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dotman32
Member

Reged: 12/16/07
Posts: 39
Loc: Boston, MA
Just Diagnosed 12/12
      #234484 - 12/16/07 01:18 PM

So many emotions. So many ups and downs. Plus physically just not feeling all that great. I learned 12/12 that I'm positive. Think I was infected 11/12. Ugh. Just don't know what to make of things right now. I've told a few friends and they've all been GREAT. Thank god. Can't imagine telling my parents and my sibs. They're going to be devestated. I know they'll be supportive .. but feeling so guilty, ashamed, etc. Not to mention SCARED. I haven't been able to read much about HIV so far .. not sure how much I can handle. But glad to know about this site. I've read a few posts and found some comfort in them. I know I'm not alone but it's feeling like it at the moment. Grateful for any positive energy you can send my way.

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Leonardo
Regular

Reged: 08/07/07
Posts: 233
Loc: New Jersey
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234485 - 12/16/07 01:58 PM

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. This is not a death sentence anymore. You can live a long and healthy life with HIV. You'll need a good doctor, and you'll need to take care of yourself.

I was diagnosed in August. I had been feeling bad, and I felt worse after the diagnosis. I had to go on medication, which is not really bad. Four months later, I am feeling good and my viral load is nearly undetectable.

You can handle this. If you need a friend, feel free to contact me.

Hang in there.

Leo


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Bear60
Veteran

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234486 - 12/16/07 02:08 PM

Relax.
It takes several years to realize that you are in this for the LONG HAUL. If you dont know what that means, its called FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. So.......you can do it the hard way or the easy way.
First, you must make an appointment with an Infectious Disease Doctor who will determine where you stand with HIV. This involves getting a series of blood draws over a period of three to six months to figure out your HIV type, your CD4 numbers and your percentages (as well as all the rest of the STD information about you: do you have Chlamydia, Genital warts, Herpes, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis and/or Syphilis.

Then its necessary to change your lifestyle to reflect a more serious interest in your health. Hook up with an Aids Service Organization if you can. Find a support group if you can. See a counselor if you can. Make dietary changes that reflect healthy eating habits. Finding a good set of health care professionals is important, of course, and if you have no insurance, try to find a free clinic that will give you the necessary medical attention.
Since you have not told us anything about yourself its difficult to say what you need to do right away, but it is necessary to see a doctor. Its NOT a good idea to ask for advice online but its good to seek support.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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jaw98
New User

Reged: 12/15/07
Posts: 11
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234489 - 12/16/07 03:01 PM

It is hard at first, we all know that. but it will get better. I have been for 9 years now. When i found out I was only 18, and i thought that my life was over. I thought that I would never find anyone to love, but yet i did, and we will be celebrating our 8 year anniv. in Feb. I just want to wish you the best of luck in everything

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movingon
Member

Reged: 08/27/07
Posts: 66
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234492 - 12/16/07 08:10 PM

Dotman - it will get better mate . It is hard at first, nobody here will tell you otherwise. I was diagnosed 4 months ago, and i felt like killing myself. Now i am on meds, doing great, and i have got a grip of my life and am enjoying myself again.

There is no secret formula to get you through this first tough few weeks. Get yourself educated, but dont become obsessed, establish a support network (for me it IS my parents and siblings and wife, and a few select friends) and just tell yoruself that you will be around for a LONG time to come.

Feel free to send me a private message if you want to talk more.

take care

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Florida69
Veteran

Reged: 02/19/07
Posts: 541
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234495 - 12/16/07 10:09 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis, it is hard dealing with it for yourself most less your family. There is no rush, it would be easier for you to tell them, because it gives them the opportunity to be supportive. But take your time, there is no hurry. Give yourself the opportunity to digest this information. Welcome to the body.. D

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hrdrsr
Member

Reged: 11/03/07
Posts: 48
Loc: Colorado
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234513 - 12/18/07 09:29 AM

Well I remember when I was diagnosed (Oct 9) I also have not told my family just look in the mirror everyday and say I am worth it. Getting educated is the key to some balance although it is not what everyone wants to hear it helps and don't expect everything to absorb the first time. I found myself looking back at a lot of what I had read many times before things soaked in.

Keep your head up and good luck
God bless you
Try to have a Merry Christmas. Be thankful for all you do have.

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sunflower
Regular

Reged: 08/31/06
Posts: 159
Loc: AK
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234529 - 12/19/07 11:37 AM

Warm thoughts and hugs sent to you - we have all been there - wishing you could feel the warmth sent your way and the support - take good care of yourself, find small things to pamper yourself, and let it unfold at your own pace, you have lots of time to let it sink in and learn more - it is an ongoing process.
Use us for support.
Hugs -
Lor

--------------------
Focus on your potential.

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dfwjeep
New User

Reged: 04/19/07
Posts: 8
Loc: Dallas, Tx
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234536 - 12/19/07 08:13 PM

Well I can understand how you feel. I was diagnosed 9-1-00, just after I met what was to become my partner. I advised him and he still came to be with me. The bitter pill...my 21 year old son was SO upset, he just cried when I told him. To make him feel better I said, "Jeff, don't worry about me...you never know, I could out live you!!". Well that son was murdered 6 months later. I would gladly have gone first, but the moral is...never worry about the bad side of things, just be thankful for what you have, the days you have, and the loved ones around you. Things generally work out somehow, and I'm sure you'll see things much differently once you've accepted your diagnoses as just another challenge in your life.

Feel free to email me anytime you want or need someone to talk with.

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TRex
Regular

Reged: 01/09/07
Posts: 129
Loc: California, USA
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234540 - 12/20/07 01:21 AM

Dotman..it is an emotional rollercoaster and you are entitled to that. You came to the right place. We have all been there. I was diagnosed a year ago..and felt lousy. After almost a year on meds...feel physically good. Take your time telling whomever you want to tell. Its your choice. collect yourself if you need to. Its all about you right now. I didn't tell my siblings until a month ago..nothing has changed, they are very supportive and happy I am doing well. Get a good ID doctor. Get all your numbers. Be an advocate for your own care. Read a lot on this website. Educate yourself. Make a committment to live a long and productive life..because you will.
Dot..we are all here for you. Emal anytime. Sending all the positive energy I have..because its a lot.
Bernardine (Bernie)

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drnsee
Member

Reged: 11/16/07
Posts: 35
Loc: Tampa, FL
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234604 - 12/23/07 12:55 AM

Hey dotman32, kudos for you for reaching out for support at least! The first month I learned I was diagnosed (3 years ago) I became an anti-social hermit and started looking like one (didn't shave or comb my hair--a real mess!).

I think the best thing I did was join a support group. It's amazing to relate and listen to those in the same situation--many of which have been living with HIV for over 20 years!

No matter how dark the night, dawn will always come...you will be well and seem to be on the right track already. :)

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alive2
Regular

Reged: 03/08/07
Posts: 342
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234611 - 12/23/07 07:00 AM

i have been positive since 2004,i think at this time your mind is so wrapped around this that you may want to just take a deep breath and relax.no need to panic,there is much to learn about this if you dont already know it.i have been where your at,and its a tuff thing not knowing with whom you may confer to about your diagnosis,but keep inmind those who you do talk with be sure they are going to be supportive,you need it now for your emottional well being.there are some good people here,although sometimes some bad,but thats life,we learn how to deal with some tuff situations and deceissinos as well,and we learn of survival,how to cope and best of all,learn how to keep on loving life.dont get to enamoured in the test results,live on.hope i helpped you in some way,take care.be strong

Edited by alive2 (12/23/07 07:01 AM)

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dotman32
Member

Reged: 12/16/07
Posts: 39
Loc: Boston, MA
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234726 - 12/28/07 07:48 PM

Hi everyone,
Wanted to take a moment and thank you all for your support the past couple weeks. Still haven't been able to bring myself to read much about HIV on this site since being diagnosed, but I''ve found these message boards to be incredibly helpful. Everyone has been so kind and supportive. I really appreciate all the support. It's been 2 and a half weeks and I'm doing much better. Certainly not without my moments !! But not feeling more hopeful about my future.

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TRex
Regular

Reged: 01/09/07
Posts: 129
Loc: California, USA
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12 new
      #234729 - 12/28/07 09:00 PM

Dot..you will read things when you are ready. Its ok. You are entitled to every feeling and emotion you have..don't ever let anyone tell you that you are not. We are all here for you if you need anything.
Bernie (1 year out)

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dealin_wit_it
New User

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 12
Loc: hong kong
Re: Just Diagnosed 12/12
      #235035 - 01/08/08 10:40 PM

dotman, the very fact that you've come to this forum for support shows that you have the correct frame of mind. i'm coming up on 2 years as a member of the club and for the first 6 months, i crawled inside a bottle of jack, jim or johnny and felt sorry for myself. not a productive move. things turned around when my numbers dive bombed and i faced the reality that i would have to take meds and take better care of myself. i only had 1 friend i could turn to, and he was reaching his limits with me. so i found this site and joined a local support group. i do still visit with jack, jim and the others from time to time, but i've finally got my head around the fact that i'm not going to die tomorrow or in the next months, or the next few years. i will need to start meds one of the these days and that's not a bad thing. i will face social stigma but i will need to learn to deal with that. everyday gets better and better as long as you get this thing in perspective, i am going to live with this disease, it is not going to control me!

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