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Mondo
Regular

Reged: 04/26/09
Posts: 48
Loc: Australia
Tap the collective experience of the forum
      #245582 - 04/28/09 07:38 PM

Thanks to the people that have replied to my ‘Hi I’m new” post. I appreciate the time and effort freely given by you.
I have already mentioned that I’m still pretty screwed up about the whole HIV thing. In looking for strategies to help me move forward from this point (which feels like self imposed incarceration) I thought that the forum members might be able to assist me.

Because many of you have had a wealth of experience with dealing with being HIV + I would be interested to know what the 1 or 2 main things that you did on your journey that assisted you in dealing with your diagnosis. For example, change of attitude, spirituality, new relationship, support group or medical support to name a few.

Of course the other side of the coin is probably a bit more complex. To identify the 1 or 2 main things that held you back or slowed the healing process. For example guilt, isolation, depression, substance abuse, loss of job to name a few.

I guess I may be asking the impossible question here, but I thought I would try and tap into the collective experience of the forum group.

Thanks for being there and for your interest. I hope others as well as me will be able to gain some benefit from your responses.

Cheers
Mondo




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oldwoman
Guardian

Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 435
Loc: Phila,Pa
Re: Tap the collective experience of the forum new
      #245583 - 04/28/09 08:12 PM

Hi,it sounds like you're moving forward already,coming out of your "self imposed incarceration"A couple of the things that helped me most were,I told my family and friends when I found out.I didn't want to feel like I had to constantly be on guard to keep this big secret,if they left me because of it Oh well,very few did and so I had a built in,well known,and trusted support group.The only problem with this is that none of them are HIV+(at least not that I know of)so they can't understand what it feels like.The second thing I did was join a class for people with HIV where,for the first time I was in a room full of + people who could understand,many of them had been + for many years.At the class I learned all about this disease,causes,treatment,emotional aspects,physical aspects,I became comfortable with myself and my new diagnosis.

One of the things that held-OK still holds- me back is work,for almost two years I was not strong enough to go back to work and even today I can only work part time,this continues to bother me since I loved my job.The new one is great too but....I guess I should be glad I'm able to work at all but....being human I'll still complain at times.It's not just the job I miss but that nice fat full time paycheck
Right now my advice to you would be to learn all you can,give yourself time to deal with everything that is happening to you,and breathe.Don't let the stress get to you,you will make it through this and even though some things may change many will stay the same.
Take care
Terry

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tommyga
Member

Reged: 04/28/09
Posts: 15
Loc: NY, NY
Re: Tap the collective experience of the forum new
      #245595 - 04/29/09 02:06 PM

Hey, I'm recently postive as well, as of 04/21. I don't have a lot of experience with this yet, but I'm getting as much info as I can, as you probablly are too. Hit me up with a PM if you find anything useful.

I think the thing that helps me out the most is talking about it with people in person. I've been to one session of therapy, and the only other person I've told so far is my roommate. Having them listen has been great, even if sometimes they can't realte to everything, having someone just listen has been very important. So far this has been the thing that has really moved me forward, although I have a ways to go.

What I think is holding me back is my fear of hurting other people with the news, like my family. I feel like I have to get a grip on things myself, before I really get into it with the closest people to me. This may be completely backwards though. I'm hoping to tell them sooner rather than later.

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DJones
All Star

Reged: 04/02/09
Posts: 84
Loc: Milwaukee Wisconsin
Re: Tap the collective experience of the forum new
      #245605 - 04/29/09 10:07 PM

Groups with people that are HIV + and friends have helped me the most.
I started a blog the day I found out on January 7, 2009 that I had AIDS. It has been a bumpy road. Check out what I've gone through daily at: http://daveslifelivingwithhiv.blogspot.com/
I also just started a web sight I hope to expand. I just started it this week. Check it out:
http://gaydavemilwaukee.angelfire.com/
Stay strong and take your meds when you are told to take them. I had a viral load of 334,000 and TCell of 106 in January 2009. I now have a viral load of 100 and TCell count at 226. I would love to talk via email if you choose.

--------------------
http://daveslifelivingwithhiv.blogspot.com/

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Mondo
Regular

Reged: 04/26/09
Posts: 48
Loc: Australia
Re: Tap the collective experience of the forum new
      #245608 - 04/29/09 10:31 PM

Hi Dave
Certainly seem to have had a rough time of it. It’s good to see your results improve, so good on you. Your blog and website are really good.

I look forward to keeping up with your progress.

All the best

Mondo


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ScotCharles
Legend

Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 924
Loc: Los Angeles
Re: Tap the collective experience of the forum new
      #245655 - 05/05/09 10:54 AM

Things that moved me forward

Learning to live in the Now
Learning to believe that Love is not a scarce resource in the Universe

Things that held me back

The physical pain I experienced as a result of med side effects, oppurtunistic infections, neuropathy and osteoarthritis
Loss of mental faculties, depression, and bi-polar disease as a result of HIV's effect on my brain.

Cheers,

ScotCharles

--------------------
Life is a river.
Carpe diem.

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personpitch
Newbie

Reged: 08/18/08
Posts: 6
Re: Tap the collective experience of the forum new
      #245664 - 05/05/09 09:25 PM

The day I found out for sure I was positive (I had the quick test two weeks earlier and was waiting for confirmation) was the day I also interviewed and hired for my new job. So it was a bit bittersweet.

But this job gave me a future, and a desire to want to live for it. It also gave me something else to worry about.

Now, I'm not saying you should make a major life change, and not everyone can handle stress like I can, but it definitely helped to have something positive going on in my life.

I guess what you can take out of that is don't focus on the negative, focus on the positive in your life, the future, and all the non-HIV challenges in your life. Then the HIV becomes just another challenge. Sure it means a few pills, a slightly difficult dating life, and frequent doctors visits, but it's just another challenge.

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