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aug27
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Newbie
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Reged: 07/31/07
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Posts: 1
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Loc: ny long island
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Afraid to tell my parents about my HIV
#229048 - 07/31/07 10:53 PM
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I have been HIV + since sept of 2005. I curently live at home with my parents and have not told them that I have HIV. It is getting harder and harder to do and I am getting more distant from them. I love them very much but I think it would absoulty destroy them and they would constantly be asking me questions and worried about me. What should I do?
Thanks
Aug
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telling my mom & dad was the hardest thing i had to do. it was harder than telling the man i had been with for 5 years. i had no idea or reason to believe i was HIV+. my parents live hundred of miles from me & i had to tell my mom over the phone. i heard my mom suck in her breath & start to sob uncontrollably. my heart was breaking. she had to hang up & call me back. my parents aren't exactly the worldliest of people.. for God sake, they just got cell phones a few months ago. they are a little older, my dad was 58 & my my was 51 at the time. their exposure to HIV was zero. i myself knew nothing about HIV.. except for the simple minded assumptions that, sadly, most people have. but educating myself, led to educating them. i read somewhere that if you can't lead by good example, you'll serve as a horrible warning. i wasn't living a bad life, i just was ignorant. i trusted someone i shouldn't have. but i had choices, choices i didn't make the right decisions to. but thru all of this, i know that my situation might just have bettered someone's life. and as horrible as HIV may seem, or actually be... i've enlightened some lives. i've opened some eyes. maybe i helped someone make the right decision. it can & does happen to anyone. it's not a dirty disease. it's unforunate situation that can happen to anyone. telling anyone is a hard thing to do, but not giving someone the opportunity to be there, to understand, and love you thru it is harder. don't be ashamed of you HIV status, that' the stigma we all fight & struggle to disban. you're parents will worry about you & ask how your doing BECAUSE they love you.. HIV or no HIV.
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SA_Intellect
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Guru
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Reged: 03/27/06
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Posts: 247
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Loc: San Antonio, Texas
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I think you should just come out and tell them. They will probably be upset that you didn't tell them before. YOu can invite them with you to your next doctor appointment, so they can ask questions of the doctor too.
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i remember when i first said it... it was like everything was in slow motion. seemed like it took 500 years for the words to come out of my mouth. i've only told a handful of people.. people who need to know. everyone else just thinks i've got some sort of medical issue. i've only had 1 person walk out of my life. but good riddance to old trash. guess i didn't need him around anyway. looking back, some of the looks that friends made were kinda funny. no, i'm not making light of the situation, let's remember that i am living with this too.. and i realize i have been blessed & very fortunate to have so much support from friends & family that do know. but i'm not a sick person, i'm not ashamed, i'm living with a medical condition, not a death sentence. i'm choosing to live, to fight & to make the best of what time i do have. tell them, let them love you & worry about you. like you love & worry about them because they're your mom & dad. it's only human nature to worry. it's what we do best.. well, that & make a mess of the environment. LOL!
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oldwoman
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Guardian
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Reged: 05/12/07
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Posts: 435
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Loc: Phila,Pa
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Give the them chance to understand what you are going through, you say that it is getting harder and harder to tell them and you are getting more distant from them.Do not kid yourself that they don't notice that something is wrong with you or between you and them.As far as them worrying about you,well parents will always worry about their children.My Grandma is 95 and still worries about my Mom who is 72,it's part of being a parent.Be prepared to give them some facts about HIV and answer any questions they have,they may need some time to take it all in but I'm willing to bet they would rather know the truth than wonder why things are getting cold between you and them.
I told my parents when I was first diagnosed,they were already worried that that was what was wrong with me so it came as a relief to have it out in the open.Of course this is only my experience.I hope things work out as well for you.
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Survivor
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Legend
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Reged: 10/30/05
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Posts: 3256
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Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
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If I were your parent and you did not tell me, I would be sad that you could not trust me... This is not some dirty secret you are harboring. This is a deadly virus which could effect your health. Hopefully not, but being honest and open about this will make a big difference on the weight you are carrying my friend..
My parents are my biggest cheerleaders and hugely supportive.
Just Sayin,
Eric
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Look into yourself and trust your feelings. My parents dont know anything becouse i just dont want to make there lifes more dificult that already is. I got the virus in 95 and aids in 98, but now im undetectable and still strong and fighting!
--------------------
Bodybuilder, Powerlifter and Weighlifter
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mine too.... i couldn't imagine going thru this without their support.
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