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HIV Life >> Living With HIV

Pages: 1
Joan
Unregistered

How will death come
      #108372 - 08/11/04 06:00 PM

Determined poz in Feb.04 with T-Cell of 12 and viral load of 148,000. Doing a little better Cell count is 54. I haven't told all of my family. definitely not my childen. Scared of rejection. I took a pneuemonia vacine; wish I hadn't. I can't find counseling in this rural area about what to expect.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: How will death come new
      #108680 - 08/12/04 06:11 PM

You need to find the best HIV specialist in your area immediately. There are great treatments, but you have to always take them. Ignore people who say the treatment doesn't work. It's amazing. But you have to be determined and committed. You need support! Call an AIDS organization near you and talk to others who are positive. Get a caseworker to help you! http://www.thebody.com/hotlines/other.html

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Broken_Angel1
Guru

Reged: 02/26/04
Posts: 272
Loc: Arizona
Re: How will death come new
      #108744 - 08/12/04 10:07 PM

Sorry to hear of your pain. Keep the faith...things will get better. As far as telling people...that is up to you. Some people you will just know, that they will show compassion...you need all the support you can get. And the people you know may surprise you.

If you can't find counseling in your area go to a bigger area close by. I found it was better for anonymonity purposes anyway. And if you need someone to talk to...register and send me a private email. I will respond as quickly as I am able.

Take care...and please know...you are not alone in this.

--------------------
"No act of kindness,
no matter how small,
is ever wasted." AESOP


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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: How will death come new
      #109221 - 08/15/04 04:11 PM

well every one wonders that.u could step off the porch tommorrow and fall and break ur neck ,get hit by a truck or by lightning next week.i have been hiv poz for 15 yrs im still here though im recovering from open heart surgery and a double bipass as long as ive been pos. i figured aids would get me, but it was my heart that almost got me/ just goes to show u never know only god can decide how and when u go, my husbands count was 42 in 95 and they gave him a yr to live that was 10 yrs ago and he is still here his count is now over 100 and he is hardly ever sick,,,my count is over 900 and vl is undetectable in my bloodstream and ive been resistant to meds for over 5 yrs but i keep taking them and praying ,,,,,,hon plz dont dwell so much on dying that u forget to live i know ppl whos tc count is 3 and they are still here......stay out of the cold ,stay away from ppl who are sick to cut ur risk of infections down and give this a rest cause u probably have quite a few good yrs still ahead off u , ur life wasnt over when u were poz a didnt know it why should it be over now? dont give up and if ur not on meds get started on them ....aids may some day kill me but im not dwelling on it. im gonna live everyday god grants me and when its time im going down fighting.....kicking and screaming the whole way ,,,,but the truth is this is ur life start fighting a positive attitude will help more than u thinkso will the meds ur life isnt over ,its not a dead end its just a curve in the road

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makarichi
Unregistered

Re: How will death come new
      #109950 - 08/18/04 10:37 AM

Please dont despair about how death will come can you just take each day as it comes my friend. You are not alone and just remember whether aids or no aids we all will die so dont waste your precious time worrying about when you are going to die and what are you going to die from. Just live that to our Father who knows and rules this world. We all love you and dont worry God bless you

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: How will death come new
      #110299 - 08/20/04 05:32 AM

Joan-Death may be far, far away for you. Yes, your numbers are scary, but they can be brought up. There are so many regimes, so many new drugs coming, research going on constantly. A friend had a CD4 count of 3. He was given 6 months to live. His numbers are now good, 9 years later. There is hope, I'm sorry you don't have alot of resources in your area, hope we can help! Can you at least
talk to maybe a church pastor at least? Or hopefully find some
resources on line. Thinking about you...

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joe123
Newbie

Reged: 05/08/04
Posts: 2
Re: How will death come new
      #110332 - 08/20/04 04:49 PM

Hi Joan,
The fears u express here in your post are common to all of us with this illness. I too had very low numbers on diganosis, cd4 count of 7 and viral load off the scale. That was in April 2004. Now my viral load is undectable and my cell count has risen to 19. Since starting HARRT, I have been lucky not to have any major adverse side effects and to be honest I've never felt better. I had suffered a lot from what I now know to be HIV related illnesses over the last 12 years, but despite been hospitalised of a few occassions, my infection remained undected until almost too late. My message is simple, it's never too late and please,please don't give up hope.
The hardest thing I have ever had to do was tell my wife. Thankfully, both my wife and kids are negative.

I have only discussed my disease status with my wife, mother-in-law and a close friend of my wifes. I do not plan on sharing my status with anyone else, not even with the kids when they are older.
Joan, things may be bad right now, but with strong determination and will you have an excellent chance of reaching a ripe old age.
My thoughts are with you. Stay well. Joe

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: How will death come new
      #111024 - 08/30/04 01:44 AM

I can tell you that you are going to be amazed when you get some meds! I had a CD4 count of 22 and a high viral load when I was first diagnosed. I was very sick and hospitalized and didn't know what was wrong with me and then got the diagnose which was a huge shock. The doctor was telling me that my husband was going to be positive (which is isn't thank God) and it was scary. That was 3 years ago and I feel fantastic now! I have a CD4 count of 430 and viral load is undetectable. Almost every time I go to the doctor's for a check up I've gotten better numbers. But the trick is don't let the numbers rule your life! Don't give up! I'll pray for you.

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