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davidgi
Newbie

Reged: 06/30/08
Posts: 1
recently diagnosed 70 year old with depression
      #240374 - 06/30/08 10:54 PM

I was diagnosed pos. I am 70 year old with 4 children and four grandchildren. I got drunk 16 days ago and gave fellatio to a Thai lady boy. An HIV/NAT test is positive.I was negative on all tests before that. I am a chronic worrier and am considering the best way to kill myself because of the embarrassment to me, my family and friends. I feel as I am 70 and have had a good life there is nothing left for me but worry. I also expect that because of my age the onset of AIDS will be much quicker. I also worry about having operations for other medical problems I might have in the future. I am incredibly worried and finding it hard to continue. It's worse because I have always looked after myself and am very fit for my age,Can anyone help?

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Samurai
Fanatic

Reged: 06/25/08
Posts: 68
Loc: Texas, USA
Re: recently diagnosed 70 year old with depression new
      #240376 - 06/30/08 11:40 PM

Dude! Chill out man. Having HIV is not what it use to be. First you are newly infected and it likely would take many years for you to develop a significant viral load. And the medications are fantastic with little to no side effects. I have been positive since 2003 and I have a negative partner and have no trouble keeping it that way.
You have been shocked with the news but do not over react. Just listen to a good HIV doctor and follow his/her instructions. This is not the end of the world unless you make it be. And frankly there are far worse things to have like several cancers that give one no hope for survival and now almost everyone survives HIV (if you take care of yourself). My doctor is more worried about my smoking. Also, wait about 4 weeks and get a second test. You might have a false positive with the NAT. It happens man. I had gall bladder surgery and there was no complication due to my HIV. Since you are in good shape you need only to continue to do the same and take precaution not to infect anyone. Basically, it is safe to give head if you don't have bleeding in your mouth. Don't let anyone use your razor or toothbrush. Wear a condom for intercourse if your do that. Kissing, normal contact is totally safe for your partner. Just calm down, and read up on the facts and do not be moved to extremes of emotions by mostly myths and what you might remember how it was before all the fabulous new drugs we have. You have every reason to expect to live--to stay good for a very long time. And your age will not dictate if the virus grows quickly, your general health will have an effect. Take care of yourself. The average development of AIDS from HIV is over 10 years, and it is NEVER when you take the meds. Good luck. Chat with me anytime if you need it.
~bob

--------------------
I am forever amazed at the abundance of hydrogen and ignorance in the universe.
~Albert Einstein

Edited by Samurai (06/30/08 11:44 PM)

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chevytexas
Regular

Reged: 06/19/08
Posts: 25
Re: recently diagnosed 70 year old with depression new
      #240447 - 07/03/08 04:50 PM

Bob's right (is that we're both Texans?): I'm 58 (okay, 58 1/2) and if you say you're in good health, you recognize what we, um, "mature adults" have to reckon with: cholesterol, sugar, trying to paint the house ourselves. Traffic. Cell phones. I completely understand the worry from a fresh diagnosis but, like Bob, I'd say "get a second opinion/test" and also to recognize that chances are small, unless you get an actual illness, that you'll even be on medication until they get your cell counts. I've been HIV since my diagnosis in 1989 if you can believe that; Life has presented many more challenges from its bag of tricks and HIV could think of. That said, I just got my first granddaughter last month. There's a reason (or reasons) you're going to live. If you can't share this with a friend or family member, I hope you can find a support group; this is not something to preoccupy you and be dealt with alone. Best wishes from Texas,
Chevy

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: recently diagnosed 70 year old with depression new
      #240461 - 07/04/08 10:50 AM

Giving fellatio (oral) is not a high risk activity...he is probably not going to test positive for HIV. My guess is that David is just worrying too much.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Josephjcbj
Newbie

Reged: 07/07/08
Posts: 1
Re: recently diagnosed 70 year old with depression new
      #240529 - 07/07/08 09:58 PM

I understand your fear and it is only natural to go through them. I myself have been living with HIV for more than 15 years. No one has "The Golden Answer". HIV is different with each of us.

I have had many surgeries and scans of my body that I should be glowing. I try to keep a positive outlook on my life as it is now and I ask LOTS of questions. Let's face it, we are the ones that have to take the meds on a regular basis and NOT the doctors.

We have so more options as far as meds go today than back in the 80's. That's not to say that they aren't side-effects, but again what works for me may not work for you.

Surround yourself with people that are supportive and encouraging and find out and don't be araid to ask the hard questions is the best advice I can pass on to you.

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NoMiddleName
Newbie

Reged: 06/25/08
Posts: 2
Re: recently diagnosed 70 year old with depression new
      #240536 - 07/07/08 10:31 PM

I concur with the Texan[s]...it would be helpful for you to locate a support group and/or a therapist to help you navigate through this. Your own unaided thinking is making everything seem worse than it is but you may have great difficulty pulling yourself out of that since you describe your worrying as "chronic". Even if you are truly positive, and a second test is a good idea, you are likely to have many good & healthy years ahead of you [I'm positive 21 years now and still working full-time and having a good time living]. They are not worth sacrificing over a bit of embarassment. Your family and friends will be much, much more traumatized if you should take your own life than they ever will be by finding out you had lapse in judgement with unfortunate consequences.

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bakcake
Newbie

Reged: 01/06/08
Posts: 6
Loc: new mexico
Re: recently diagnosed 70 year old with depression new
      #240543 - 07/08/08 03:12 PM

Dear 70 yr old, you need to rise above your depression and start living again.JUst because you have hiv at 70 dosent mean you are going to die tomorrow..I an 53 and was 50 when i was diagnosed.I felt the same way you did. I have 3 grown children,wife and 4 grand children. I t was rough telling them, but they have been my greatest support.With out them I could not live. Also, if your friends were true friends they will still like and love you.!!! If the love and liked you before, if they are true (family and friends) the should still love and like you now!!!! If not you dont need them in your life, they will be a burden in your life...You have to rise about the circumstance and still live...Hey you have alot of life to live.. Now days hiv is not a death sentence, but a reason to live and show people that you are still going to live and rise above it. Age is only a number. Ican act a younger age!!!! Dont give up, but look at the reasons to continue to live ----- Lewie

--------------------
lewie baker

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OldiewithAIDS
Newbie

Reged: 10/21/07
Posts: 6
Loc: American
Re: recently diagnosed 70 year old with depression new
      #240698 - 07/16/08 12:37 PM

David, you will be fine and should live for a long time. I'm
also "old", have kids and grandkids. There is life after AIDS.
I'm so thankful that I didn't die when I first became sick 5 years ago...we had no idea that I had the virus. I had given
blood many many times and my positive status was never
brought up. My doctor claims that I was positive for at least
20 years, but remained in good health. My wife still works
and I have become a retired house husband...lots of babysitting, cleaning and the usual stuff. Life can be good if you take care of yourself....low fat diet, correct meds taken
on time, positive attitude and exersise. I recently finished a
100 mile bike race for cancer. I take naps everyday when I can and stay away from smoke filled rooms such as bars and gambling places. None of us no when we will die, but I think we were left alive to fillfull his "plan" for us, so enjoy your life....their is life after AIDS! And don't worry about how
you got this disease...it's a disease just like cancer is. Sucking one dick doesn't always lead to AIDS! AIDS victims are just that...victims! Take care of yourself and your family.

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ScotCharles
Legend

Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 924
Loc: Los Angeles
Re: recently diagnosed 70 year old with depression new
      #240725 - 07/17/08 11:30 AM

Better you die quick than slowly, so you can get it over with. Too bad, too sad for you.

--------------------
Life is a river.
Carpe diem.

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oldwoman
Guardian

Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 435
Loc: Phila,Pa
Re: recently diagnosed 70 year old with depression new
      #240760 - 07/18/08 11:23 AM

X,what the hell kind of comment is that?I for one don't want to hear that kind of negative crap.

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cunta_stalwart
Grand Master

Reged: 06/27/08
Posts: 175
Re: recently diagnosed 70 year old with depression new
      #240765 - 07/18/08 02:57 PM

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX has lost the plot


Go get yourself some help my friend you are obviously under a lot of stress

--------------------
How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost

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danmass
Newbie

Reged: 07/04/08
Posts: 2
Re: recently diagnosed 70 year old with depression new
      #240953 - 07/24/08 05:09 PM

Let me add my voice to those who are over 60 and who are living well with HIV. I'm actually bothered much more by the predictable older-age problems like cancer than I am by HIV, and I guess it's good to be able to say that.

David, I believe the situation will be similar for you: With good advice and empathetic doctors, you will most likely be able to live comfortably with HIV, although an HIV support group would still be valuable for you. However, it's your worrying that is so destructive in your life. You would benefit from seeing a psychiatrist at least once, whether or not you decide to continue or to take medication for your anxiety. You can also do a lot on your own by using cognitive therapy.

I hope by now you are no longer feeling the despair which I read in your post, since that despair can mask the reality of a situation and make it appear much darker than it really is. I'll be thinking of you.

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