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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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worried815
Member

Reged: 11/21/03
Posts: 12
The Truth about Receiving Oral Sex
      #78623 - 11/22/03 05:04 AM

Ok, I posted this question below as part of another post, but what is the truth about receiving oral sex? Is there really basically no risk of HIV from recieving oral sex? Jackie says no risk (thank you again Jackie for your reply), and I want so so bad to believe this, as I am freaking out about kissing and receiving oral sex from a sex worker (which again, I deeply regret and feel was immoral). But, my question is what about those few people who claim to have gotten HIV through receiving a blow job? Are we to just assume they are liars? Do we discount the risk because these cases are not "confirmed." And what does not confirmed mean anyway? And if those guys could be infected that way, why not by kissing, especially if you had a small cut on your tongue (I have geographic tongue so sometimes there are "denuded" spots on my tongue I dont know about)? I have asked Dr. Bob like 15 times about this and he won't reply. It makes me wonder if he is afraid he will scare me with his answer as it will be bad news.

If it is true there is no real risk for receiving oral sex, why test at all. I always find that strange. Dr. Bob will say you have "extremely low risk from insertive oral sex, write me back after your test to Woo-Hoo." He could save us a lot of anxiety by saying "forget about it, no need to be tested. Woo-hoo right now, and get on with your life. You had safe sex"

Also, what is with the "extremely low risk" phrase anyway. It is meaningless, because everyone evaluates risk differently. I have asked Dr. Bob repeatedly to clarify the meaning of "extremely low risk" but to no avail. (I of course understand he is a busy man and clearly has better things to do than answer me). But why not just say no risk, if there is no real risk? Are the “experts” hedging their bets, are they just guessing, or are they not telling us something?

I mean I try to do the math. 600,000 confirmed cases of HIV in the US alone, no case of confirmed transmission through receiving oral sex. There must be hundreds of thousands of blow-jobs (without intercourse thereafter) given every year by HIV positive people, right? And this epidemic has been around for 20 years. That would make the odds much less than 1 in a million, right? Are people not reporting it, or is HIV just not spread this way? And if not, why don't the experts like Dr. Bob just tell people not to get tested because they are needlessly worrying. Wouldn't that make much more sense? It would sure help me let go of this a lot better.

Worried (still)




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Cindy Lou
Unregistered

Re: The Truth about Receiving Oral Sex new
      #78630 - 11/22/03 01:27 PM

Medicine is a funny profession, if there is any risk at all, even the smallest, tinies, most minute risk, it will be acknowledged. We say there "are no absolutes" meaning we can never say never about anything. That is why RECEIVING oral sex is "low risk".

For example, In medicine, we would never say there is no risk to crossing the street at a stoplight where all the cars stop because of an arm that goes across the road to block traffic and there is a policemen to warn and direct traffic. Even though there are three items that make crossing at this street safe it would still be considered low risk because something weird COULD happen.

In the usual person with healthy tissue on their genitals, having someone perform oral sex on them is no riskier than having someone spit on your arm (virtually no risk). Only in the unusual case of the person recieving the oral sex having deep broken skin on the genitals, open areas without scabs, AND the person giving the oral sex having an astronomically high viral load would there be enough risk to even talk about.

If you have intact skin you are protected. To me, the biggest issue is your anxiety and probably guilt. See a counselor to help you with this and ask your doctor if you need short term anti-anxiety medications to help you until the next test is due.

Your best cure for this is to not be "immoral" (your term) and to be sexually responsible from now on. Now you know that sex can be risky and you will know what to do to protect yourself and your partner.
Best wishes to you.



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LoveIsNotAWord
Grand Master

Reged: 11/05/03
Posts: 173
Loc: We are in West Texas
Re: The Truth about Receiving Oral Sex new
      #78650 - 11/23/03 01:11 PM

Dear Worried,

Use protection with oral; condom, on the female a dental dam and or condom. That knocks your risk on a low risk activity next to nothing.

:)Karen



--------------------
Karen G....
"Live with it!"

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: The Truth about Receiving Oral Sex new
      #78659 - 11/23/03 07:41 PM

Damn you Karen, are you just trying to scare me? Im freaking out already, can hardly function. Really going crazy. Do you think I really need to hear that from you? What is your problem, really.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: The Truth about Receiving Oral Sex new
      #78660 - 11/23/03 07:44 PM

Hey poster what you scared about geez. Risk is like nothing for head or eating out. Nobody said crap to you oral is like not even having sex.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: The Truth about Receiving Oral Sex new
      #78663 - 11/23/03 09:17 PM

Worried,

I am in the same situation. I have called the CDC hotline many times and receive the same answer - "no documented cases".

On one hand I have seen studies where couples with a known HIV+ partner were studied and no transmission occurred over hundreds of events of oral sex. There have been a few posters who received and tested negative. However, I have seen a couple cases listed in studies in San Fran and the U.K. which says insertive oral sex did lead to HIV transmission. I am confused just as much as you are and am finding the CDC's reassurance unhelpful.

To me I would agree that it is low risk, though a route where it can be transmitted. It would seem transmission would depend on whether the person giving it had blood from their gums, etal, in their mouth -- and who really knows this???

I hate to sound like the CDC, the sure way to know is get tested.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: The Truth about Receiving Oral Sex new
      #78664 - 11/23/03 09:33 PM

I know this won't help your nerves, though it would seem that a sex worker might have semen from a prior person in her mouth (supposedly, there are enzymes in saliva which should take care of this). This could theoretically, then be transmitted to a subsquent person.

I am not sure if studies look at type of partner, though they really should.



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Cindy Lou
Unregistered

Re: The Truth about Receiving Oral Sex new
      #78665 - 11/23/03 09:55 PM

Ok, Karen did not deserve that. You need to see someone quick. A doctor to help you with your anxiety and one to answer your questions.
You've been given the same answer several times. We cannot take away your guilt over what you chose to do. You have to live with it, find someway to handle it and decide how you will act in the future.
Your actions were so low risk as to be without risk. Find someone to test you and put your fears to rest.



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