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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Anonymous
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very scared & alone
      #53837 - 01/05/03 12:16 PM

On a drunken night out I stupidly paid for a prostitute who works on the streets to give me unprotected oral sex – if that wasn’t bad enough after this act we had 2 deep kisses with tonues etc. I have read the various forums & answers & am aware this is low risk. However due to the following I am not so confident of being HIV-. The lady offered me protected or unprotected oral – I stupidly had unprotected oral to which she stated I could cum in her mouth. I am now thinking she must have had nothing to lose i.e. HIV+ and offered her other customers the same option. As well as the HIV risks from her what is my risk of contacting previous customers semen and HIV via that route. From my initial contact to the kisses must have been approximately 15 minutes. The following Wednesday I started to feel the need to spit a lot & then as the days went by I felt dehydrated, lips drying rapidly, very stringy saliva and white coating on my mouth. At times my mouth felt there was no saliva there at all I would drink water & feel dry ten minutes later, this finally more or less went back to normal 20 days later although still dryish in the morning on waking up and saliva still mucousy. I have been to the GU clinic & they state no STI’s present & have to wait to take HIV test. Now 3.5 wks since poss exposure I went to bed & woke half way through the night I went to the bathroom & spat in the sink – there was blood in my saliva not mounds of the stuff but def noticeable. This continued for the next 3 mornings & counting but when I am up & about during the day does’nt seem to occur when I spit. Could this be due to me constantly spitting & messing with my mouth in the previous days or is this wishful thinking? I am white with fear that I have contacted the HIV virus & am experiencing the seroconversion process - what else could it be? Is my immune system weakening due to HIV? My life is a mess I am quite highly strung at the best of times but now I have sleepless nights & find myself checking to see if I have skin blotches, swollen nodes (whatever they are!), blood in my saliva on the hour or at more regular intervals. As soon as I wake up I perform the scarey ritual of spitting in the sink & pulling up my t-shirt to check for rashes/blemishes etc. On top of this I find that I feel tired & fatigued when previously I was quite an active person. I live in the UK & my clinic will not test me before 12 weeks – can I /should I insist on a 6 week test?
Can anyone offer any comfort or even advice on how to reach the 12 week mark without going nuts?




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Anonymous
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Re: very scared & alone new
      #53838 - 01/05/03 12:50 PM

Hi, I guess anxiety play a big part of your so called signs of HIV. The possibilty of contracting HIV based on what you have descripted is very little.
I suggest you put this aside for a while, I know talk is easy. Go get something to occupy your time, you may also need some medication to put you to sleep and stop thinking of non-sense. I too have experience the same situation and end up live in crazy life for quite a while. Take care and be careful next time.



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Anonymous
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Re: very scared & alone new
      #53841 - 01/05/03 01:36 PM

Thanks will try to do so although don't know how.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: very scared & alone new
      #53842 - 01/05/03 01:47 PM

Hey uk, i did the same thing when i was taking a course in tampa florida. Just minding my own business and taking a class at a best western and boom this cute little girl approaches me and wants to play. She had a story that she was on vacation from vermont and when we met at the pool later she told me what she really wanted. She was to cute to pass up and i didnt think that i could get hiv from oral sex but when i called the cdc they told me its possible. I totally lost it and symptoms started popping up. Swollen glands, rash, white tough, tired all the time and could not sleep. Then i tested negative at three months and felt better but my mind kept me sick so what im trying to say is pay attention to what you do to your self to create symptoms. Like pushing on your glands will make them swell, or drinking milk and not brushing causes white tounge. Worrying will make your tired and cause lack of sleep. Fungus from feet when scratched can pass a rash some where else on your body. Hey we all make mistakes, and you will be alright, your at low risk level. Be cool.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: very scared & alone new
      #53843 - 01/05/03 02:17 PM

Thanks its always good to hear positive (excuse the pun)
stories re such incidents - if I get through this and get the right result I swear I will be a better and different man - peace & thanks for the postings.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: very scared & alone new
      #53916 - 01/05/03 05:20 PM

Hey uk, if you feel like you need peace of mind just keep posting we will help you through this. It helped me. Just one more thing, when you were deep kissing this girl did you taste blood? I know its hard to remember on a drunking night but try.



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KitG
Expert

Reged: 01/15/01
Posts: 103
Re: very scared & alone new
      #53973 - 01/06/03 10:25 AM

"Can anyone offer any comfort or even advice on how to reach the 12 week mark without going nuts?"

OK I'll do my best!

The first and most obvious thing to say, but what is also probably going to be most unconvincing for you, is that in over 20 years of the most well documented and examined epidemic in human history, ie HIV/AIDS, there has been NOT ONE documented case of ANYONE getting HIV from receiving a blow job. Might be hard to believe but it's true.

The reason I say "unconvincing" is because I know from experience how this works and how you will come up with all sorts of reasons why you might be different. And as you've given details of your experience, I'll give my opinions.

You had unprotected oral sex and two deep kisses from a street working prostitute. OK you say she might have had nothing to lose ie HIV+, but what she offered is nothing too unusual from the point of view of a street worker. If she really had nothing to lose, and if that's the way her mind was working, she would have offered unprotected vaginal or anal.

Remember the vast majority of street workers are HIV negative, wherever you are in the UK. OK often a majority might be drug users, maybe injecting drug users, but still, the bigger problem for them is HepC, not HIV, and from your point of view, you won't have been at risk of getting Hepc, just as you weren't at risk from getting HIV. Easy for me to say though eh!

As for your risk of contacting HIV from her previous customers, well no, it just doesn't work that way. HIV is such a fragile virus, and also the image you have is of street workers going through the night with more and more quantities of semen in their mouths. No way.

You've described some symptoms or bodily reactions you've had since then or since a few days after. I can honestly say to you that I experienced every symptom you experienced, apart from the blood in the saliva. But then I've never ever read that as any symptom to do with recent HIV infection, so I think you can discount that totally in relation to HIV. Something else maybe, and sometimes I've had blood in my mouth, God knows why, but I know it's nothing to do with HIV.

As worrying as your symptoms are to you, nothing you have described suggests a seroconversion process. Just in the same way that your possible exposure risk is one that just doesn't seem to result in people being infected.

Those two things taken together say that you are not infected. But I know from experience that that that in itself won't totally reassure you. But I hope it gives you at least some reassurance, because it really should do.

You ask "what else could it be?" I say you are going through a similar thing as so many other people who been her, myself included. Symptoms we've never experienced before, not because it's HIV, but because it's something that we've simply never been through before. It's horrible. It's scary. It's with you 24 hours a day. It plays havoc with your body and mind. You come to the conclusion it must be HIV. And understandably, given what you're feeling, what you're going through. But there are so so many stories here on this board of people who have gone through the same as what you're going through, sometimes less risk, sometimes more risk. And all of them HIV negative.

Your account of waking up and checking for rashes and blemishes took me right back to more than two years or so ago when I was doing just the same thing. Plus your feelings of tiredness and fatigue, I never felt that so much before or since.

I live in the UK too and I'm amazed your clinic won't test you before 12 weeks. Yes, you should be able to get a test earlier, at 6 weeks or whenever. 6 weeks with today's tests is "an excellent indicator" as I was told, even though I didn't believe it at the time! Obviously they were right all along.

Take care
KitG



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jan
Unregistered

Re: very scared & alone new
      #54108 - 01/07/03 06:28 AM

hey uk, one thing you should remember too is that anyone who's HIV+ has A LOT to lose by exposing themselves to other infections. with a compromised immune system any STI (any infection for that matter) becomes a way bigger problem for the body to deal with.
here's hoping you're okay. j.



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