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bertuccio
New User

Reged: 03/18/07
Posts: 14
Loc: Colorado
Don't want to talk about it.
      #226345 - 03/30/07 05:02 PM

I find myself being really reluctant to even want to think about the fact that I am poz, much less wanting to talk about it. My wife has given me a phone number of her mentor (who works for the Lighthouse Project, I think) and I am very apprehensive about calling her. I wonder why? I have done a fair amount of research about this topic in the past, due to a large paper I wrote on HIV for college. I wonder if the information that I possess is stopping me from reaching out to others because maybe I feel like I know more than they do or something like that. I don't know; my miind is all messed up right now. I guess I am just not wanting to talk about it because it seems that talking about it is going to make me remember. I will always know that I am poz, but I don't see too much of a point to bringing it to the forefront of my thoughts. I wonder if this is something that other people have thought or felt as well?

I know that talking about it with people who have been there and done that is very beneficial, but I can't seem to get motivated to do so. Any advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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daisey6205
Veteran

Reged: 09/08/05
Posts: 1091
Loc: kansas
Re: Don't want to talk about it. new
      #226351 - 03/30/07 09:39 PM

eventually talking about it will help. everyone has to deal with things in their own way and in their own time. nothing seems to come easily, except for contracting this dam disease.
when you are ready to talk, you and only you can decide when the time is right for you. i know you have to be consumed and overwhelmed by it right now and talking right now will seem like adding insult to injury. take some time to deal however you need to. when you are ready to talk about it you will find the healing that you need.
no one knows the hurt that you personally feel from all of this, so it is easy for all of us to give you advice about what we think you should do to "deal", but until you figure out what the best course is for you none of our advice is going to work. only you can make the decision that is best fitted for your needs.
we are all here if you need to vent or just talk.
prayers,
daisey

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James1941
Member

Reged: 12/05/06
Posts: 97
Loc: Victoria, Australia
Re: Don't want to talk about it. new
      #226361 - 03/31/07 07:21 AM

"I guess I am just not wanting to talk about it because it seems that talking about it is going to make me remember". Sorry mate, the fact that you posted here means that you do want to talk about it. "talking about it is going to make me remember"? Seems to me that you remember it every minute of every hour of every day.

Here you get every type of support that you need. From Daisy, a very loving caring person through to me who is a hard bastard. I will not give 'motherhood statements', only what I see as the truth. Before you read the rest of this reply re-read what I just say = I am a hard bastard. You want to read the rest of my advice??? Keep reading. You a wimp? Best STOP reading NOW.


Rest of my advice = nowhere in your post did I see 'HIV' admit that you got "HIV" "HIV" HIV", then you can start to deal with it. Trust me, it really is not so bad. In some ways is same like cold and flu. Have a cold every year, can develop into flu. Same with HIV, sometimes can develop into AIDS, most times it does NOT. Main difference, colds go away, HIV does not = big fucking deal, I got an itch on my bum that won't go away. Is it going to kill me? Not a hope in hell and HIV is NOT going to kill me either, just like it won't kill you.

Have I been hard enough for tonight?

Hang in there mate, have fun and live for tomorrow.

James

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bertuccio
New User

Reged: 03/18/07
Posts: 14
Loc: Colorado
Re: Don't want to talk about it. new
      #226364 - 03/31/07 12:45 PM

Alright James. I don't think that was so hard, you can do better than that, can't you. HAHA! I appreciate the honesty. I do like to talk about it here because it is a safe place. Kind of like AA. I attended AA because I knew that whatever I might be going through, someone else had experienced the same thing, or worse. I DO HAVE HIV AND WILL HAVE HIV FOREVER, but it IS NOT going to control my life. Thank you again for your advice/suggestion. I look forward to seeing how hard you can be in the future.

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James1941
Member

Reged: 12/05/06
Posts: 97
Loc: Victoria, Australia
Re: Don't want to talk about it. new
      #226372 - 04/01/07 04:46 AM

Yes, I can be a lot harder. Because it was your first post I take it a bit easy. Try posting another wimp like your first one you find out just how hard I can be.

Your answer was a lot better, yes, it is safe to post here, it is comfortable to talk about IT IT IT. Lots of answers, lots of support. There are a few dickheads and denialists get here now and then, you soon recognise them. The dickheads, just ignore. The denialists, just offer to have unprotected sex with them, see how strong their beliefs are.

We are all in the same boat, we all got HIV, talk about it and your concerns, you get good replies.

James

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