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Choosing2Liv
Legend

Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 581
Loc: South
"Escape From HIV Day"
      #192242 - 05/19/06 11:10 AM

Hello Everyone-

Over the past month, my life has been absorbed with hiv testing, hiv education, hiv posting, hiv disclosure, hiv blaming/shaming.... UGH!!! I need a day to escape!

I found myself getting jealous of Char who hung out with nuns last weekend. ("Show me the convent!) :)

Well, Memorial Day weekend is almost here, and I want to plan an "Escape From HIV Day." If you have any suggestions of places to go or activities to do to get one's mind off of their status, I would sincerely appreciate hearing about them. I'm suffering from HIV overload!

-Gary

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nwdoug
Regular

Reged: 04/18/06
Posts: 31
Re: "Escape From HIV Day" new
      #192248 - 05/19/06 11:25 AM

How about treating yourself to a day at the your local spa? Manicure, pedicure, massage, facial etc... The whole package!!! I do that at least once or twice a year and it's really worth it!!

Just a thought :)

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: "Escape From HIV Day" new
      #192262 - 05/19/06 12:26 PM

I have been pos for probably about 1 year, known about it since positive test in Dec 2005, don't need meds yet due to good labs.
But...a day doesn't go by that I'm not THINKING about being HIV positive...does this ever stop? I'd love to just forget I'm HIV pos for a couple of days. Those out there who are our VETERANS, doing well on or off meds for years, do you eventually stop THINKING about the fact you're poz? I don't mean missing doctor or lab appointments or forgetting to take meds.

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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: "Escape From HIV Day" new
      #192269 - 05/19/06 01:30 PM

Well, I am told it gets easier with time. Of course your going to think about "it" from time to time. It hard not to with all the Stigma associated with "it". When you catch yourself roominating about hiv, make a mental note that this is not the way to be thinking "stinken thinkin" and pull yourself out of that thought.... I am one to talk. Here I am at 9 months and almost at 2000 posts here. I could learn alot from the older crew who have been dealing... Being on the pitty pot is not where I want to be for forever....

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shadow1
Legend

Reged: 12/06/00
Posts: 1209
Re: "Escape From HIV Day" new
      #192295 - 05/19/06 03:59 PM

any theme park in the USA, you will forget and have a bunch of fun, or the county fair.

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ny10001
Grand Master

Reged: 07/08/05
Posts: 199
Loc: New York
Re: "Escape From HIV Day" new
      #192310 - 05/19/06 04:35 PM

I've known for about 1.5 years. I have to say that 1 year was the turning point for me. Yes, sometimes it comes up, but it no longer consumes my thoughts, and I'm able to brush it away quite quickly.

I'm also happy to say that I finally turned that corner after a little over a year of not thinking of myself as different from others, I don't ever feel sexually inadequate anymore because of it. If you've known for about a year, you're probably just about to turn the corner.

So yes...it does get better. Feels like a non-issue at this point.

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Choosing2Liv
Legend

Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 581
Loc: South
Great Suggestions! new
      #192313 - 05/19/06 05:10 PM

thanks for all of the good suggestions. i'll figure out which one to do before Memorial Day gets here (if i can last that long).

NYC, thanks for giving me hope that one day (even if it's a year from now) an hour will pass when i am not thinking about my status.

thanks again for your ideas. now i just have to figure out whether or not i want to go alone or take my kids with me, especially to the amusement park. if i do the spa day, it would definately be all about me. :) hmmmm.

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Stresser
Expert

Reged: 03/29/06
Posts: 117
Re: Great Suggestions! new
      #192333 - 05/19/06 09:58 PM

U could drive down to the beach or got to Hatteras... very peaceful there!! Have great spas and relaxation spots as well!! Hope U R doing better!!!

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AIDS2HIV
Unregistered

Post deleted by Becky new
      #192334 - 05/19/06 10:14 PM



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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: "Escape From HIV Day" new
      #192362 - 05/20/06 10:36 AM

Gary....In response to the ORIGINAL post....... Is this a getaway for you or for you and the wife>? If its for the two of you I would go to Myrtle Beach or somewhre where you can walk on the beach and have some yummy seafood and hushpuppies....something I truly miss here in Philly.
Now, if you are runnig off by yourself and want a good time.lol, I'd go to Atlanta or FtLauderdale or if you really want a stretch....Provincetown.....or Palm Springs Calif.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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ScotCharles
Legend

Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 924
Loc: Los Angeles
Vegas, Baby! new
      #192366 - 05/20/06 11:09 AM

Vegas baby, nothing like losing a bunch of money and eating a cheap buffet to clear out the cobwebs. The fountains at the Bellagio are great and the new Aladdin is a hoot.

Once you've done that head out to Bonnie Springs Ranch outside town, to see a really, stupid show put on by a pack of outrageous gay cowboys in a mock western town. Then afterwards a hike through the Valley of Fire to see thousand year old petroglyphs.

The Wayne Newton show is cheap, easy to get into and an unselfconcious send up of all that is tacky in Las Vegas. The show "O" at the Bellagio is tres cher, but the boys are gorgeous!

Vegas is my best bet for a short weekend. The pool at Caesar's is the best in Vegas and is always stocked with muscular guys from Jersey. If things get too hot, head to Mount Charleston for cooler weather in the mouth of an extinct volcano.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

I don't do "straight", but the girls at the Caesar's pool are gorgeous, and generally drunk and slutty. You can still find naked breasts in the shows even in the newly "family friendly Las Vegas".

I know you are straight married, as I remember, but every engine needs a spark to get the motor running........

--------------------
Life is a river.
Carpe diem.

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Choosing2Liv
Legend

Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 581
Loc: South
Get Away or Running Off? new
      #192373 - 05/20/06 12:08 PM

Well Bear, I think I really need some time to myself. Taking my wife along would only keep me up tight wondering if she will get upset if something triggers thoughts of my unfaithfulness or her pain. I want to get away from drama, not take it with me.

On the other hand, I don't think I want to "run off for a good ole time" (as you put it...lol). Feeling alone, rejected by my wife, and in a strange place with partying people is one of the things that got me in the mess that I'm now in. (In short, NO SOLO ATL VISITS FOR ME.) :)

I just want to be selfish for a day or even a couple of hours. I don't want to think about pleasing my wife & family, my boss, my church members, or any one else. I also don't want to spend time thinking about my status and current state in life. I just want to find a place where there are good thoughts & warm vibes and loose myself in them. (Does that make sense?)

-G

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Choosing2Liv
Legend

Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 581
Loc: South
Wise Sayings new
      #192374 - 05/20/06 12:29 PM

A2H-

Thanks for your comments. As much as I would rather not hear some of them, they are words of wisdom that I should remember. In fact, I think I might have to print out some cards with encouraging sayings.

Here are some of yours that I will include:

[quote] there is no rules in the handbook, that says, you arent allowed to simply start your day over whenever you feel the need too....

.....you are gonna have good days, and you are gonna have bad days,...with or without hiv.

When things get "bad" for you, simply step back, take moment just for yourself, and start your day over....

.....you cant run, or hide, and regardless of how much fun ya line up, you arent gonna forget your status, it just dont work that way.

....do things to build your mind, and your spirit, that usually means, work some more on self.

....You know youve worked enough when your worst day with HIV, is better than your best day was, without it

....sure we gotta go through the rain to get to the sunshine, but no one says ya arent allowed to dance in that rain!

.....dont try to forget about your status* You either grow with it, on its terms...or you make it grow with you, on your terms.

....sink or swim, but floating, leads to sinking [/quote]

Did you become so smart AFTER you became infected. If so, that's one side effect I will welcome. :)

-Gary

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: Get Away or Running Off? new
      #192390 - 05/20/06 04:06 PM

I dont know Gary....I did some of my best thinking in a bar full of people partying. Its like being in a big city....a million people all around you but you are all alone.
Some people like to sit and watch a pretty sunset; me, I like to sit and chat with a total stranger.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Choosing2Liv
Legend

Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 581
Loc: South
Re: Get Away or Running Off?
      #192554 - 05/22/06 09:40 AM

[quote] ...I did some of my best thinking in a bar full of people partying. I like to sit and chat with a total stranger. [/quote]

That's an interesting concept that just might work. Frankly, I knew no one on this site when I signed on, but I honestly beleive that I would not have made it without help from new friends like you. If the day ever comes when I get to meet some of you in person, it would be like getting together with an old college or war-time friend. You guys have helped me as I educated myself and as I went through one of the roughest battles of my life. I owe several of you a big "Bear Hug." (Pun intended!)

No matter where I decide to go, I think I might follow your suggestion and find a place with some friendly folks to talk to. (Hopefully, they won't be TOO friendly.)

-Gary

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