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Anonymous
Unregistered

Self Destructing Fast
      #217305 - 12/07/06 03:27 AM

I have been HIV positive for 7 years. I was in a relationship with a man who turned out to be negative at the time I found out. This was in 2000. This man is very emotionally and physically abusive. I have tried many times to leave but have never been able to stop myself from going back.

I am terrifed of being alone with this disease. I am miserable to think of being with a neggie and infecting him. I am just caught in a long and painful struggle with this relationship and I cant figure my way out.

Can anyone relate?

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Jmiami
Unregistered

Re: Self Destructing Fast new
      #217342 - 12/07/06 11:44 AM

The first thing to do is to get out of this abusive relationship. Start making a plan to get out (i.e. temporarily living with friends/family, getting a restraining order against him, etc). The stress of being in such a relationship WILL affect your immune system badly. Try to find a HIV + support group close to your area - there are tons of resources out there including the website. You need to go to some sort of counseling, abusive people try to break you emotionally and spiritually. The fear of being alone is super common but being with an abusive someone just for that reason is not good. Abusers will escalate, don't wait till he bashes your head in or kills you. Giving him HIV accidently is the least of your worries - good luck!

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Choosing2Liv
Legend

Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 581
Loc: South
Re: Self Destructing Fast new
      #217378 - 12/07/06 04:30 PM

[quote] The stress of being in such a relationship WILL affect your immune system badly. [/quote]

My numbers have steadily gotten worse, and my doctor feels that it is because of an emotionally abusive marriage. You've got to take care of yourself. If the person is not willing to change, then you need to get out before it's too late.

(I'm not only writing this for you but also for myself.)

Best of luck to you!
Gary

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survivor4me
Member

Reged: 06/09/06
Posts: 19
Re: Self Destructing Fast new
      #217472 - 12/07/06 08:10 PM

kind of. kind of not.

just diagnosed june 1. (25th anniversary of aids. )

My partner is neg... but WONDERFULL. I don't deserve him but am also terrified about doing this ALONE! I think there may be places for us to go to support each other, but I dont know. Im in the SE and am 49 years old. I did some stupid things the last 2 yrs and I'm paying for them I guess. Hoping for a cure every day. My meds have been tricky, i'm been kind of ill considering the length of my infection.

anyway... not to bore you.

I hear you from the aspect of being alone. You are not alone, there are others out there. support groups, other infected people and hopefully some all gay homesteads. You do not deserve to spend the rest of your days in an abusive relationship. You need to enjoy the quality and quanitity of life you have left. You need to focus on YOU!
Who knows you might even find another partner. even and HIV+ person. As for sex, i'm not even interested any longer. imagine that! I just want to live.

I'm not advocating leaving him until you are ready or have to. Have you both tried therapy?

I can't say whether to go or stay.... because I'm thinking I should leave my wonderfull partner only to spare him the days/hours and months of fighting this disease. Its not fair to him.

Let me know if i can help you?

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Self Destructing Fast new
      #217686 - 12/08/06 10:08 PM

listen you dont have to put up with anyones bullshit, i found out that i was positive 3 months ago. my boyfreind was there for me through it all, i mean he promised me that he would never cheat, and i told him that i can afford to get reinfected or catch any other kinda STD, he promised me that he never would. a month ago i kinda suspected my boyfriend was cheating but never questioned it, i didnt leave because i was scared to be by myself and thought that no one would ever want to be with me cause of my illness. then two days ago i found out that he was infact cheating on me. i packed up and left that night. im stressed enough as it is i dont need something like this on top of what i am going through and so dont you. you dont need to be with that dude stress is the last thing you need. trust me just leave!!!!be a man

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alivehoping
Legend

Reged: 04/05/06
Posts: 655
Re: Self Destructing Fast new
      #217781 - 12/10/06 05:45 AM

first thing i feel you should do is get out of a relationship if its abusive,it will hinder your health in more ways than one.if your worrying about infecting ,dont worry so much as you should use safe sex practices and if done properly you will not harm anyone.you should find a support group,you need to think of your health first and not being alone so much,because if i were in a position that your in my mind and body health come first,and to be in a caring inviorment is very important for you.i have been +,since may 04 that i know of,and all my children are ok and my wife also,and we never used protection,so i can relate to a few things your going through.my only concern for you is the safty of yourself,and getting away from abuse its not right for anyone at all to have to deal with it.good luck,take care

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Self Destructing Fast new
      #219302 - 12/20/06 04:07 PM

TRY GOD.

A.S.K.
Ask and it shall be given to you
Seek and ye shall find
Knock and the door will be opened

So many people don't know who this loving father is. It might be a good idea if you check him out. He's located in the 'HOLY BIBLE' - most stores carry it. or try www.notreligion.com or call 888-NEED HIM, someone there would like to speak to you. Come as you are.

If you have fear of being alone then you should know that he'll never leave you and he wants you to know that. Consider it please. 'It's not about religion, its about a relatinoship."

As for the abuse, you or no one deserves that. Sometimes the only way we can conquer fear is facing it. Take the next step.
Stress does threaten you immune system with this diease.




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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Self Destructing Fast new
      #220710 - 01/04/07 04:44 AM

You need to get out of that relationship.My ex was very abusive and he also gave me HIV knowing he had it.Real piece of work.You must leave him cuz you will never be happy.If someone loves you they don't hurt you.You deserve better.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Self Destructing Fast new
      #221806 - 01/12/07 04:02 AM

You must get out of this unhealthy relationship.My ex boyfriend 6 yrs ago abused me and infected me.It was the worst relationship.It's better to be alone than abused.I hope you make the right decison.

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