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Anonymous
Unregistered

Waiting for test results
      #137319 - 03/07/05 05:59 PM

I would like for someone who maybe has done this or known someone that this happened too, to help me understand that if my husband had known since 1987 that he is positive why did he not tell any of his partners, his ex or me. I understand he was strung out, but he was clean when he met me, and we were together for 3 years before we married. I am still with him, but the anger is eating on me. Trust is bothering me, and I am struggling to forgive. I would like to be happy again. Also, we are unable to have sex for the last year and that is frustrating and I am worried about being left to raise his child alone. He feels he will be alright, but his wasting was so bad when he almost died this summer, and he isn't able to get it back on. He has done well, without meds to be this healthy for so many years. I hope I don't sound horrible, it is just feelings that I am trying to make sense of. He told me he was in denial, but how could that be, when he was on meds a couple of times in prison, and his whole family knew, he was having his son tested when he was born, and He told me he'd been tested and was ok. He lied,, and since I found out, accidentally he has told me several different stories about how long he'd been pos. Then he takes viagra and makes no romantic or sexual moves on me. That is confusing as well.

Sorry guys and gals, I just need some other opinions. Also, I', worried about his life span with this wasting that happened.
His viral load was 100000 and cd count was under 20, after 1 month on meds viral was 378 and cd was 38, time to get rechecked. But not weight gain.

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river
Expert

Reged: 03/05/05
Posts: 107
Re: Waiting for test results new
      #137776 - 03/12/05 08:30 AM

. My sister raised 3 girls alone. You don't need to settle for less because of that fear. Sounds like he really doesn't care about himself so how can he care about anyone else.Now your not going to like to hear what I'm saying,but you have known this all along deep in your heart. At the rate he's going you will be raising your son alone. But you are a strong person.And I know you love this man . But hon, you need to think of yourself and your boy.
My hubby and me too, were in and out of jail but we reached a point where we had to take a really deep self inventory . I was a very emotional thing to see how screwed up one is and how we've hurt those around us.I sense you are very nieve about his past. You may have heard about it but you really don't know how it makes him tick. Listen hon your heading for alot of heartache so prepare your self. Please stay in touch I will pray for you ,your son and even hubby, but he's got alot of changing to do. And he's going to have to earn your trust as we had to . But he's not starting on the right foot . you can reach me if you want at flogeo@comcast.net I hope to hear from you, but either way please cover your back at least for your sons sake.

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spadude64
Regular

Reged: 12/26/04
Posts: 37
Loc: Pa, USA
Re: Waiting for test results new
      #138628 - 03/17/05 02:13 AM

For one thing, he does need VIAGRA! People need to learn that when you spread HIV you are possibly killing someone because there immune system may not be as strong as yours. The big problem in this worls is: Is that people only think of themselves and that my friend is a shame!

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