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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Reged: 02/07/03
Posts: 2
im so scared please help
      #57584 - 02/07/03 05:04 AM

I have a huge problem that is destroying my life. I have never been tested for anything and I am terrified to do so. I am convinced I have hiv through my low risk exposures. I have been with a total of 9 guys and with them I have engages in only oral (not anal). I have never ever ever swallowed cum, however I am a bit iffy about getting precum in my mouth. First can you tell me what amount of precum is needed to infect me? Second...i brushed my teeth the other day and my gums bled a bit so i freaked out thinking "omg there was a passageway into my bloodstream, if i had oral with a positive person." I am sooo scared. What can you say about all of this??? All my friends tell me I am basically negative and that I need to stop worrying, however I feel that i am infected and that my life is on a clock all of a sudden. easy is it to contract hiv??? The way I work is: I feel that if i have done even oral with just one positive person one time I could pick it up like that! I am actually convinced that I do have it :(.
What should I do doc? I am going nuts :( Please answer my question it would mean a lot to me.

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Re: im so scared please help new
      #57606 - 02/07/03 05:58 AM

first off - oral is low low risk unless you both had cuts and were bleeding while you had oral plus the guy would have to have hiv as well.

second - did any of these guys hiv?

third - you would have to swallow an ocean of precum that was hiv infected and you didnt and even if you did swallow a tiny bit - hiv is not transmitted that way.

forth - you tested negative at 4 months - and you are still negative. 4 months is past the window. you are negative.

fifth - the only way you will have peace of mind is to test so - just do it and end the what if's - you were negative at 4 months and you still are based on your description of activities. stop being scared - bite the bullet and take the test anf then move on.

best of luck to you.
you are negative and the test will show you that.

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New User

Reged: 02/07/03
Posts: 2
Re: im so scared please help new
      #57607 - 02/07/03 06:03 AM

you are misunderstood...
i never have ever ever had a test done in my life...where did the 4 months come from? are you sure that i'd need a lot of precum???? not even just a drop could give it to me?

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Re: update - misread new
      #57608 - 02/07/03 06:04 AM

i thought you wrote you tested at 4 months - i reread your post and you wrote you never tested.
your exposure is still so so low -
your negative -
but like i wrote, get it over woth and test for peace of mind.
sorry for the misreading but i still think you are negative.

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Reged: 10/26/00
Posts: 2028
Re: im so scared please help new
      #57655 - 02/07/03 10:57 AM

Your exposures are extremely low risk and itís highly unlikely you are infected.

I can understand being nervous about testing, but what good are you doing for yourself, be being too scared to test?

Here you are, all in knots, because you are making assumptions. Are you proposing to continue putting yourself through all this stress, convinced you are infected, without any concrete proof?

So instead of finding out for sure, you choose to make your life miserable, and more than likely for no reason.

You know what the worst to happen is. Thatís why you donít test. But, if indeed, you are infected you are putting off getting medical treatment. Testing positive is a major life altering event, but itís not by any means the end of the world.

Whatís the best to happen? You test negative. You can then stop obsessing about being infected.

I suppose when the stress of not knowing anything for sure, out weighs the fear of the unknown you will test. But is it worth it to put yourself through all this stress in the process?

Either way, you are better off with the facts.

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Re: im so scared please help new
      #57656 - 02/07/03 12:37 PM

yes, i did misread your post and i reposted that above - sorry. you still are so so so low risk.

also, read and believe what jackie-blue wrote.
jack is always right!


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Reged: 04/16/01
Posts: 438
Loc: Boston
Re: im so scared please help new
      #57659 - 02/07/03 02:33 PM

Hey, I have to agree with what Jackie wrote. I'm just putting in my two cents just for moral support.

Your exposures, as you described them, are low risk.

Please don't try to get caught up on the "how much pre-cum is dangerous" question. It's impossible to answer. There is HIV in pre-cum just like there are small amounts of sperm in per-cum. There are so many factors that it's impossible to calculate at what point it becomes a risk.

You say you have been with a total of 9 guys but not sure over what time frame, when was the last time you preformed oral sex on a guy? How long has it been between the time you were with a guy and your gums started to bleed? It's possible that an STD could cause your gums to bleed. However there are also lots of other reasons for your gums to bleed and it means nothing in regard to HIV.

Asking "how easy is it to contract HIV?" the only answer I can give is "how easy is it to get pregnant?" there are people out there who try over and over again with no luck and there are people who use a condom which breaks or the guy doesnít pull out quickly enough when he cums and the girl ends up pregnant. There's no easy answer to how easy it is to become infected. It all depends on the circumstances.

There are no doctors on here, several of us, Jackie, myself and Gman have been positive for several years and we try to help answer questions on here just because we like to try to help people.

You say you are going nuts and I can tell youíre under a great deal of stress, which is not good for you. You NEED to do two things in my opinion. 1) Go get tested, ask a friend to go with you, Find someone in your area who's already positive and talk to him or her and see if they will go with you, or just go alone, which ever works and get a test. Seeing the negative result will help a lot. 2) Talk to a counselor about your Fear of HIV and how to deal with the stress that it causes on your life.

I have seen so many people on here whose lives have been destroyed by Stress; they have lost their jobs, families, and friends and all over a fear of a disease, which they didnít even, have.

Finally I want to say that while HIV is not a disease that I would wish on anyone, it's not the end of the world. Just look at myself, Jackie and Gman, we all are positive, work, raise families, go out with friends and have good lives. There were things that we had to change in our lives, but we're all very strong and healthy and happy.

Good luck and please let us know if you go in for testing and what the results are. Also just out of personal curiosity are you male or female and how old are you?


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