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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Anonymous
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In a bad place mentally
      #99466 - 06/03/04 10:18 AM

Longish story but here goes. Sepnt the last 6 months thinking I've got HIV. The basis of this is as follows.

During a break from my long term girlfriend of 4 years( 12 months ago) I had vaginal protected sex with someone of unknown status but the condom broke. As a result(I think) I got thrush which cleared up after caneston. Did nt think anymore about it until I checked into a hotel in Singapore and noticed that there was a scab on my thigh. Two nights before this I had fallen asleep whilst very drunk(just been made redundant from a job I loved) and dropped a cigarette in my lap which had burned through the pants in the approximate location of the scab and concluded that it was a blister which healed up but left a scar. However at that point I started considering that it may be HIV/AIDS related from a memory of a programme I once watched on the subject.
Forgot about it for a while then had a dream that I was HIV+ and its been downhill from there. I ve a small lump in the ceiling of my mouth and using the web resources I discovered that Kaposi s Sarcoma affects the mouth aswell as the thigh area and some images of KS looked like the scar on my thigh from the assumed cigarette burn.
Discounted this after advice from a medical person and felt much better. This week I ve noticed that I am developing clusters of white blemishes on my face in various locations that look like they might be warts and they are itchy along with some on my hands.
After 12 months I ve assumed that symptoms would be dormant......however thinking back to 5 years ago when my marriage broke up I had a couple of flings which did involve unprotected vaginal penetration...but never anal and I wouldn t consider their status as high risk-but who really knows? I M CONSIDERING ALL SORTS RIGHT NOW AND NONE OF IT IS GOOD! JUST ABOUT TO RING FOR A TEST BUT FEEL LIKE I ALREADY KNOW THE RESULT WHICH IS THAT I M PAST THE HIV STAGE AND NOW CLINICALLY GOT AIDS.
Other than the stress my body feels fine, no diarrhea, no night sweats or fevers.......so I m also confused.
Sorry about the rant.........had to get it off my chest.
good luck to al those out there feeling like me.

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Chiquilla
Unregistered

Re: In a bad place mentally new
      #99471 - 06/03/04 02:53 PM

I'm sorry to hear that you have been stressing for so long about your HIV status. Remember that symptoms don't mean a damn thing in relation to HIV. KS is something that is associated with AIDS, and that is in the very progressed stages.
It sounds as though you are VERY far past the window period, so you could test now and your results would be conclusive. Cut this suffering short, and get your test done. I have been through this same situation of wondering and "knowing" that your are positive and not enjoying life. You will feel SO MUCH better after collecting your negative result. As a man, your chances of getting hiv from relations with a woman, especially in one time exposures, is very low (as far as unprotected sex goes).
Get tested. Knowing your status can save your life (no...hiv is NOT a death sentence), AND the lives of others. Learn from this and ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS play safe. ;)
Take care and good luck. We'll be here for you as you wait for your results. If you're worried about going in to a clinic to get tested, can I suggest the Home Access test for you? IT is easy to use, you get the results in a week, completely anonymous AND it's FDA approved!
Good luck friend...
Chiquilla

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: In a bad place mentally new
      #99473 - 06/03/04 03:04 PM

Im in the UK so cant get home access unfortunately. Its getting that bad that I m even rehearsing how to tell my girlfriend. She finishes uni tomorrow so timing isn t great....but I guess it never is for the sort of discussion I m planning.
For the sake of being precise I was in Singapore in January....so its been a long time worrying! The facial thing really freaked me when I noticed it and it seems to be spreadingaround the jaw but is more noticeable when I don t shave because there are no hair follicles present.
Its not the test that scares me its the 'what if I am' scenario's. Your words are a real comfort so many thanks.

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