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Disclosure - Round #1
#189007 - 05/02/06 10:23 AM
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Hello MY Friends,
There is an old song by Tony Orlando that talks about guy who invites a girl to “tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree,” if she still loved him. The climax of the song is when he rounds the bin and sees a hundred yellow ribbons tied on the tree. Well, this morning I got a sense of how he must have felt, when I signed on and not only saw responses to my original post but also a post dedicated to sending love my way. It feels so good to be loved and cared for. You’ve put me at a loss for words, and that’s a feat that very few have accomplished.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Last night I was finally able to share the news about my infidelity. My wife was deeply hurt, disappointed and somewhat upset – but not uncontrollably angry. I was prepared to kick myself out of the house, but she informed me that she did not want me to leave “our home.” Those were the sweetest words I’ve heard in a long time. She forgave me, but told me that I needed to get some professional help, so that I can understand why I did what I did. I am extremely grateful that I was given another chance and that I’ve made it through Round #1.
Either later today or sometime tomorrow, I will begin the next phase of my disclosure. I will insist that both of us should be tested for everything (STDs, HIV, etc.). At that time, I will not divulge my status or tell her that I’ve already tested, unless she specifically asks. Not immediately revealing my status would help her avoid having to go through the agonizing waiting period that many of us have had to experience. Please join me in praying that I will be able to convince her into testing and that her results will be negative. Once her results are in, I will fully disclose my status, and will go from there.
Thank you again for helping me through this heart wrenching period of my life. In a strange sort of way, musing about my status has taken a backseat to caring for my wife and family. Over the last couple of weeks, you’ve helped me accept the fact that I CAN live a full life with my disease. Now, I plan to do everything I can to make ensure that my family is a part of that life.
With deepest appreciation for your support & friendship,
-Gary
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ItsFaith
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Legend
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Reged: 10/17/05
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Posts: 1329
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Gary, I'm so glad your wife was forgiving. Hopefully that will be the hardest part of the disclosure. I will pray so very hard that her testing comes out negative! God Bless you and your family. Congratulations on displaying such courage and strength. We are all here for you.
Faith
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Stresser
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Expert
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Reged: 03/29/06
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Gary.... I am very proud of U. Deep in your heart u know u will make it THROUGH. I will continue to keep U and your family in my thoughts and prayers....... The one thing I would tell U is not to let your guard down on your own health. U need to keep yourself in good health and continue to visit the doctors. I know your family is most important to U at this time but u need to take care of yourself for them and most importantly for yourself!!! Take care my friend!!1
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DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR WIFE COMING DOWN WITH FLU LIKE SYMPTOMS?
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I know that things are going to be ok for you and your wife. I will send up really strong prayers that your wife is negative. I am extremely happy that she forgive you for the affair. I agree with the decison to not tell about your status until after hers. It is already a stressful time. Just be careful about wearing yourself out over this. It will be ok. God bless you.
Charlene
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HIV is a part of me, but it does not define me!!!
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Survivor
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Legend
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Reged: 10/30/05
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Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
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Gary, I personally like your approach to a very delicate situation. Would I trade you and be in your shoes? God no! You are an extremly smart and brave man and I applaud you for your disclosure process... As far as getting help, sure, if you need to. I think in the past month you have probably already found alot of yourself in this mess. Know this, you are not alone and your situation can be found through the history of time. This is nothing new and many before you have trudged their way to happy destiny in shoes such as yours. Keep taking baby steps through this process and rush NOTHING! Time is on your side. Pat yourself on the back for coming this far. Breath, pray and be humble..
Love Always,
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Bear60
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Reged: 12/21/05
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Gary....... You seem to be calm and collected. Thats a good sign. And yes...we were all sending love and positive energy your way. I want to say that I respect what you are doing. Its the RIGHT thing to do.
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6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia
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sadface
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Reged: 02/15/06
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I am so proud of you!!!
SF
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