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Leonardo
Guru

Reged: 08/07/07
Posts: 233
Loc: New Jersey
First Six Months
      #235695 - 01/26/08 05:23 PM

Hi Folks,

I'm in my sixth month of being HIV positive, and I would like to share some reflections, which I hope will be helpful to the newly diagnosed.

Six months ago, I took news of my status like a death. I crumbled and couldn't pick myself up for days. When I did finally manage to stop crying, I spent the next week wandering around feeling dead inside. Then I obsessed over how long I would live and whether I would have to take medication.

Earlier that summer, my partner and I had made plans to see Pat Benatar play at Six Flags. I dreaded the arrival of that day. I was uncomforable being out in public. How could I have a good time when this was going on? But when the day of the concert arrived, I decided for the first time to forget about being HIV positve and focus on having a good time. It was a good move. Going to that concert made me realize that I was still alive, regardless of my hiv status.

At that point, I still didn't feel altogether optimistic, but I decided that as long as I was "still me", I might as well enjoy life.

I'm taking too long to make this point, I know. And it may not really be much of a point anyway. But over the past six months, I've begun practicing meditation, mastered a few new video games, started running again, took on new initiatives at work, and spent a good amount of time with family and friends. I've also made a lot of good HIV+ friends in the process of dealing with it along the way.

One of the most important ways to keep HIV from ending your life is to keep living.

Six months later, I am healthier and more "together" than I was before being diagnosed poz. In the beginning, I had premonitions of my deterioration, of no longer "being me".

I am still "me" today, six months later. I just have to take care of myself and remember that I'm not alone. Thanks to all of you who continue to be a great source of support and inspiration.

May you be free from danger. May you be happy. May you be healthy, and may you live with ease.

Leo



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oldwoman
Guardian

Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 435
Loc: Phila,Pa
Re: First Six Months new
      #235697 - 01/26/08 05:51 PM

Congratulations Leo,from the sounds of it you are doing great
Terry

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hrdrsr
Regular

Reged: 11/03/07
Posts: 48
Loc: Colorado
Re: First Six Months new
      #235701 - 01/26/08 07:22 PM

Leo,

Congratulations, I found out in October and you were one of the many on here to help me through this it is because of you and the others that I have been able to keep on going.

You are an inspiration.

Thanks again and May God Bless you to keep inspiring.
You are a wonderful person.

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Leonardo
Guru

Reged: 08/07/07
Posts: 233
Loc: New Jersey
Re: First Six Months new
      #235704 - 01/26/08 09:02 PM

Just a follow-up - I just got tickets to see Pat Benatar again on April 18th. Woo hoo!!!!

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Leonardo
Guru

Reged: 08/07/07
Posts: 233
Loc: New Jersey
Re: First Six Months new
      #235707 - 01/26/08 09:43 PM

Hi Terry,

Thanks. I have really benefitted from your support.

Love,
Leo


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Leonardo
Guru

Reged: 08/07/07
Posts: 233
Loc: New Jersey
Re: First Six Months new
      #235708 - 01/26/08 09:46 PM

hrdrsr,

I'm really glad we've connected and are here for each other. You've been just as much of an inspiration to me.

Love,
Leo


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whocanfigure
Guru

Reged: 09/01/07
Posts: 231
Re: First Six Months new
      #235716 - 01/27/08 12:49 AM

Leonardo, congratulations for graduating from the first 6 months!! It should only get better from here. Have a great time at the Pat Benatar concert!!! It is great to know you.
Bernie

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shadow1234567
Member

Reged: 01/26/08
Posts: 17
Re: First Six Months new
      #235757 - 01/27/08 03:49 PM

leo come too fla and i'll show u good time at strip clubs girl will love too gave you lap dance

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: First Six Months new
      #235759 - 01/27/08 04:21 PM

Hi Leo
I'm glad you are doing well.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Leonardo
Guru

Reged: 08/07/07
Posts: 233
Loc: New Jersey
Re: First Six Months new
      #235775 - 01/27/08 07:57 PM

Hey Bear,

Thanks man. Hope you are well.

Leo


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franfrog
Legend

Reged: 01/05/06
Posts: 1342
Loc: NJ
Re: First Six Months new
      #235790 - 01/28/08 07:41 AM

Leo
I am glad you are doing so well. Wen you feel good you look good!
Wow Pat Benatar? How was she? Well I would just never do the six flags! :-)

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Florida69
Legend

Reged: 02/19/07
Posts: 541
Re: First Six Months new
      #235794 - 01/28/08 09:57 AM

I love me some Pat Benatar, six flags too... I am glad you are doing so well. You are an awesome soul, I am glad you are here.. D

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dotman32
Regular

Reged: 12/16/07
Posts: 39
Loc: Boston, MA
Re: First Six Months new
      #235924 - 01/29/08 10:59 PM

Glad you're doing well Leo. I always find comfort in your posts. Been 2.5 months for me. Wonder what words of wisdom I'll have at 6 months?!?! Not something one can prepare for I suppose .. but something you experience .. and LIVE. One ot the HIV/AIDS organizations here in Boston is called "The Living Center." I never thought twice about the name prior to my diagnosis. Not it seems so profound. Gives me comfort to think about that. I have every intention of continuing to live. I went on my first date the other night since my diagnosis .. felt great. Scarey too. But great.
Stay well.

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garret99
Member

Reged: 01/31/08
Posts: 15
Re: First Six Months new
      #236112 - 02/01/08 03:41 AM

hello leo, i just found out about this forum and have been reading alot the last couple of days. i live in rural thailand and have almost no outlet for my condition other then my wife and doctor its been a pleasure to read what you and the others write.thanks and good luck.

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pozartistsd
Expert

Reged: 01/04/08
Posts: 105
Loc: San Diego, CA
Re: First Six Months new
      #236325 - 02/06/08 12:23 PM

thanks, that's really well put and very relevant to me as I just had my 6 month anniversary too. I share a lot of the feelings you expressed and realize many of us do. I guess a lot of that is due to the fact that we are still on the "cusp" of the transition from the death sentence days to the now treatable chronic illness era. I think a lot of us (i know I am) are still trying to convince ourselves that we will be ok (as far as HIV goes) physically and eventually emotionally. This concept seems so surreal as we are conquering a potentially terminal disease. the miracles of modern medicine! I can only hope it gets even better... at least i now have hope among other good things. thanks again!

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