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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Anonymous
Unregistered

I am consumed with fear, not your typical WW
      #93702 - 03/29/04 09:51 AM

Hey Guys and Gals,

Great to see there is a resource here where everyone can come together and share knowledge and comfort eachother. I know my post is long but I have some questions that I am very curious about.

Heres the rundown of my experience:
On or around Feb. 7th or 8th, I had an oral encounter (gave and received along with kissing) with a girl of unknown status who I personally believe could be positive (she has been with some seedy characters,I think one is even in jail and has been coughing lately due to what she claims are allergies. )

Approx. 3 or 4 days later I began to have a sore throat which soon turned into pretty swollen lymph nodes that alternated from left to right side of my neck (neck only), and some fever of about 101 (intermittent) for about two and a half weeks before I went to see my doc on March 10th. In the office she did a Mono test and a Strep which to my horror came back NEGATIVE, she then took my blood and sent it in for testing of STD's including HIV. 2 days later I called and received my results, everything came back negative and this was approximately 1 month after the encounter, I was happy to hear this news but when I came to The Body I realized a one month test was pretty much useless, not to mention I didnt get CD4 counts or viral load reports or anything like that.

The doctor prescribed a 10 day antibiotic which cured my swollen nodes and eventually the fevers, but I also developed an HIV like rash on my upper cheek and nose area, it is very light red and the doctor who I went back to see on March 24th said it was just rosacea, which Ive never had before, stuff like that cant just appear! Also between the 10th and 24th I lost 4lb and had intermittent loss of appetite and some fevers at night that go as quickly as they come (these fevers still happened about for the past two nights.)

Heres what REALLY scares me. You can always say that the textbook reaction of a Hypochondriac is someone who reads about a symptom and then has it, but last night I read about CMV Retinitis in AIDS patients and I almost collapsed, the textbook signs of CMV Retinitis I have noticed over the last few days without even knowing what it was!! I had more floaters than usual (at least I think so) and my vision in my right eye seems to be a little out of focus compared to my left one. I also believe that I have folliculitis because my scalp has been itchy.

Heres my real fear, at this point lets say ive even accepted that I have HIV, now my even greater fear is that ive developed into full blown AIDS already because of the CMV!! My question is, if I had already progressed into AIDS, and had an extremely low T-Cell count, would I feel completely normal, or would there be other changes I would be experiencing? Yesterday I scratched my bellybutton, which I do frequently and it started bleeding... all of these little things are putting me in a world of torture.

Please help me I am really scared, I am going to have this girl get tested but I dont think she can til next week, and I cant again til 3 months has passed!

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shadow1
Legend

Reged: 12/06/00
Posts: 1209
Re: I am consumed with fear, not your typical WW new
      #93704 - 03/29/04 11:03 AM

As you stated-
"Heres the rundown of my experience:
On or around Feb. 7th or 8th, I had an oral encounter (gave and received along with kissing) with a girl of unknown status who I personally believe could be positive (she has been with some seedy characters,I think one is even in jail and has been coughing lately due to what she claims are allergies. )"

Have you read how HIV is contracted?
There have been no confirmed cases of HIV contraction from what you have done. Even if she were HIV positive you are at no risk, remember HIV is not easy to catch. Furthermore, symptoms mean nothing, there are many other communicable diseases that are much easier to catch that have the same symptoms. You should leave the diagnosis up to a physician and not diagnose yourself.
In addition, it is not your place to judge others on there status, she may be one of the others on here thinking you infected her.


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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I am consumed with fear, not your typical WW new
      #93706 - 03/29/04 11:15 AM

Thanks GManbill,
I realize my judgemental attitude is a terrible thing, but this fear has changed me completely even from a logic and emotional standpoint. I am not usually judgemental toward people or even the slightest bit prejudiced towards ANYONE.

Thanks for answering my question. Please dont put me in that category of people who are uselessly complaining, this is a very real fear for me. I never get sick (despite my obesity and not the best eating habits and little excercise ;) and then suddenly to have all this happen at once was overwhelming.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Why I think I am different than everyone else here new
      #93892 - 03/30/04 11:16 AM

OK Its still me, Anonymous from the first part of this thread, though I really dont care if anyone knows who I am.

So what is different about me? Well, first off Anxiety has lessened a great deal, I am not in utter fear like I used to be, but the symptoms are not going away and new little things keep happening. My skin is acting weird (maybe folliculitis? i dont know) I have a rash on my face thats not going away since about two weeks after exposure as mentioned above. My skin overall feels drier and I have little red bumps on my upper arms and shoulders, and my scalp itches sometimes. Last night I kept waking with very dry mouth and I could feel little things with my tongue at the back of my throat, my appetite has never really returned with the furiousity it used to have (could barely finish a whole pizza last night), I have an increase in floaters in my eyes and I just feel DIFFERENT. I am actually in a pretty good mood today but my symptoms still arent gone. If they arent from stress then why arent they going away! My 4.5 week Elisa was negative and I really want to take a PCR DNA but my stupid doctor is so hard to get a hold of because I have to contact the office, then speak to the nurse, and then finally I can talk to my doctor. Someone please tell me its going to be alright, the girl I last had the contact with has agreed to take a HomeAccess if I buy it for her but im still oh so far from that 12 week window. sigh

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