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please experinced people help me :'(
      #205278 - 08/29/06 01:55 AM

I am really sorry i posted this here, eventhough i posted it in am i infected? but i didnt get many answers there, plus i know the people who come here are more knowledgable than the people on am i infected who r usually looking for answers, so please accept my apology for reposting here. I need answer and advice please from all the HIV experts here who are educated in the HIV science..
I have really been living a nightmare for the past 3 months, i posted in a couple of websites, but would like the feedback from the knowledgable people here. I am gonna make this short.
The exposures(3 to 4 times) prolonged french kissing, mutual masterbation (twice)with a girl of unknown status (but a high risk group) , i have periodontal disease and chronic gingivitis but no bleeding, her mouth was healthy as i checked it. I inserted 2 to 3 fingers deep inside her for long time and rubbed vigorously, i was careful not to touch my penis with the same hand,i washed right after.
I wouldnt have worried about it, but got symptoms after 2 weeks.
Sore throat, difficulty swallowing,diarrhea,loss of appetite, 10 pounds weight loss, sever abdominal pain and tenderness over my liver and spleen area.also white tongue , also 2 or 3 times woke up with night sweats and had chills.all that lasted 2 weeks, i saw a doc around that time but never mentioned my concerns, she gave me a z pack and said it is probably viral!! and thats about it. she said my throat looked normal and i had no swollen nodes in my neck.
after these symptoms resolved (which is by the way the worst flu like sickness i ever had) i started having pain in my axillary lymph nodes, still neck tightness and muscle pains on and off, also on and off pain/strange discomfort in my groin. that lasted 2 weeks, then after 4 weeks of the initial symptoms (6 weeks after exposure) had a swollen lymph node in my neck (under my left ear on the jaw line, and one on the right side that was smaller, they have been there for almost 7 weeks now, also i am feeling other several nodes in my neck swollen , no lumps in groin, but my armpit still hurts from time to time.
I am now convinced I cotracted HIV ,i had every symptom in the book ARS and swollen nodes, i also went to a planned parenthood to get tested, the doctor told me i didnt need HIV testing, he did CBC, CMP and syphylis, which all came back negative. I know symptoms are not reliable to diagnose hiv, but comeon, this cant all be a co incidence!! i also failed to mention having mouth/canker sores (4 of them at a time) in my mouth and my upper gum.
Now , i will go get tested coz i know i got it, everyone still tells me , symptoms dont mean anything, noone ever got it from kissing or mutual masterbation, not even with gingivitis, bla bla, am i suppose to believe all those people? or believe my symptoms!! I am going crazy as i have a family that will be destroyed if i found out i am infected. I have been getting a lot of support online from the folks on healingwell, aidsmeds, also Dr. BOb and Dr. H on medhelp told me no risk , so as all the folks on hw and aidsmeds, but I am really really scared and cant even imagine being infected. am I really sick? or there si something else goin on? is it mono? what about those nodes that are swollen? it is weird that they didnt swell when i had my intial symptoms, but they still swoll in the 6 weeks mark post exposure, which is not so far from the typical ARS timing. I am scared ,freaked out and numb. I dont know what to do.someone please give me advice...thanx

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Re: please experinced people help me :'( new
      #205286 - 08/29/06 03:42 AM

You sound real upset about this possible exposure you think youve had. One thing Id like to say to maybe comfort you..we always think after our actions (maybe some people). It sounds like you dont have hiv BUT you THINK you do. Its all in your head. Its a shame for people to worry so much and not live and be free. Go take a warm bath xoxo

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Reged: 01/25/05
Posts: 398
Loc: FTL, Florida
Re: please experinced people help me :'( new
      #205288 - 08/29/06 03:51 AM

It seems you may have convinced yourself that you have been infected. Though, the only way you will know is when you get tested. Only time will tell.

However, from the actions you described, you didn't get infected by this particular person.

Get tested, conclusively, to ease your own mind.

The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

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Re: please experinced people help me :'( new
      #205308 - 08/29/06 08:24 AM

How many websites and how many times are you going to keep posting this?

An apology doesn't make your actions right. You say you haven't received many answers. You've had lots of answers to this question, here and elsewhere. The answer doesn't change. You don't get infected from kissing and mutual masterbation. Now go do something about those mental issues that keep you from understanding that.

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Reged: 07/30/06
Posts: 79
Loc: toronto
Re: please experinced people help me :'( new
      #205347 - 08/29/06 03:34 PM

well for one thing, these symptoms you are describing are so close to the time of what you call "risky behaviour" it is highly, HIGHLY unlikely that they are HIV related. Your mind is very powerful and if you fear something so dramatically and with such intensity, it may well cause the symptoms to occur, psycologically, you feel them, physically the symptoms are there and evident, but they are brought on by your mind and the stress that's placed on it. I've read your post carefully - while no one can guarantee anybody that they are negative - I highly doubt that you are infected from what you have described - the symptoms, could be that of anything else, especially from your own worry and grief - get tested and you will breathe much easier. Oh, and by the way - we that have tested positive are not freaking out like you and have come to terms with it and will live. So would you. If this response gives you some comfort, don't decide that a test isn't necessary, take the test and you'll truly have no doubt.

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