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hiv positive couples?
#157223 - 07/14/05 05:08 AM
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I'm bi-sexual and as of my last test, still negitive. I often think about being in a long term relationship with a guy, but quite frankly I'm afraid. Afraid because my last male 2 male relationship that lasted 3 years, I'm almost certain that he is HIV+ based on symptoms he start experiencing. He would not get tested, saying he didn't want to know! My point is that it just seems that in a high percentage of gay couples at least one is HIV+. That scares the hell out of me and depresses me at the same time. I love M2M sex and I know how very difficult it is to be monogomous and safe all the time. So in my mind it seems almost inevitable that one is going to get infected sooner or later probably by a partner who will lie and deny. I'm with a women now and at least somehow feel less exposed to the risks than when I'm in a relationship with a man. I must admit that I still have M2M sex but knowing I'm with a women my activities are so controlled. Tell me, am I fatalist concerning gay relationships or just crazy or is there someone out there that can understand what I'm saying?
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ScotCharles
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Legend
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Reged: 05/06/05
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Posts: 924
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Loc: Los Angeles
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My partner and I have been together 25 years, I have been HIV+ for 21 years and he has been and is HIV- (recently tested just to be sure). I won't say keeping him negative has been easy, it hasn't, there are a lot of things we would like to do, but don't feel comfortable doing them, so we don't.
I don't want to get ooey, but visit a sex shop together and see what sort of playful things you can get up to. Good Vibrations in San Francisco is always worth a trip to the Grey Lady by the Bay. The shop has a website http://www.goodvibes.com/.
ScotCharles
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Life is a river.
Carpe diem.
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spiritzone2
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Grand Master
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Reged: 06/24/05
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Posts: 166
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Loc: PORTLAND ROCKS !!
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All humans are bi-sexual, dude. They just don't know it. Although i consider myself 'straight' and no longer engage in M2M, during my younger years, I found pro's & con's being w/men and other pro's & con's being w/wimmin. Do you feel that way ?? The range of human sexuality is very wide. I used to get a bit of crap from people who just refused to extend understanding towards the both{BI} part. You mention in your post that you love sex with men and that you are currently with a woman. Then I must ask you if you are HONEST with your female companion about the ManSex. If you answer yes, i say Right-on. If you answer no, then it doesn't make sense that you seem to believe that in a relationship with another man, that that man would 'probably lie' as you put it. If you answered NO above, i would say to you that you yourself lie. It is you who is the problem, not the person you're with. Fix yourself and you'll find the right kind of people gravitating to you. Try to eliminate double standards in your life: OWN IT. There are shallow people out there. There are authentic people out there. What is it you are attracted to?? Believe me, whatever it is you are looking for in this life, you will find it. Fix yourself, man and release your fears::also, you postulate that in gay relationships, one of them is HIV+. That's horsecrap, ok? like, where are you? Shallowville, California or what? And I'm not asking you where you geographically are, I'm trying to see if you are willing to look inward and question yourself a bit. Without more information, i cannot continue, but i just thought I'd respond with some radical honesty & ask you to look into yourself. Each of us & especially YOU have deep inner wisdom, our higher self that knows how to heal ourselves. Healing our minds is most of it. We can continue this conversation at some future time if you are so inclined. Lean into your fears, move forward in your life without any doubt to eliminate depressions.
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OUR FOCUS DETERMINES OUR REALITY.
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