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Anonymous
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hiv
      #220736 - 01/04/07 08:22 AM

need help here have been positive for 10 months, on meds doing great, how do i go about forgiving myself for being so careless to getting it and how do i let go of the anger? i know sounds silly but am stuck here at this point, thx guys

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Anonymous
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Re: hiv new
      #220737 - 01/04/07 08:43 AM

I think most of us have been where you are. Not only do we have to fight the preconceived notions of the general population about people living with HIV, but we have to fight ourselves. You've taken the first step. You recognize what's going on. You see the need to forgive yourself and let go of the anger.

I'm not sure if I really have any concrete advice to give you. It's been 10 years for me and at this point I'm pretty OK with myself. You will be too.

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tdb
Newbie

Reged: 01/04/07
Posts: 2
Loc: California
Re: HIV new
      #220755 - 01/04/07 12:33 PM

March 07 will be Poz 15 years.
Everyone with HIV goes through the 7 stages of morning. Anger is one of them. I did and now I still get a bout of anger once in a while, I also get on my pitty pot until someone knocks me off of it. Do pray on it. Not a long drawn out prayer, just talking to God like anyone else. There does seem to be peace in it. I also look at it as a new lease on life. Instead of doing everything I wasn't supposed to do, I changed and try to do everything to live and not die. My Motto is " I refuse to die from AIDS". Its a good motto to have. You should know that HIV changes serotonin and dopamine levels and that causes depression. Ask for an antidepressant., don't be shy about it. Don't consume sugar(it makes the virus stronger) and don't take alternative medicine like ginko, econasia, garlic, or St Johns wort, it will remove the medication from your blood and you will become resistant to your medication. Remember that your here for a reason, so focus your attention on something important to you and stop worrying about it. Worry accomplishes nothing and stress cause cortisol to build up and change things for the worse.Try to love life for each and every day. After 15 years I like to teach ordinary people wherever I am, about the virus and its effects, and how to be safe. Take your multi vitamin and B12 stress complex. I also take odorless fish oil. For diarrhea use Sugar free Metamucil it forms into bulk instead of liquid and slows it way down. The pills cause constipation, after 2 or 3 days it becomes diarrhea again to correct the constipation. Sometimes you do have to take the pills. Pedialyte helps during those times or you will become very weak. I have actually needed help getting off the toilet because of weakness. Don't get upset about things like that. There is a common sense remedy thats safe for problems like this. Join as many HIV newsletters as possible to keep yourself educated. Be strong and keep your spirits up. There are allot of us and your not alone.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: HIV new
      #220850 - 01/05/07 08:25 AM

hey thx for the words its been ruff, i guess why i kinda stress is im a RN in a busy city ER , and i should have known better, thx for the tips and appreciate your words of kindness

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TRex
Master

Reged: 01/09/07
Posts: 129
Loc: California, USA
Re: hiv new
      #221247 - 01/10/07 03:40 AM

I am newly diagnosed positive and somewhat where you are. I tell myself that being angry at myself is negative energy. We can kick ourselves into next year but what is it going to change? The HIV isn't going to go away. SO, I would suggest trying to focus on the positive. You say you are doing well.. lots of points for that. So...dress nicely, put on your lipstick (I think you are a female?)...go do things you like. Spend time with your friends; get rid of any high maintenance people that drag you down. Concentrate on living.. and doing that well. Be pro-active in your care and accept every step as an accomplishment..move on from there. the part I see that is most difficult is the society "stigma" on HIV.... I had cancer a few years and everyone rallied around me...I have HIV now and I'm afraid to tell anyone. who can figure all that?
It may not make you feel better that many of us are in the same boat...but we can all paddle together for positive results.

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RevAnn
Guru

Reged: 08/17/06
Posts: 245
Loc: fort myers, florida
Re: hiv new
      #221248 - 01/10/07 04:10 AM

I agree with TRex. I will just add that most people let others who don't know squat, get them down. Ignore the "stigma", It comes from ignorance and I find that if you ignore it, it wont get you down, but if you are like me and many others, when you here ignorance you stand up and educate any that will listen. Trust me when I say it is not as bad as it was in the 80's!
Good luck and stay strong..

--------------------
Namu-Myoho-Renge-Kyo

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TRex
Master

Reged: 01/09/07
Posts: 129
Loc: California, USA
Re: HIV new
      #221357 - 01/10/07 09:10 PM

I am also an RN in a busy city. I just found out I am positive. Haven't started on HAART yet..waiting for genotype. Its tough even in our profession. Feel free to send me a private message anytime if you want to chat with another nurse.
B.

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