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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Anonymous
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guilt and shame killing me
      #53873 - 01/05/03 02:59 PM

I know that everyone has to be tired of hearing from me, but I feel like dying! I just don't know how to go on! I am the married guy that let another man perform oral sex on me and I put his penis in my mouth and then took it right out. I have no one to talk too and I called the CDC hotline and one guy told me that he didn't know what to tell me, then I called again and a woman told me that there is a possibility of hiv and other stds and I should test at 6 months. I am not going to make it 6 months. The guilt and shame is killing me! I feel like I am ready to just give in. I realize it sounds really stupid, but I can't get past this. Can anyone help me?



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Anonymous
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Re: guilt and shame killing me new
      #53892 - 01/05/03 03:27 PM

then why does the body and the cdc both say there are documented cases of oral transmission?



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Anonymous
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Re: guilt and shame killing me new
      #53894 - 01/05/03 03:31 PM

The CDC says six months b/c that's the maximum amount of time it would take to produce antibodies. Almost everyone produces antibodies by 3 months, more than 95% of people. They just say 6 months because that is the LONGEST POSSIBLE time it would take. A lot of people show antibodies before 3 months have past. You don't have to wait an entire 6 months. So just wait a couple more weeks and get tested. The negative result you get will put you more at ease. If you're still worried after that, then wait another month and test again. But if you reach the 6 month point and are still testing negative, you're absolutely not infected.



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Anonymous
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Re: guilt and shame killing me new
      #53900 - 01/05/03 04:04 PM

I just feel that I deserve to have this disease and I am so scared because of what I did in a moment of stupidity that it will end up killing me. I have already thought of suicide and that scares me too.



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Anonymous
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Re: guilt and shame killing me new
      #53912 - 01/05/03 04:24 PM

how many documented cases of hiv transmission through oral sex have there been?



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Anonymous
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Re: guilt and shame killing me new
      #53921 - 01/05/03 07:38 PM

I need a little perspective! Can anyone help? What are my chances of contracting HIV if the man was HIV + and I put his penis in my mouth and then took it out. what if there was precum?



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Anonymous
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Re: guilt and shame killing me new
      #53959 - 01/06/03 01:45 AM

If the man was in fact HIV+ (a pretty big assumption on your part), then it's not impossible to have become infected. But if he did not ejaculate in your mouth and you only had his penis in your mouth briefly, then the chances of you having contracted the virus are virtually nonexistant. There are no absolutes, only statistics. The statistics say that you're probably fine. Get tested after a few weeks and then get over all this. You're fine.



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Anonymous
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Re: guilt and shame killing me new
      #53964 - 01/06/03 06:50 AM

Get tested for other stds, you are at little risk for hiv. but other stds are easier to get.
and don't ever tell your wife. go into therapy and figure out why you are taking risks like this!



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Anonymous
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Re: guilt and shame killing me new
      #53969 - 01/06/03 09:33 AM

I've seen this same type of message on here many times. HIV is not what your really afraid of, it's the fact that you cheated on your wife, and not just cheated with another woman, but had sex with another guy. You feel you need to be punished for this indiscression and HIV seems to be the best punishment of choice. It in a lot of ways is your worse nightmare, it will make you a social outcast, ruin your relationship and end your life as you currently know it.

What you need to do instead of focusing on HIV is deal with the fact that for whatever reason you did something. It might be because you have always had latent homosexual feelings and you just thought you'd try it, it might be because you were drunk or just horny or a hundred of other reasons, I don't know. You might also be beating yourself up because you enjoyed it and the only way you can drive the desire to do it again out of your mind is to fill your troughs with fear over a virus that scares you.

Oral sex is considered very very low risk I don't know of any cases that were proven 100% to be caused by oral. Most of the time cases that are reported to be caused by oral turn up to also have other high risk activities. There have been a few people I have heard about that did very aggressive oral, deep throat with repeated guys over a weekend. I believe that this is a valid way to contract HIV, however just general oral is very low risk.

So what I'd recommend is go see a counselor, try to figure out why you wanted to mess around with this guy, once you solve that and get over the guilt of that the fear of HIV should disappear.

Good Luck




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