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Anonymous
Unregistered

symptoms are to real not to be truth
      #98363 - 05/10/04 02:00 PM

in last several days I have sent a several posts, desperatly looking for some help and some advice regarding HIV and STDs. And, please don't leave or stop reading because of bad English.

I am kindly asking you, if you find the few minutes to see my case and give me your opinion.

I had a sex with high risk female individual.
First, protected oral and after that vaginal protected with condom burst.
I have changed the condoms beetwen those two intercourses.
I am not sure when condom broke (just on top), and I noticed only when I ejaculated.
After sex, I saw two drops od menstrual blood in the bathroom from female, and I do suffer from Perony disease and sometimes have a small lesions on the right side of penis. From her profile I am sure that she is infected with some STD.
I would say defenatly.

Why? I was away from home and very drunk. It's not an exuse!!!

After 2 weeks I had tested and being negative for all STD. Feeling good at that time. I felt a great relif, but learning more about STD , found out that 3 month period is needed for test to being valid (my fault not doctor – because it was anonimus testing). I got scared and stoped 10 years smoking and drinking coffee and smoking pot (using on weekends).
3 weeks after a I had a sore throat (heavily) for several days. Sore throat stopped and doctor said it all right. After 4 weeks I had a big headaches for several days. Start smoking cigartes again and drinking coffee and headaches actually stopped.
But, extreme fatigue started, loss of apetite, and complete lost of concentration.
7 Weeks later I had 2-3 nights profuse sweats.
8 Weeks after I got some small red blisters (4) on my penis, lasting for day or two.
(almost thougt everything will be all right)
Next stage I got some red patches on penis also lasting for day or two. And few drops of normal-urine color discharge after urinating was living behind .
9 Weeks after I still suffer for enormous fatigue, I can not work or think, and my girlfriend also is not feeling very well, explaining that she never felt so strange, no sleeping, feeling hot during night, no apetite. I had 2 days diearea, than two days colored clay stools, and very pale face for couple days.
9 weeks later no blisters, but have a red-blue bump on the edge of penis head and still few drops after urinating living behind (every time).
Now it is week eleven and still suffering from extreme fatigue, and having lesions on my toung on the side of the tounge like red round wounds (2-3) on each side (brid) of the tounge. And starting to have a very small red patches under skin on palms of my hands and dry skin on the hands. My hands looks very red, like under skin rash and in half hour they look qiute all right, then again a redness appears and disapper again.
I got a several blisters on my tounge (near throat) and got strong burning sensation in my mouth and white coating several days before that.
Now having blisters om my tounge for several days and they do not go away.
I also have two lines inside cheeks like two tubes coming from back to down lip.

One sympotom goes away, another shows? Accept fatigue, that is really unexplainable extreme, and long lasting (2 months). My feet are also tired all the time. I am acctualy very consired about changes on my penis and in my mouth .I suffer from enormoues quilt and so scared that if found positive for any std, especially hiv , I don't see the way to annouce it to my sex partner or to find the way to go on in my life.
And I am terrifed for my girlfriend.

Am I paranoic ?
What is chance to get co-infected with several STDs from one time risk sex? Does symptoms come one at the time, becasue doctors says that all symptoms shows within 2-3 days (hiv) starting with fever?
Am I showing hiv symptoms or syphilis symptoms? Or another STD symptoms? Which one is closest guess, or which one defently not?
I am waiting 12 weeks to get tested again. (next week)
Is it normal to show some sympotoms one week, than some other another week, and the first one disappers?
I could be sleeping for days, if left alone, that's how I am tired and burining in my mouth is getting stronger and stronger.
And I am very worried about my girlfriend. She doesn't look to good.
What do you think about symptoms? I did't have swallen lymph nodes (not as I am aware except one under my chin on the right side) or temperature (fever). No rashes on my body, accept hands that I am not sure what is happening.
Does 2 weeks test is valid for other STD – hepatitis, syphilis, Hpv..? (blood test)
What do you think – could I got infected from one time sex with broken condom on the top, with female in her period?!
Mouth and penis symptoms are now so strong, I am terrifed. Please, help!


Best Regards,
Central Europe



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: symptoms are to real not to be truth new
      #98364 - 05/10/04 02:16 PM

HIV symptoms all come at one time not one after the other

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: symptoms are to real not to be truth new
      #98368 - 05/10/04 03:34 PM

I can understand that I have developed some symptoms,
reading about them and getting scared, but I have a white coated tounge and blisters on my tounge for a week now?


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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: symptoms are to real not to be truth new
      #98369 - 05/10/04 03:56 PM

Don't know about the blisters, but a white coated tongue could be from a myriad of causes including acid-reflux, allergic rhinitis, food allergy, etc. Miost peolpe don't even pay attention to their tongue color until a scare like this arises.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: symptoms are to real not to be truth new
      #98371 - 05/10/04 05:39 PM

Posiblly!
Problem is that lot of things is happening to me lately, so I can see numeros reasons for symptom or two. But, regardless the fear, I am pretty much conviced that my one mistake led me (and most important others) to disaster judging by symptoms. Please, you did not refered to other questions like risk exposure? No reason not to belive me, I had ONE time risk exposure with condom that bursted on top (don't know when) and realized later that she was in period!!!! And afterwards having all this problems.
This is worst case scenario, and it is just like me.
(one episode, first condom failure in my life and I am 28, and ehr period situation, followed by dozens of symptoms). What would you think in you were in my place?
How is that, that my partner is sick after this episode?

And tell me, thebody.com is alway emphasising that one time exposure unprotetected is 0.1 to 3% in highest risk sex, but stil there is 5M new infections each year?

thnx


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Chiquilla
Unregistered

Re: symptoms are to real not to be truth new
      #98586 - 05/11/04 01:50 PM

It sounds like you are pretty worried about possible HIV infection. If the condom broke, and there was a chance that you were exposed, for your peace of mind and health (not to mention that of your girlfriend), YOU SHOULD GET TESTED. No one on this site or any other site will be able to diagnose any "symptom" you might think you have or tell you if you have HIV or not. You're right, HIV is pretty difficult to catch. However, since it would be pretty hellish to live with The Doubt (not to mention that you would probably stress yourself into the grave!), just get tested! I know that it is hard to wait to get out of the window period, but you are VERY CLOSE!! You could even get an HIV test done now, and it would be a darn good indicator of your status. I just went through a scare myself, and let me tell you that even though it is scary and difficult to go get the test done, it is MUCH scarier living with the fear and doubt...and all the stress-related "symptoms".
I don't know if 2 weeks is too early to test for STDs, but from my limited knowledge regarding STDs, I think you should be in the clear if you tested negative. Of course, there are things like HPV that you can't really test for.
Now...it sounds like you hare having unprotected sex with your girlfriend. If you love her and respect her health you NEED TO be using condoms until you know your HIV status for sure. I know that it may be hard to introduce condoms to the relationship, because she will most likely question why...but think about it like this. My risk was that I had one unprotected indescretion outside of my committed relationship with my fiance (bad bad girl!!!). Anyways...I started driving myself crazy because I had the doubt in my head, and I DIDN'T want to tell him that I cheated. However, we both knew our HIV status before we stopped using protection, and I knew that I couldn't live with myself if I gave him HIV because of me being a COWARD about being honest. It was horrible to tell him that I betrayed his trust, but we worked through it, and we're still together AND hiv-negative as a couple. Honesty is always worth it.

I hope that this helps a little bit. I'm not trying to come down on you or judge you (because I was in a similar situation). I just hope that you can learn from my experience and avoid any tragedies that can be avoided. Good luck! I'm sure that you will come out just fine either way. It's the not knowing that kills!
Come to this board for support and also check aidsmeds.com! We're all here for you!
peace...
Chiquilla

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: symptoms are to real not to be truth new
      #98599 - 05/11/04 05:48 PM

Hi Chiquilla,

thank you for your response.
I really have to come clean, no metter it is unkown person on forum on the other side of the world.
Thank you for that.
I really do not consider me as a selfish or bad person, I finished college, I work and partly support my family, I have numeros, numeros friends, I suport my sister through college also.
I did what every youngs are doing, drinking, occacionly have pot, chasing girls, going out....
I live in country where HIV or std exposure is extremly small.
Past few years I had some problems in my life, and last few months everything started to spin in my life very fast.
I had to decide about my future, since period of fun and mind-free was at the end, and I felt I need to define myself and future steps asap.
I had/have a big pressure on my job (alos very important regarding my future existence), I met my girlfriend, started to seeing her (she was still involved in unhappy relationship, so I was not sure how it is going to end up - but I like her and she liked me - so sparks were there).
I did that stupid thing in meantime on one business trip after drinking with future partners.

I got tested and came up clean as I mentioned ( being exposed to STD overhere is shame and disaster that even medical pepole disapprove), being so happy that weekend,
went out drinking and I had unprotected sex with my friend from highschool. We both knew that it was one time thing.
We always looked each other in highschool, but never involved, and beign both alone having almost 30year on Satruday night in the city - Guess what happened.

My present girlfriend and I next week met again and saw that we like each other very much, she defently ended all relations with her former boyfirend, and we strated to see each other for real.
As we slept for several times (some unprotected), I started to feel sick, and little bit after that she also.

And for this short period I liked the way we started our relationship.
I decided to forgot my past (problems mentioned eariler and testing of course for that stupidity. stupidity!!!) and start to build serious and responible life.

Then this BOOM! Only 2-3 weeks after everything settled down, and start to enjoy my new relationship, I got sick.
I got worried and found out about window period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god, oh my god.

I know that text above drags toward excuse, but this is apsolute truth, in last 4 month I had my head full, not mentioning working responsable and mental hard job for 10-12 hours a day.
And what I did? I probably destroyed everthing that I build very hard in last 10 years, because I was alone and inpatiente about my future.
Not me, who the fuck cares about me now.
I most certainly do not.
If I destoyed the life of my good female friend, her and my family and her friends that are all mine friends also and I see them on daily basis, My new and so pure girlfriend (her simplicity is what I like the most ), I will kill myself.

I come from work that I like, but honestly I do not like people in today business - to much, to much pressure and rude, dirty games (no extravaganza and intelect that I appreciate the most in work) , and I sit down with her and she is talking about so inocent and nice things and relaxes me like nobody before. She is so good, modest, so young and so naive. I smiled from the bottom of my heart for 20 days before getting sick, like I did not for couple years before that.
She deligthed me, she is my santuary, and in 20 days we could talk like we know each other for 20 years.

Then symptoms started, I searched for info - got informed , and here is where I end up.
Oh my god. (sex activity stopped – what is strange in new relationship)

I see no way to annouce my story to anybody close to me.
I destroyed my hard work toward sucess, I destroyed my family. This is the last thing on their mind it could happen.
It will kill them. I disappointed hunders of my collegues, friends, partners and the city where I know thousans of people. I put unerasable shame on my family, and I destroyed one so pure soul that brought so much light in my life.
Who do fuck gave me right to do that?
Me, because I was stupid enoguh to put my head in the sand and got tested anonimusly and did't have time to educate my self.

I know that this is post for church, not for forum on HIV infected people, who suffer in the way I just found out lately.
everbody, wherever you are, and whatever your sex orientation is - You do not deserve this torture, and I admire your coruage to go on with your life and cope with this virus.

And you will tell, Get tested, you might be negative.
I doubt it!!! My tounge looks like hell now for example.
Everything is looking like this is one way street, and for the first time in my life I can not see the way out, and I saw it and made it happen before many times, when lot of people couldn't.

Worst thing that numeros people, including my family, have a high opinon about me (i am aware of that), counting and receiving my help, learning from me, admires me, comes for advice and appreciate me like business man, person, friend and man. I builded that long and hard.
I what I did?
I can not go on with my life, and who is going to belive this story?
I know, nobody.
Even if they do, the risk itself I took, it can not be excused.

I know that I am guilt-racked.
I desperatly tried to get the expert opinon on net, but Dr. Bob is not answering, and learn it through archives.
Nevertheless, I thank everbody who gave me info, and being suportive and nice with me, and being forgiving, no metter we all know how stupid I am.
I appologise to all people who can only dream the life and sourrouding that I had, and I blew it all, and brought death and disaster to my dearest.
I can not live with this quilt. No shrink or meds will help me.
I brought disaster and going to take the easiest way out.
Sorry for being such a pussy, I hope that everybody will find the way to forgive me one day, esspecialy my father who looks me today as was looking him being a boy (an idol, everthing in the world you wants to be some day – and today he so proud of his work).
Jesus, his heart won't stand this.
I am one day away of testing, but I know the result.
I can feel it. I know that my judgment is not clear probably, but I can feel it for real.
I will wait for results.

Brave people, do not take me for example, if I was alone in this I would fight, but being responsalbe for others , I can not do that. I do not dare to think looking at eyes of those people every day, or even think to live longer and watching my girls die.
Or bring my parents watching me die slowly and financialy brake them.
No, sorry, that is not the way.
I am chicken for the first time in my life, and if there is other side I will pay overthere.
I know that lot of you will find the holes in this story. mybe, becuase it is written in one breath, and it might seems like that.
I still can not belive that this happen to me, but that's life, and writting this I feel relif and even some monty pyton humor goes through my head.
I was never afarid of death, but honestly now I am.

Bye Chiquilla,
and thnx
CE








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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: symptoms are to real not to be truth new
      #139182 - 03/23/05 07:32 PM

[quote]in last several days I have sent a several posts, desperatly looking for some help and some advice regarding HIV and STDs. And, please don't leave or stop reading because of bad English.

I am kindly asking you, if you find the few minutes to see my case and give me your opinion.

I had a sex with high risk female individual.
First, protected oral and after that vaginal protected with condom burst.
I have changed the condoms beetwen those two intercourses.
I am not sure when condom broke (just on top), and I noticed only when I ejaculated.
After sex, I saw two drops od menstrual blood in the bathroom from female, and I do suffer from Perony disease and sometimes have a small lesions on the right side of penis. From her profile I am sure that she is infected with some STD.
I would say defenatly.

Why? I was away from home and very drunk. It's not an exuse!!!

After 2 weeks I had tested and being negative for all STD. Feeling good at that time. I felt a great relif, but learning more about STD , found out that 3 month period is needed for test to being valid (my fault not doctor – because it was anonimus testing). I got scared and stoped 10 years smoking and drinking coffee and smoking pot (using on weekends).
3 weeks after a I had a sore throat (heavily) for several days. Sore throat stopped and doctor said it all right. After 4 weeks I had a big headaches for several days. Start smoking cigartes again and drinking coffee and headaches actually stopped.
But, extreme fatigue started, loss of apetite, and complete lost of concentration.
7 Weeks later I had 2-3 nights profuse sweats.
8 Weeks after I got some small red blisters (4) on my penis, lasting for day or two.
(almost thougt everything will be all right)
Next stage I got some red patches on penis also lasting for day or two. And few drops of normal-urine color discharge after urinating was living behind .
9 Weeks after I still suffer for enormous fatigue, I can not work or think, and my girlfriend also is not feeling very well, explaining that she never felt so strange, no sleeping, feeling hot during night, no apetite. I had 2 days diearea, than two days colored clay stools, and very pale face for couple days.
9 weeks later no blisters, but have a red-blue bump on the edge of penis head and still few drops after urinating living behind (every time).
Now it is week eleven and still suffering from extreme fatigue, and having lesions on my toung on the side of the tounge like red round wounds (2-3) on each side (brid) of the tounge. And starting to have a very small red patches under skin on palms of my hands and dry skin on the hands. My hands looks very red, like under skin rash and in half hour they look qiute all right, then again a redness appears and disapper again.
I got a several blisters on my tounge (near throat) and got strong burning sensation in my mouth and white coating several days before that.
Now having blisters om my tounge for several days and they do not go away.
I also have two lines inside cheeks like two tubes coming from back to down lip.

One sympotom goes away, another shows? Accept fatigue, that is really unexplainable extreme, and long lasting (2 months). My feet are also tired all the time. I am acctualy very consired about changes on my penis and in my mouth .I suffer from enormoues quilt and so scared that if found positive for any std, especially hiv , I don't see the way to annouce it to my sex partner or to find the way to go on in my life.
And I am terrifed for my girlfriend.

Am I paranoic ?
What is chance to get co-infected with several STDs from one time risk sex? Does symptoms come one at the time, becasue doctors says that all symptoms shows within 2-3 days (hiv) starting with fever?
Am I showing hiv symptoms or syphilis symptoms? Or another STD symptoms? Which one is closest guess, or which one defently not?
I am waiting 12 weeks to get tested again. (next week)
Is it normal to show some sympotoms one week, than some other another week, and the first one disappers?
I could be sleeping for days, if left alone, that's how I am tired and burining in my mouth is getting stronger and stronger.
And I am very worried about my girlfriend. She doesn't look to good.
What do you think about symptoms? I did't have swallen lymph nodes (not as I am aware except one under my chin on the right side) or temperature (fever). No rashes on my body, accept hands that I am not sure what is happening.
Does 2 weeks test is valid for other STD – hepatitis, syphilis, Hpv..? (blood test)
What do you think – could I got infected from one time sex with broken condom on the top, with female in her period?!
Mouth and penis symptoms are now so strong, I am terrifed. Please, help!


Best Regards,
Central Europe

[/quote]

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Twiz
Newbie

Reged: 08/03/05
Posts: 6
Re: symptoms are to real not to be truth new
      #158276 - 08/06/05 02:53 PM

ok I know the blisters you are having sound like herpes to me because I have herpes and believe me blisters on the penis are herpes

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