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douglass
New User

Reged: 01/10/08
Posts: 23
SHOULD WE DISCLOSE BEING POSITIVE?
      #235201 - 01/13/08 11:52 AM

i seem to read alot of post about telling people about ones hiv/ aids status- this seems to be a issue- WAKE UP everyone handles this on a personal level and no one here has the right to say we should disclose that we are positive- we all walk in our own shoes and have reasons why we choose to tell or not tell people. as for a support group well some people dont need that while others do once again each persons choice. i dont want to offend anyone here just lets be more careful how we discuss issues- dont attack someone for posting a comment or view this is an open forum to help each other air there feelings or concerns and i for one just want to be able to support anyone in their personal decisions or any questions they may have. I HAVE BEEN POSITIVE 23 YRS AND ONLY MY PARTNER DR AND THERAPIST KNOW. AND THAT IS MY PERSONAL CHOICE.

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Bear60
Veteran

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: SHOULD WE DISCLOSE BEING POSITIVE? new
      #235214 - 01/13/08 03:54 PM

i agree with you to a point on the issue of disclosure.. You have a partner. There are a lot of single HIV positive people out there who are lonely and will be dating......... trying to establish a long term relationship. It is not possible to hide something like this from a potential partner. (And in some states it may even be illegal to keep it a secret from a sexual partner.)
Disclosure is not easy, as I know from experience. Not everyone needs to know. I mean the guy who fixes your car does not need to know, but your dentist does.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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ScotCharles
Veteran

Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 924
Loc: Los Angeles
Re: SHOULD WE DISCLOSE BEING POSITIVE? new
      #235269 - 01/14/08 03:06 PM

I'm not attacking you. If you don't work why do you have to continue to live in the same crap town with people you can't confide in? Move on.

--------------------
Life is a river.
Carpe diem.

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douglass
New User

Reged: 01/10/08
Posts: 23
Re: SHOULD WE DISCLOSE BEING POSITIVE? new
      #235281 - 01/14/08 04:27 PM

whats with so many of your comments being negative???? i live in rural america in a small town where everybody knows everybody however we do not discuss sexuality-after 23 yrs with the same faithful man everyone knows we are a couple but details of our personal life are never discussed -why its no ones business-we are both well respected and dearly loved by all our straight-gay-bi friends but for me to disclose being hiv + just is not an issue. like i said in my post disclosing hiv status is a personal choice and no two cases are alike. once again i would ask you to respect each persons own decision and not be so negative(charles).

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douglass
New User

Reged: 01/10/08
Posts: 23
Re: SHOULD WE DISCLOSE BEING POSITIVE? new
      #235283 - 01/14/08 04:36 PM

almost all towns have resources for hiv+ to meet other hiv+ for friendship and possible dating- if you are single and positive you should take that route first-quite frankly most hiv- do not want to get involved with hiv+ for several reasons and thats there right. craigslist is a great place to meet online for more than just a sex hook up and besides sex is in my opinion just such a small factor in the whole relationship thing-

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dj1979
Regular

Reged: 03/02/06
Posts: 276
Loc: rural upstate NY
Re: SHOULD WE DISCLOSE BEING POSITIVE? new
      #235302 - 01/15/08 07:25 AM

In a perfect world, we could disclose and discuss being HIV+ just like we would if we were diabetic. We could discuss our fears, our labs, our treatment, our side effects. We could discuss our desire to spread the word and increase awareness so that people would practice safe sex and decrease the transmission rates of this virus.

BUT - we don't live in that perfect world. We live in a world where HIV is still thought of as a sort of plague. People still think that you can get HIV from silverware and drinking glasses, toilet seats, etc. People think that HIV is a disease of homosexuals and drug users.

SO, we have to chose very carefully who we disclose to. I also live in a small town, and for years have heard the whispers about a few well known gay men (did you hear he has AIDS, for instance). My daughter works as a lifequard at the YMCA and people have objected to these men being in the hot tub.

I would love to increase public awareness, provide education to the masses, but I don't think rural America is receptive to this information yet. Maybe someday.


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picaropsv
Member

Reged: 01/05/08
Posts: 49
Loc: Spain
Re: Yes, and No. new
      #235319 - 01/16/08 03:03 AM

Hey all!

I had asked about support groups in my small city of about 50,000 people and was given leaflets that talked about groups in a nearby, larger city, another by the red cross offering help for drug abusers (I am not) and was told that the majority of HIV+ in my city finally have to leave town, either because they feel totally alone, or because of fear of being found out, or because they have been found out.

This led me to be concerned about the number of people at the hospital who were aware of my condition. At least 12 nurses and four or five doctors, during my stay, had to have read my chart and seen the big old HIV+ brand on the first page. Now, with the every three months blood letting, the ladies who give me the number to wait in line, the lady who takes the blood, the other lady who processes it in the laboratory….and waiting for my every three month appointment, well the first months when someone caught me in the public waiting room, I could say it was a check-;up for the pneumonia, but now that seven months have gone by since my hospital stay, what excuse am I going to be able to give?

This is small town Spain, where everyone knows just about everyone, and though the people in general are not nosey, the word can indeed get around. Finally, my nurse told me that thousands of people suffer from hepatitis and even die from it in my town and that I shouldn’t be so concerned about the stigma of HIV. Perhaps she is right, I have become less concerned about it, but I continue to be very careful about the subject of my health. I’ve just stopped talking about my health, it’s no one’s business but my own, a little like I never described my favorite sexual practices to others, why should I describe my health compromises to others? It’s helped chop away at the paranoia that one experiences at first, but as I’ve mentioned in other posts, it does not contribute to open study and understanding of the situation, which is what has long been needed. Time will tell, we’ll see if those of us who have had our time “cut short” will see that telling.


--------------------
peace,
picaro.

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