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Please advise a terrified young male
#962 - 03/30/00 10:25 PM
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Please advise a terrified young male . . . I'm really messed up.
I tried "freebasing" (smoking cocaine) for the first (and only)
time this last weekend. One person I was with was a man in drag -
I didn't know !! We smoked a lot - for a whole day. Before I knew
he was a man, he had given me oral sex - using a condom. We also
kissed - deeply. We also exchanged smoke by "shotgunning" -
blowing smoke between our lungs. Those are all the possible
routes of transmission we opened up. I now have VERY good reason
to believe he was HIV positive and he knew it. I'm nearly certain
and it's not paranoia. I called the CDC hotline and they said not
to worry. Protected oral sex is not a mode of transmission. Also
kissing - even deep, is not a mode of transmission. I did not
mention the smoking part. They said I could test if I wanted to,
but given what happened - and my history - they weren't even
going to recommend it. However, I failed to mention the smoking
cocaine part. What about what the (rough) smoke does to your
throat, lungs, etc. I don't know about my lungs, but my throat
hurt from the smoke and was in real rough shape. Like I said, he
gave me protected oral sex. Do you agree with the CDC's
assessment of my risk (~none) for that act. Like I said, I didn't
tell them about the smoking - his mouth/throat may very well have
been in rough shape. How about the kissing ? My throat was really
sore from the smoke - I have no idea what the condition of his
mouth was. Could we have passed it by kissing given these
circumstances ? The CDC left me feeling a lot better about the
above two things. What about this one - the "shotgunning" -
blowing smoke directly between us, mouths together - air directly
from his lungs to mine. My throat was sore and I suspect after
all the smoking my lungs weren't in top-notch shape either. This
seems very dangerous to me, I'm so stupid. I was tested last year
- negative - no sex since then - what's my exposure from this
horrible incident ? Other possibly relevant facts perhaps - My
genitals in fine shape, no cuts or anything like that. Rubber
remained on at all times (but of course didn't cover the
scrotum). Tongue was involved during some kissing. The receptive,
protected oral sex was the only sex act. Other than this screw
up, I don't do drugs. I'm in great physical shape with a strong
constitution. I feel like I've been raped. I was tricked.
Sincerely, Afraid to die terribly
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If you did not mention the smoking or any other facts to the CDC,
then their answers are only as good as your
questions...incomplete. They are not there to judge you or your
actions, but to assist you when you have questions about either.
Call them again. Tell them EVERYTHING. From the moment you do,
you'll feel at least a LITTLE better that the answers you get are
more in tune with the questions you have. MAYBE they won't have
faced this question before, in which case it is a good thing to
bring it up so they can look into it for future reference.
WHATEVER you do, WHATEVER answers they give, GET TESTED. Only
then will you know for sure. Don't make yourself a victim of the
mental trauma that is associated with the fear of this disease.
Ignorance is NOT bliss. My own personal observation....the most
stupid thing you could have done was to "try fo the first time."
You had no idea what it may have done to your natural
sensibilities. God forbid it could have made you completely drop
ALL sensibilities and do far worse things than shotgunning. Drugs
are something best left alone. Ask youself this question...Was
the temporary artificial "high" worth all these days of lasting
real fear and paranoia? Think about it. Want to talk one-on-one?
E-Mail me....rossx@covebbs.com I'll give you honest feedback, and
maybe be able to give you other ideas on where to look for what.
Don't worry, I'm no cop or counselor....just somone who has seen
too much ignorance leading to death.
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if what you said was true , than what the cdc told you still
holds true. You can get a test to put yourself at ease but I
think you will find you did not get infected with this drag
queen. You either must of been very stoned in which case how can
you remember what you did or this guy is a great drag quenn for
you not to have noticed he was a she. You can email me at
mikael@concentric.net good luck and be careful.
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