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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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For MC, and all those who are scared...
      #8371 - 08/14/00 07:41 PM

I am going through the same thing you are going through. I had a low risk encounter, but try telling me it was low risk...(mutual masturbation, nipple sucking). I went through a nightmare for the next umpteen number of months...there were days where I couldn't get out of bed, and don't even think about going out with friends. The only thing I could think about was having HIV. So, I found porn. That made it temporarily better, except for the fact it was really expensive and it didn't get me anywhere. So, I began to think about life, and about all that my parents have taught me. I then rededicated my life to Jesus Christ and something miraculous happened...I'm not as bad as I was in terms of fearing things. I think about it once in a while, but I'm nowhere near the mental wreck that I was...
my point is, don't put yourself on the brink of suicide like I did (yes, I almost killed myself and I had a foolproof plan) because, as others pointed out, there are people out there that have a more significant risk than we had. Oh, by the way, I did test negative after 8 1/2 weeks using Orasure...I should go back in, but I'm delaying it for a little bit. If you need to talk more, I can give you my email address. Hope this helps! =)

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