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Myhighergrounds
Unregistered

I found a cure that works for me... :)
      #157147 - 07/13/05 01:49 AM

Hello everyone,
it has been over a year (May 23 2004) when I was diagnosed... and my life could never be more wonderful and exiciting!
I freaked for 1 week - that's how much I valued the announcement. My doctor did not know what to tell me but "i am sorry"... and I felt suddenly on my own, the master of my own life... wait a moment: isn't that what life is all about? live your life to the fullest, give the best of your true self and make your unique contribution to history? Alright then, there I went!
I have changed my job few months down the road, had to tell my boss what I thought of her (big ego),,, not knowing about me she once made a comment about being the healthiest and never to get sick (bragging)... sad enough, she was diagnosed with cancer. The true warriors in life are those who accept the hardest parts, not the ones who never faced any difficulty and talk because air goes through their throats.
Anyhow, I moved on looking for other things, but mainly involved with non-profit organizations who help kids in Africa with the devastation of HIV/AIDS.
We are SOOOOO lucky in the Western World, particularly North America, where we have access to drugs. People like me are now part of the big chronic disease management strategy that every developed country faces, mainly due to aging and the fact that the "weaker" (whatever ailment they have) have the right to live and to manage their diseases. What is tremendously unfair is that too many in this world don't have the luxury of the pillow where to choke your sobs and dry your tears, they don't have access to a counsellor to simply talk, they don't have a car to drive to a bar and have a beer wth a buddy. I am thankful that I can do all that. I am the luckiest person in this world. I am blessed.
The cure that I found that works for me is to remind myself that this is just life - what makes it unique is what I do every day to leave my mark. Doesn't need to be a big thing on the paper - maybe simply listening to someone else's problems, reading a great book ormake that call you have not made for years. We were made to be the author of our masterpiece, our lives... then, let us go and live it to the fullest.
My CD count is 483 and my VL is 10,000 and no drugs... no change has happened so far. I run 2 times a week, I hike to the top of a mountain here in beautiful British Columbia (Canada) pushing myself to the limit and everytime reminding myself of the great view I will enjoy once at the top.
I don't talk much if nothing at all about my status. It is just a non-defining issue for me - with or without drugs. Mind you, though with a fit body, I have extremely high cholesterol (simply put, I can die tomorrow of a stroke compared to die fo Aids... the old example of the infamous truck on the road ready to hit you!).
I continue taking my vitamins, do meditation, but most importantly I challenge myself as much as I can ... pushing myself to the limits, exciting myself with doing good and rewarding myself, even simplybuyin a book, a CD or dvd.
My plans are not changed.. they are just REAL! I am less to waste my time with procrastinators... I get into the thick of the action... I don't get a no for an answer and I work hard to achieve what I believe in.
The cure is in YOU... the drugs will do to you what you want them to do... so the virus. If you feel defeated, don't dig a hole and lay there... HIV virus is a parassite that is trying to survive, it is not a killer by biology: it needs you to survive.
Then, tell it your rules, you are the landlord and, even if it is the worst of the tenants, it still pays its bills. Yeah, it is a messy one... the place is trashed, the carpet is crap... but hey, it is your house not its own. And it needs you because, unless you allow it to go somewhere else, it cannot survive without you. Be a good landlord: keep that place safe and clean, clean after its mess too... maybe the future is in the symbiosis, in the opportunism of a relatioship meant to last forever. And in the history of biology, it is not the first nor the last (for example, how many know that mitocondria are actually type of bacteria that invaded cells and transformed themselves into "machine" providing much of the energy needed for the cell itself to survive).
All in all, I found a great place in the world, in the arms of my friends and lover, in my job and volunteering activities... ultimately I have found the greatest place in my hear and soul... the reason why I am here and the reason why I will live for as long as I need to in order to do WHAT I was meant to since I was born... GET TO KNOW MYSELF AND LOVE MYSELF FOR WHO I AM.
A;lright, I will stop here... but feel free to email me anytime at mhighergrounds@hotmail.com if you need to chat or ask questions or just give me your version of the story called life!
All the best to all of you and remember: nothing is so tremendously hard that we cannot tolerate... NOTHING... it is up to us to believe it!
Cheers and Ciao!
M.

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spiritzone2
Grand Master

Reged: 06/24/05
Posts: 166
Loc: PORTLAND ROCKS !!
Re: I found a cure that works for me... :) new
      #157150 - 07/13/05 02:49 AM

DUDE: YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHT IDEA. boy, how can we spread the LOVE to others on this site and the world. That's what you do / that's what I do. I LOVE YOUR ATTITUDE. IS NOT ATTITUDE EVERYTHING ??

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OUR FOCUS DETERMINES OUR REALITY.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I found a cure that works for me... :) new
      #157164 - 07/13/05 12:58 PM

There is NO cure. You don't have to take meds simply because it takes an average of 10 years to get a symptom. I hope though that if your cd4 count goes to 200 you will be savvy enough to realize that meds are your best bet. Right now, yeah, it's easy to dance around and be thrilled...but unless you are one of the true nonprogressors, everyone with HIV needs meds eventually.

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zeeohsix
Newbie

Reged: 07/13/05
Posts: 1
Loc: pittsburgh pa
Re: I found a cure that works for me... :) new
      #157165 - 07/13/05 01:06 PM

Totally agree attitude makes all the difference
Love life.. an live it.. :)
right on awesum post

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skate ur hate

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Myhighergrounds
Unregistered

Re: I found a cure that works for me... :) new
      #157176 - 07/13/05 05:42 PM

Thank you anonymous for your feedback.
It seems to me you have focused on one thing: me being happy because the worst has not come yet (honestly, a bit patronizing tone, however it might be the onlijne thing).
I have chosen to live, even if I will have 20 CD4 and VL over 1M and taking all the drugs I have and have all the possible side-effects from it. The point to be is: Life is what it is and I went through enough to know that I won' sit and cry upon myself - never was my attitude and never will. Also, I feel I have the responsibility of offering a more positive support and feedback to anyone I meet. It sounds as if I failed doing that with you. And I am sorry for that.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I found a cure that works for me... :) new
      #157217 - 07/14/05 02:33 AM

I love your enthusiasim about life. I have a very similar way of dealig with this disease. I will email you.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I found a cure that works for me... :) new
      #157233 - 07/14/05 11:13 AM

Sorry for the tone. I'm a realist and having watched a close friend die from AIDS related causes cause he thought being happy and going to a healer would help him him more then medications. He thought the meds were toxic and never took them. It was tragic to see him slowly die, in denial the whole time. So I worry when I hear someone say that their attitude is everything. Too many of my friends died in the early 90s with great attitudes. So I am quite aware that it is positive atitutde and a good specialist, the latest meds and a body that can handle the meds. Sorry if I'm a downer. I really do think your atititude is amazing. Just wanted to add some reality.

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myhighergrounds
Newbie

Reged: 07/13/05
Posts: 1
Thank you! new
      #157239 - 07/14/05 01:12 PM

I know what you are talking about... having a positive attitude and being in denial may often been confused one for the other. I do believe people make choices. And I would like to add that the examples I brought forward are of positive attitude towards others and, in return, we can be "healed" (figuratively). To continue having unprotected sex, cheating, using drugs... they are all choices that people make... but what good do you do to others around you/ What mark do you leave in the lives of those around you?
I always ask myself at the end of the day: how many lives have I touched today - because the more you touch with a smile, a fun word, an act of care, the more it comes back to you as healing and inspiring energy (whether you are christian, buddhist, scientologist and whatever else).
Most importantly, you don't have to give up anything for such attitude... it's a win-win situation. I am realistic that one day I will need meds, as well as I might be healthy and happy and have a stroke all of the sudden. I know my body might or might not tolerate some or most of the drugs... but what good does to me thinking that most likely I will deal with pain?
I have seen people having headaches and not been able to tolerate them, as well I met some extraordinary ones who don' even have any idea of what life without pain is, people who went through many surgeries that left them crippled and in a wheel chair at age 16, with many drugs and many side effects. The character of a man is ultimately his destiny... one of the greatest will power given to us. But we didn't all come with manuals to know how to deal with it! :) Mine, i was told, is out of print! Little humour is needed as well.
Thank you once again for responding back - you indeed have touched my life today (even throwing challenges in constructive conversations is a very valuable thing) and I wish you all the best. You are not a downer, just another great human being with his own sensibility. Feel free to drop a line whenever you wish.
Take care! :)

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spiritzone2
Grand Master

Reged: 06/24/05
Posts: 166
Loc: PORTLAND ROCKS !!
Re: I found a cure that works for me... :) new
      #157329 - 07/16/05 04:24 AM

I CREATE MY OWN REALITY. WE CREATE OUR OWN REALITY

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OUR FOCUS DETERMINES OUR REALITY.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Thank you! new
      #157440 - 07/18/05 05:13 PM

I'm so glad that we understand each other. I do think having a positive point of view is critical--whether you are HIV positive or negative. I see so many HIV negative people wasting their lives cause they feel they are not attractive or not rich or whatever....Feeling sorry for themselves for no reason. it's so about attitude and making the decision to love live and live as many moments as you are lucky to get fully. None of us know when our day will come...
Lovely atitutude you've got. I wish you all the good fortune!



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Dolly
Unregistered

Re: I found a cure that works for me... :) new
      #157611 - 07/22/05 05:09 AM

Wow...nice one man...........thats the way to go, thats what the world needs...People with Positive attitude!

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behorsee
Member

Reged: 07/22/05
Posts: 22
Re: I found a cure that works for me... :) new
      #157623 - 07/22/05 11:53 AM

Hi my name is Brenda and I truly beleive that the mind is stronger than the body I have full blown AIDS when I found out my son was two I had 92 T-cells and was very sick my first feeling was to give up and die then I thought about my beatiful son who was only 2 and I had unknowly gave him H.I.V. and thought who whould raise my son so I gathered my strenght and desided I had to be strong to rais my boy That was 10 years ago its been a hard struggle at times but Iam still hear and now I have 825T-cells and a undetecable viral load but I dont think I would have lasted this long without meds so I would suggest adding meds to your power of positve thinking and you will last a lot longer!

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texrex3234
Unregistered

high cholestrerol? new
      #158985 - 08/22/05 03:42 PM

why don't you try Red Yeast Rice supplement, one pill a day will lower your cholesterol without side effects.

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