Thoughts on Turning Fifty-One - TheBody.com's Bulletin Boards

My 51st birthday is tommorrow and this September I will be HIV+ for 22 years. I find it astounding that I, who was told at 29 to get ready to die, have lived this long.

A French aristocrat during The Terror after the French Revolution and who was soon to die by the guillotine wrote that "The contemplation of imminent death wonderfully concentrates the mind." I report that HIV has wonderfully concentrated my mind on the finding the Purpose of my Life.
My search for purpose has taken me to the four corners of the Earth, the depths of spiritual dispair, and now to this place in time. What lessons have I learned?

First, I believe that Love is the Prime Mover. Love brought Creation into being and is the root of the laws of the Universe. We are Love and though it is sometimes hidden by the Evil of this Apparent World, the Apparent is moved and governed by Love.

Second, Friendship is important. Friendship requires kindness, honesty, loyalty, and faithfulness. I have been truly blessed that for twenty-six years this March, I have had the Love and most importantly Friendship of a constant companion through Life's journey.

Third, I am thankful that my peasant forebears gave me a love of Nature and the Soil. The Cycle of the Seasons and especially the eternal optimism of Spring have been both Light and Inspiration to my Soul. Nothing reminds me of the imperative of Creation more than the fresh green of shoots of Spring from cold, darkly rich soil. As Eliot writes, I have been often to see the new growth from the corpse I buried in the Garden and my Soul has been renewed by the sight of New Life. Autumn's glory gives way to Winter's Death which rebounds in Spring's renewal and to Summer's fullness resolving into Autumn. The Cycle is eternal.

Fourth, I rejoice in the damned blessing of Concious Life which has forced me to contemplate the end of Physical Life. This blessing HIV gave me early and for this I am grateful; my Life has been quickened by it.

Now, I am Fifty-One and I have AIDS. The lives of all those who have died and who live with HIV, were lived and live to bring me to this place in History. I am eager for the further experiences of The Journey and set my worn shoes on The Path.

Peace Friends, Bon Hazard Mes Amis

ScotCharles

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Life is a river.
Carpe diem.

Post Extras: Remind Me!