About the guy touching his condom.... - TheBody.com's Bulletin Boards

...(also known as the paper cutter).

I think I am the only person who can relate to this guy, and I really think he does have to worry about disease. Unfortunately, he's worrying about the wrong one. The disease that he has is one I also suffer from, also known as obsessive-compulsive disorder. It's a shame that he doesn't realize that this disease is more real in his own life than HIV ever could be, and how damaging the effects of OCD can be. This is my first time (and only time) posting, and I hope I can help some people before OCD engulfs their lives.

I have had OCD for as long as I can remember, and have worried about unrealistic situations all my life....Even the end of the world when I was younger. HIV never became a reality until earlier this year, when I dry kissed a girl that had sex with a guy that has HIV. After this happened, my mind went to work, and I thought about implausible situations, ie, us both having bleeding lips when we kissed and this transferring the disease to me. I went to work on the internet as well, looking up every stitch of information possible. After reading some information, I also starting worrying about other possible scenarios. I was worried about a situation 4 years earlier, the only time I have ever engaged in sex. I was protected, but I fingered her before, and I worried that I may have transferred her vaginal fluids to the condom when I put it on. I went to the doctor to ask for his opinion, and he laughed, stating how impossible it was, and that the nonoxynol-9 on the condom killed the virus. But OCD leaves someone with excessive doubt, OCD's most damaging trait: I couldn't leave it alone there. I started finding more information, but still wouldn't believe it. Eventually, and unfortunately, I started asking my friends, and even my parents.....Not once, but repeatedly. I would even ask them to check if my damn glands were swollen. After a while they no longer saw me as the close, uplifting friend they have always had, but rather a remorseful, ignorant, selfish shithead who was more concerned with my fictuous epidemic than with my relationships with them. They had the same reaction as the people on the board, except.....These were the people in my life. This disease ruined my life. I have recently sought out counseling to deal with my HIV fears, and it has helped me immensely. I still have a little ways to go to completely eradicate my fears, but counseling has definitely helped me rationalize things. I just hope I can put my life back together after I do.

So, to you paper cutters out there....If you have a question, post it here. The people are great, and everyone (EVERYONE) is willing to help. But if you address your question more than once, say two, five, or eight times, please, find counseling before you turn into the same ignorant, remorseful piece of [censored] I had turned into. Do it for the sake of the people here, because there are more important issues to tackle here. However, do it for yourself most importantly, before the fiction in your life begins to outweigh the inevitibles. And if I see a question from you again, Mr. Paper Cutter, I will not feel anger like many people already have, but rather sorrow, because it's truly painful to see someone take the same depressing path that I have taken over the past six months.

I hope this helps to keep repetition from dominating this board.

Post Extras: Remind Me!