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Jessie
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Reged: 06/15/04
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Posts: 395
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TRANSMITTING HIV TO NEWBORN TWINS/NEED ADVISE?????
#120693 - 12/07/04 01:03 AM
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I recently had my husband come to me, upset, crying and concerned about his brothers two newborn twins and the fact that me and my husband are both HIV+. Apparently, the brother confronted my husband about being with the newborns and washing his hands each time before touching them and putting his fingers in the childrens mouth(children tend to suck on fingers or knuckles) What I would like to know is what exactly do my husband and I need to be extra careful about if/when we are around the children(with the expection of course bleeding from skin or gums)????
My feelings were hurt and my husband was crushed when his brother presented this to him as"the aids thing" and I myself happen to be somewhat annoyed and insulted...I realize that society does not have a clue about how HIV is transmitted BUT I never thought that I would have to worry about people who say they love us and support us no matter what....Now they have a family and we have"the aids thing" and that is most upsetting to hear from family...
Any suggestions are welcome and input as I plan on printing this after I get some responses and giving to the brother and his wife so they can educate themselves a bit about our virus and how it is transmitted....
Can we make the babies sick by holding them, kissing them and loving them...is this so wrong???? HELP>>>>>NEED ANSWERS??????????????? Thank you...~Jessie~
HIV+ since 2-3-04
"While there is breath, there is hope".
quote"Without a dream, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly, keep hold of your dreams"............. =)
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What a genuinely sickening stigma to be presented with. I'm afraid I can't offer any advice of any substance, but I've talked with people who have met such nonsense in the past in my job (I'm a nurse).
You are a sensible person, you know that neither you or your husband can't give HIV to anyone without contact with intimate fluids, something that 100% is not applicable with babies!
I'm sure somewhere online there is an advice page for relatives of persons affected by HIV, I'll have a look later today... if not, contact your health care provider and ask them if they have any literature that might help you.
Most of all *hugs* to both of you, you don't need such stigma's on top of such a difficult year. Best of luck.
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Hi there:
Read through this:
http://www.thebody.com/cdc/faq/transmissionFAQ.html#casual_contact
HIV HAS NEVER BEEN TRANSMITTED casually!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have to have INTERCOURSE or share needles or get a transfusion to transmit HIV!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your brother-in-law is ignorant. Have him speak to the centers for disease control and prevention! Call them!
CDC National AIDS Hotline:
1-800-342-AIDS
Tell him that in 40million worldwide infections NOT ONE baby got HIV from being in the same house, sharing cups, kissing and being held by a someone with HIV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Normally, kids are a risk to someone with HIV who has low immune system, cause kids have so many colds...
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Jessie
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Guardian
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Reged: 06/15/04
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Posts: 395
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Thank you all so very much for responding to my post...your information has been very helpful and I certainly can always be more educated about my HIV...I am lucky to have such a wonderful support network here on the board and I thank God each day for finding you all...your THE BEST!!!!!!! =)
~Jessie~
HIV+ since 2-3-04
"while there is breath, there is hope".
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I hope you don't mind me taking some time for you to understand the other side of it. I only understand more so because my husband is hiv positive and myself negative with a toddler and baby. I also was very concerned and do not let him put his hands in the children's mouth etc. It was very very hard and nerve wracking to have to say this to him but when you have little babies that are so innocent, you will do anything to protect them, even if it is going overboard a bit. I think he is just being an overprotective father in this area and maybe you should not take it so personally. Also, the information out there about how hiv is transmitted is very very confusing! Some sites say it is in saliva and tears but so small it is a small risk. Well, as a parent, a small risk to a baby is not okay especially by family members that love them. Also, it is confusing about the bleeding part. How much blood is needed to transmit from cuts? There does not seem to be one clear cut answer anywhere. So, when little kids put everything in their mouth including hands, necks etc. Anything that could have cuts, shaving nicks, you tend to start to over think these things. I have and I go crazy with worry. Who knows the real answer. It is not transmitted casual contact, but babies and families is much more intimate. Maybe you can try to see they just want to ensure the babies are safe. I am not really sure about the hand washing thing though. But it is good practice to do with newborns no matter if you are hiv positive or not. Hope I helped!
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This is not True! There have been cases of household transmission although very small. but just research them! The cases are on the cdc website and others. And none of them had sex, it was bleeding situations and a lot of unknowns! BUT it has happened! So, you should not post things until you know for sure the truth, and what you said is incorrect.
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Once again this post is incorrect, it is intimate fluids and blood. And there could be a blood accident. I am not trying to hurt positive people, but sometimes you have to understand people on the other side of it, and especially new parents of newborns. They are just being new parents. My pediatrician advised myself and my husband to take an hiv preventative class for the situations of accidents around my children and what to do. HE is hiv positive. You need to be aware of blood contact. It is not only intimate contact.
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Jessie
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Guardian
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Reged: 06/15/04
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Posts: 395
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OK,OK everyone...I get the point...nobody seems to agree here about the post that I had written and actually I was just looking for some advise, not a DRAMA session...I DO realize as a negative parent, that worries will go through your mind BUT you have not a clue as to who your children wil come in contact while at school or community/sporting events as they start to grow...Many people/children are infected and you will/would never even know...My post was about MY FAMILY and how ME and MY HUSBAND felt about the reaction when they had there children...
I am not an uneduacated person when it comes to HIV...I have done plenty of research, asked many questions and have also spoken to my doc about many different topics concerning our hiv...I DO and WILL take it personally when a family member says something that will hurt my feelings...I dont plan on cutting myself and pouring the blood into the children mouth...nor does my husband.....I think that it is true...many people are so ignorant about this disease and it is truly sicking the stigma that still surrounds this virus after all these years....Please just let the post go and forget I mentioned anything......I am hurting enough!!!!! ~Jessie~
HIV+ since 2-3-04
"While there is breath, there is hope".
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dear Jessie ,
i have one postive in my family , my kid sister (during birth becs of blood transfusion) was back in 80 s when hiv wasnt even an issue ! me and my sister played togther all along,biting , kissing , fighing , all that sort! and nothing happened ..all what needs is care by both and nothing more, and ofcourse i believe that Hiv+ people are more sensitive to this issue than the negatives . when there is NO BLOOD , NO transmission . if sucking,licking, biting was an issue , i would have been a positive long time ago when my sister bit me, or puked on me! , etc,etc.
she is still alive , well and healthy after all those years .
and viral loads undetectable.
god bless you all .
xx
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I am sorry to hear about your sister but I do thank you for your input on this subject...I do agree with you that being diagnosed so recentently with hiv has changed my life dramatically...not just the way I feel physically but the way I think mentally and my reaction to others when ignorance has a part to play...I feel if a person knows of our statis and is SOOOOOOO concerned about infection then they should be inquiring to their childrens doctor as to precauctions they may want to take if this is such an issue for them...
I am sensitive to this subject as my life has been altered in such a way and I have had to endure much pain, sadness, frustrations and acceptance in such a short period of time..
Thank you for your compassion and your post...~Jessie~
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Dear Jessie,
I am sorry that you are going through so much pain. I too have had a similiar situation hapen to me many years ago so I do know what you are feeling. I know that I dont have all the answers and i am not a doctor either but I can tell you that I have had aids for many years and I have never given the disease to a child or anyone for that matter. I think your brother-in-law and his wife over reacted and being new parents they just where not thinking rationally. I know forgiveness is hard but maybe you should try to soul search and find it in your heart to forgive. The children where innocent in this and by you being angry and upset withthe parents will only cause you more pain in the end. To answer your initial question"NO, you cannot give the babies hiv from kissing, hugging or loving them". I follow lots of your posts and I think you are a wonderful person with a great big heart and lots of love to give and offer. Dont let one situation of ignorance change who you are. I wish you the best of luck and will be looking out for you in the future. Please post and let me know how you are doing. Much love, L
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Jessie
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Guardian
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Reged: 06/15/04
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Posts: 395
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Thank you so very much L for the encouraging words...it is nice to hear and does make me feel better about the situation......Yes, forgiveness is a very hard thing(especially in this situation) since I was so hurt.....I will try to do the best i can with this situation and I just wanted to thank you for such caring words...I am sorry to hear that you too had a similiar situation happen to you...This part of the disease is the unfair part...the part where you find that you really are not excepted by the people who say they love you...Much love~Jessie~
HIV+ since 2-3-04
"While there is breath, there is hope".
"HIV is what I have, not who I am".
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Hi there,
I just want to let you know that I am hiv + also my wife. I have two adorable kids they are 3 years old. The have been infected with the virus also. I guess that we didn't take enough preacutions because we didn't put attention to small details. My suggestion is that you can get close to them but remember that their safety is first and that they are innocent persons that they don't have to suffer for our mistakes.
email me at ehenriquez1@msn.com if you need more info.
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