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HIV Life >> Living With HIV

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Lovinlife
Fanatic

Reged: 08/29/08
Posts: 63
Believing in an astounding existence
      #241766 - 09/02/08 04:51 PM

I am a newbie to this post...but pos for 10 years and have stopped by this site quite a bit over the years.
I am shocked at the number of negative and extremely depressing posts here so I thought I'd drop a line to offer thoughts on some of the posts I've seen.
1. I think you can both educate the public while still saying that HIV isn't a death sentence. We don't need to scare people into education. That's a bit Hitler-esque, no? Let's terrify people into believing/understanding that HIV is serious...that HIV is damn hard, and scary, and sucks at times? We can educate without terrifying. I don't need to see a sign of a mangled baby to learn that abortion isn't always the answer. I don't need to overdose on drugs to learn that drugs can harm my body. I have learned through being educated without scare tactics. I believe we can give people with HIV/AIDS hope by honestly saying it's not a death sentence while also educating the public to prevent more new HIV/AIDS cases.

2. I know that I have put lots of years and effort and time into getting to the gym every day, walking a deep spiritual path, getting acupuncture, taking vitamins, juicing, meditating, dancing, doing whatever it takes to keep my immune system in tact. And...it has paid off. Since diagnosis I have not put alcohol in my body or trashed my body with junk food. I have fought for medical care and waded through paperwork to join studies to get my meds paid for.

There have been bumps along the way, but I have an incredible life and having HIV doesn't prevent me from leading an astounding existence....but only because I demand nothing less.

And everybody who has HIV/AIDS can do the same.

Regardless of when you drop your body, move on to the next life, or go to the ground....whatever your spiritual beliefs deem happen to you after death. Until then, HIV or not.....you can grab an amazing life.

I have had rough rough times that I could go on and on about. But, I'd rather discuss my wins--my 6yr old heading off to 1st grade, my husband who says I am the most beautiful woman in the world, my thriving business and great health!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anybody else have some positive pos experiences to share?!?!??!?!?!

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RevAnn
Guru

Reged: 08/17/06
Posts: 245
Loc: fort myers, florida
Re: Believing in an astounding existence new
      #241769 - 09/02/08 07:42 PM

Quote:


1. I think you can both educate the public while still saying that HIV isn't a death sentence. We don't need to scare people into education. That's a bit Hitler-esque, no? Let's terrify people into believing/understanding that HIV is serious...that HIV is damn hard, and scary, and sucks at times? We can educate without terrifying.




With all due respect, I disagree. Not that my original thread was actually negative. The statements I made are based in reality and it is a sad reality. Reality can be depressing but trying to throw rose colored glasses on, does not change it.

I didn't suggest to use scare tactics, just the truth. That is far from "Hilter-esque" as you put it. Look at what is happening, kids (teens) are getting infected. A lot of them thinking that all they have to do is take a pill and everything will be okay. That is not reality.

I am glad to see you have a great life, well so do I. However, not everyone is having a happy, happy, joy, joy life. That is in most part the reason for this forum. So they can come here express what is going on and find support. They do not come here so that they can be scolded and tell them that they are living their lives incorrectly. Not to mention those who are so ill that they can't do all the wonderful things that you are doing for yourself.
Oh in case you are wondering who the heck I am, I tested pos in 1987. I am now 40 yo and have seen the travisty of this virus. I am a quite positive person, but like I said earlier, I believe in facing reality and telling the whole truth, nothing left out.

Thank you for your time


--------------------
Namu-Myoho-Renge-Kyo

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Lovinlife
Fanatic

Reged: 08/29/08
Posts: 63
Re: Believing in an astounding existence new
      #241788 - 09/03/08 02:06 PM

Quote:

Quote:


1. I think you can both educate the public while still saying that HIV isn't a death sentence. We don't need to scare people into education. That's a bit Hitler-esque, no? Let's terrify people into believing/understanding that HIV is serious...that HIV is damn hard, and scary, and sucks at times? We can educate without terrifying.




With all due respect, I disagree. Not that my original thread was actually negative. The statements I made are based in reality and it is a sad reality. Reality can be depressing but trying to throw rose colored glasses on, does not change it.

I didn't suggest to use scare tactics, just the truth. That is far from "Hilter-esque" as you put it. Look at what is happening, kids (teens) are getting infected. A lot of them thinking that all they have to do is take a pill and everything will be okay. That is not reality.

I am glad to see you have a great life, well so do I. However, not everyone is having a happy, happy, joy, joy life. That is in most part the reason for this forum. So they can come here express what is going on and find support. They do not come here so that they can be scolded and tell them that they are living their lives incorrectly. Not to mention those who are so ill that they can't do all the wonderful things that you are doing for yourself.
Oh in case you are wondering who the heck I am, I tested pos in 1987. I am now 40 yo and have seen the travisty of this virus. I am a quite positive person, but like I said earlier, I believe in facing reality and telling the whole truth, nothing left out.

Thank you for your time


Don't say "With all due respect" unless you understand what that phrase means. Because, you do not respect my opinion. And, it isn't fair for you to push your "reality" on all HIV pos people. My life IS happy happy joy joy because that IS how I see it. It may be rose colored glasses for you...but what I am encouraging people to do is to allow themselves to see their beautiful reality.

I know many kids who think HIV is no big deal and I know A TON of kids who think it is a huge deal and that they need to use protection.

I NEVER said anybody is living their life incorrectly. I simply asked if anybody wanted to share any upbeat stories--in particular for those newly diagnosed.

I also think it's unfair to say that you dont want to allow people who have HIV to hope and to believe that it is a manageable disease. Just because that's not YOUR reality does not mean it's not a reality.

Please don't try to make your reality my reality and you only, by the way, served to exemplify my point. I asked in my post if anybody wanted to share any positive stories about their life or encouraging moments and you shot me down in response.

So---I think i shall seek out likeminded support elsewhere if, as you say, the purpose of this post is for people who's lives are not "happy happy joy joy." Because I have had 10 years of tears, fear, terror, seen people dying, traveled to other countries and have seen what HIV/AIDS is doing leaving children orphaned and tearing families apart and I for 1 am ready to get up and recognize that my life is amazing and to point out to others that it can be for them as well.

I don't believe anybody said when i signed up, "This post is only if your beliefs and reality is that of RevAnn who is a seasoned HIVer and therefore knows more than you thus runs the forum."

Thanks.





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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: Believing in an astounding existence new
      #241803 - 09/04/08 09:16 AM

What works for one person does not always work for another.
Trying to impose your method for dealing with HIV on others is not the way to win friends and influence people around here thats for sure. I am guilty as much as anyone of wanting to help people see that there is hope...
If I had the time and the money....maybe I could spend all my time juicing and meditating and walking but that is not the way my life works. It sure sounds nice tho. Maybe I'll come live with you.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Lovinlife
Fanatic

Reged: 08/29/08
Posts: 63
Re: Believing in an astounding existence new
      #241809 - 09/04/08 10:30 AM

Again....I repeat....again...I NEVER tried to impose my method for living on anybody else. I simply offered a line for anybody who wanted to share anything HOPEFUL or POSITIVE about their life.

Didn't know this was a forum only for those who are feeling down or are at the end of their life with HIV/AIDS.

and..despite your sarcasm.....I also didn't say I meditate all day...in fact I never once mentioned meditating. And, it takes 10 minutes to juice. I never said anybody must do it. I just wanted to say that sometimes it takes time and commitment to your health to help yourself a bit. I never said anybody had to juice.

I actually printed out your responses and showed them to my doctor and she shook her head and said, "that's the problem. If you are doing well and positive, other HIVers want to shoot you down instead of asking how you are doing it."

I, by the way, work a full time job running my own company which has several locations. I also have three children. I have no health insurance for my family because i am HIV positive we can't get health coverage. So--my struggles are not unlike anybody elses. I am pregnant and on medication so I am fricking exhausted at the end of the day. My husband and i struggle to pay all of our bills and sometimes we are picking and choosing which ones to pay.

But--every day i get up and get to a healthy breakfast. I get myself out to the gym or to a dance class with my kids.

I don't have the time or money to meditate all day as you say. But thank you for the smart a** response and total lack of encouragement.

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Florida69
Legend

Reged: 02/19/07
Posts: 541
Re: Believing in an astounding existence new
      #241811 - 09/04/08 10:47 AM

Quote:



I don't believe anybody said when i signed up, "This post is only if your beliefs and reality is that of RevAnn who is a seasoned HIVer and therefore knows more than you thus runs the forum."

Thanks.





This is indeed a forum of support and it sounds like you are well adjusted. Maybe I am wrong, but going on the defensive because some do not agree with you, is not going to accomplish anything. We all have struggles in our life that we deal with daily, and I am so happy that you are dealing with yours and finding your way through this virus and focusing on the good. Ann's question was just that not necessarily a statement.

For all of us, it is sometimes hard to see the good and the positive in dealing with the day to day. If you have been positive since 1987, you know that we have made some remarkable strides when it comes to fighting this virus, but we have a long way to go and many battles in front of us. It appears we are all in similar situations where we have to focus on our health and keeping a positive outlook. No one said that this forum belonged to anyone, it is indeed a public forum. I am so glad that you are so well adjusted and your story is inspirational, to have children, a life and the abilites to make it through. I too am blessed to have good people in my life that help me see the light at the end of the dark and most of the time dreary tunnell and make my struggle worth the pain and toil that we have to endure, Bear and Ann are just a couple of those people. Thank you so much for the post, and positive spin. Sometimes those type of stories make it appear that we are on the right track to quality of life. I am happy for you. Many of us face hardships, we have to overcome and look for a brighter day, it seems you are already on that track. I too try excercise, eat right and live, love and laugh (not necessarily in that order), and it is refreshing to see that someone else is trying to do that too. D

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Lovinlife
Fanatic

Reged: 08/29/08
Posts: 63
Re: Believing in an astounding existence new
      #241822 - 09/04/08 04:01 PM

Thank you D.

I know that there are many many many realities, lives, paths for those with HIV. It is not and was not my intention to force my ideas upon anybody.

I just wanted to contribute an opinion which was met with hostility. All i put in is that, from my OPINION, we don't have to tell people HIV is a death sentence or stop telling people it's manageable. I have a right to that opinion. And, that doesn't mean i don't think that prevention is serious and we need to raise our voices to the younger generations who think HIV is no big deal because of meds advertisements that show buff guys and beautiful smiling women. (umm....yeah....i don't recall looking like that on my meds....but then again i could barely get out of bed long enough to comb my hair so...anywho.....)

I have read these forum posts for years and never contributed. But, I began to notice more and more that somebody would put a thought up and a few of the seasoned contributors would knock them down and then put something like "peace" or "best" at the end of the message as though that's okay.

I haven't seen what it was like to have HIV in 1987. But, I'm not stupid. I can have compassion and understanding for it. And i see it now--and have seen it in other countries where the life is so much harder on your body and spirit without even having HIV. So i do get on a bit of a soapbox because here in the US we still have lots of challenges, but they just aren't the same as in Central America, Asia, Africa....

I watched others put their opinions on the forum and get totally blasted for not being pc enough or for feeling sorry for themselves and i suppose by the time i posted i came ready for a battle but was hoping i could get a discourse started on some of the things people are doing to overcome the stigma, fear, and pain that comes with living constantly with HIV/AIDS.



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Florida69
Legend

Reged: 02/19/07
Posts: 541
Re: Believing in an astounding existence new
      #241823 - 09/04/08 04:52 PM

Thank you for the response and this is a great place to start in order to have a real conversation in dealing with our lives with HIV/AIDS. Although in this country we are afforded good health care, but the cost is astronomical. I can not off the top of my head tell you how many Americans do not have health care and are forced to succumb to big brother in their need to for health care and health needs. In the United States we need to deal with the costs of health care and medications. I spend 250/month on private insurance and 550/month out of pocket for medications in an attempt to control this virus that runs rampant and that I have seen destroy many of my friends and loved ones. It does not leave much else for anything else, I manage to pay my mortgage, my car payments, have a nice life, but at what cost. In my opinion if we as a community spent more time educating the youth of our world, then we could stop the spread of HIV. I see your point, about how HIV is out of control in other parts of the world, but for the most part governments are responsible by pushing the real issues of HIV/AIDS to the back burner, not to mention the stigma that exists in dealing with the virus. I can agree that we do not have to stop telling people that this is a death sentence, but in reading posts like that of AIDS2HIV, SCOTTCHARLES, REVANN and BEAR, we have to realize that this disease is not really manageable. We can slow its progress, but we can not control it. Until we have a cure, we can not even act like we can not call. The medications have come a long way in allowing us to have more of a quality of life for a time, but the side effects to the medications are running rampant on our bodies. I am a bit weary in this forum for the most part when new comers sign in and post and then talk about how they have lived with this disease for a long time, and are perfect, and I tend to question how perfect that they are in dealing with this detrimental disease that has in my life time become a pandemic. I have learned, and I will tell you that AIDS2HIV, SCOTTCHARLES, REVANN, BEAR, ESMERALDA and countless others have inspired me, beyond my own belief that we are indeed part of the same material and we are strong and are part of the same community that is dealing with the stigma, fear and pain associated with being HIV positive and it is really up to us to educate and deal with real life issues when it comes to being HIV+, in my life I have learned that is better to face adversity than to hide from it. Again thanks for the dialogue. D

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