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pozMalcontent
Newbie

Reged: 05/09/07
Posts: 2
Sex after AIDS
      #227014 - 05/09/07 06:06 AM

Hi folks!

Since my diagnosis (nearly four years ago), I have had problems with physical intimacy. My partner of 15 years is still negative and we would like to keep it that way. Whenever it comes to being intimate (not even sex, really) I tense up. My partner doesn't have the same reservations and things between us are becoming uncomfortable. At this point, we are only having sex about once a month (and I feel really uncomfortable the whole time). I don't think it is simply fear of passing on the virus, as I get tense even when he just wants to cuddle or miss me. Has anyone else gone through this and come out the other side relatively like they were pre-diagnosis? I'm afraid that this is going to result in the end of my relationship.

Thanks,
Michael

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trinihiver
Newbie

Reged: 04/27/06
Posts: 1
Loc: Trinidad and Tobago
Re: Sex after AIDS new
      #227033 - 05/10/07 09:00 PM

Hello pozMalcontent. Haven't been on this site for quite sometime and only checked in today after some months and saw your post which spoke so much to me and what I went through after diagnosis.
My partner of two years was with me when I was diagnosed. We were just some months into our relationship when we found out. He is negative.
Our sex life and intimacy deteriorated dramatically after my diagnosis and it was not on account of him. He was the one who actually tried initiating sex or intimacy while I was the one pushing him away or being unable to perform.
Part of that had to do with me being afraid of infecting him while there was a part of me that felt dirty, unworthy and unnattractive. I did not want to be touched but it was more subconscious than concious.
Things became better over time. I suppose with some it may take longer than with us. We now have sex almost as regularly as pre-diagnosis. We still have our struggles but we are working on it.
Btw - I am 35 and he is 20. Be strong and be open with your partner about your feelings.

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pozMalcontent
Newbie

Reged: 05/09/07
Posts: 2
Re: Sex after AIDS new
      #227115 - 05/15/07 02:50 AM

Hi trinihiver. Thank you. Feels good to hear that.

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DJ2007
Newbie

Reged: 11/13/07
Posts: 5
Loc: New England .. MA
Re: Sex after AIDS new
      #233553 - 11/14/07 08:30 AM

Im going thru the same thing... Im more nervous than my partner is... I was just diagnosed in May, but as it turns out i was probably positive for about 4 years prior.... My partner thinks we should continue with unsafe sex because if he hasnt gotten it by now he wont... I cant get it out of my mind so sex for me has been pretty much over... Lately he has been pressuring me, iv started meds, i told him that we would discuss it once my viral load is 0.


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worried09
Regular

Reged: 02/03/10
Posts: 27
Re: Sex after AIDS new
      #249292 - 02/03/10 01:55 PM

Sometimes i fill the same way I love to have sex but i'm afraid to touch my wife(not infected)it's like when u haven't done something for a long time u foget how to get them in the mood.It's like this is the first time we have been together it's like i don't know what to do,it's like i'm afraid of her.

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