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Yeary
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what keeps cd4 from moving up
      #177906 - 03/01/06 11:44 PM

I was told by my ID doc that my drug usage was not what was keeping my count from going back up He told my (ex)wife that he didn't think it would go back up from 8 because when we got it up to 35 and that took six months. He thought I had driven my body into the ground(his words, not mine)

He had wanted to do treatment for the hep c, maybe that keeps it from moving up. yes, I am very scared. It is a clinic sponsored by Ryan white program, they deal alot with hiv/aids, yet resistance testing has not been talked about, or cd8 iv'e heard about on here or that % whatever all of that is. Maybe they are not willing to do those things because of my relasping into drugs again.

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Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: what keeps cd4 from moving up new
      #177907 - 03/01/06 11:49 PM

Question?

How long have you been clean now? What is your vl load? I know you are saying your cd4 is 8?? Hep C treatment can keep your cd4's low for awhile as your body is dealing with two issues right now. Are you taking Bactrim for coverage of any lung infection while your cd4's are at this level.. Just wondering so I can understand your situation a bit more.

Love

Eric

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Re: what keeps cd4 from moving up new
      #178091 - 03/02/06 11:18 PM

hey Eric, I've only been clean a couple of weeks. I went out for a year, crack, smokin it. Actually I'm not on hep c treatment --- I just tripped out like the depression and hopeless feeling got me, so mentally I have not been stable in any way during this relapse. He doc, had got my cd4 up to 35, viral load was only 10,000, so that was good new, now my cd4 is 8 and he said he could not tell me what my viral load was. I do not know why, however, he sent me for ex-rays because I'm having bad pain in my back, above my hips going up into my ribs. He will take counts again in 10 weeks.
anyway, I was in jail two months, clean and used one time when I got out, I got kicked out of my women's and was staying basically in a rock house, but I was so burnt out on dope I tried not to keep chasing it, like the others were. It is either get clean or go back to prison. I don't want to go to the joint again, it is hard to stay clean with these circumstances, they put me on paxil and maybe that will help some. I really want to get my life back, God willing. I really believe He wants me to stay alive, I should of been dead years ago. I lived that street life in the ghetto in Chicago, shot, stabbed pos with hiv, heroin and needles, it has been a hell of a life. when I had my son I started wanting to change, it wasn't until I met this women I have been with the last 7 years that I was able to stay clean for this lenght of time. I know what life I may have and I hope to live a verylong time, depends on me staying clean. I know I need help, and I want it. my head has cleared up enough to at least be able to think a little straighter.
Thanks Eric. Did you get pos while in your sobriety? What happened with you?

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Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: what keeps cd4 from moving up new
      #178097 - 03/02/06 11:41 PM

Two weeks sober... Congradulations!! I will say this over and over.. Dont ever pick up. Your addiction will kill you before HIV. Make absolutely know mistake about this. With your cd4 count at 35, it cannot deal with any other external forces. It will fail and you will absolutely die. I want to be very clear on this.. You pickup, you die. You loose, end of story. You dont have any more second chances at this thing called life. You have run out. So with that you need to reach out, much like you are doing with me. You need to get a sponser and work these steps they have been talking about or you have heard. You have to want this for you. Not for someone else. For you. You have got to want to live. Keep talking with your God and trust me the power of prayer is huge.. "God grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot CHANGE, the COURAGE to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference. Say this to yourself 100 times a day.. On walks, everywhere. When you are this early in sobriety you have got to have someone to talk to. Paxil will help with you roominating about everyting but its not going to keep you from using. Remember, you use, you loose. And in your case, I am afraid that would be enough to close this chapter. You have heard this before I am sure... WORK the program, or let it work you.. You have every oportunity to live and get back to a life you once new. Trust me.. I know this road all to well....

For me, yes I was infected in sobriety. How is really unimportant and really unknowable. We were always safe, but not safe enough. I have taken my sobriety my hiv and I am going to make the very best life I know how to with my partner. I will not allow my addiction any power ever again. I will not allow this virus either to have any control over me. I will win and I will be the better for it....

Hows that??

Love and Best wishes to you...

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