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TheVOICE
Unregistered

Tests and Anxiety...rambling
      #4922 - 06/05/00 03:46 PM

I've been posting messages on and off over the last several weeks (recently as "TheVOICE"). Most of my input has been in support of the 3 month definitive window period. I have come to my conclusion based on lots of research, some discussions with top doctors and researchers I trust, and my own gut feeling. I know that if someone came to me and said, "I tested negative at 3 months," or, "I tested negative on a PCR/viral load at 6 weeks," I would tell them to relax...you are negative.

Yet I find it hard to tell myself the same! I have tested negative on a 10 week ELISA and a 9 week PCR and p24. I am told that the combination of these tests puts me in the virtually "certain" category. But when the mind has latched on to a different certainty, it is REALLY tough to let go!

Mark2000 has made reference to "self-limiting viruses," and others have recounted tales of nagging symptoms which turned out to be non-HIV related. But the REAL symptoms, ie. body aches (my shoulders often feel as if someone has driven a nail through them!), fatigue, tender nodes are impossible to ignore. Every time one of them surfaces I hear "HIV" ringing in my head. What explains odd symptoms over two months after an exposure?? Did we always have body aches, etc. like these but since we hadn't engaged in risky behavior we never noticed them previously??

I'm testing weekly now...crazy I know, especially since I'm paying for the tests ($45.00 to get the results within 24 hours). But each test result gives me a few days of peace. My test on Thursday will be 81 (approx. 12 weeks) days since a high risk exposure and 75 days since a low risk exposure. I want to believe that I'll accept these results as final, but I know myself better than that. I'll be back testing the next week.

Peace.





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Mark 2000
Unregistered

Re: Tests and Anxiety...rambling new
      #4939 - 06/05/00 07:07 PM

I am in the same boat. I constantly test and yet no result ever satisfies me. This week I will do a final antibody test at 13 weeks. That's it and I am done. I hope I practice what I preach and just accept the negative results.



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Tired
Unregistered

Re: Tests and Anxiety...rambling new
      #4941 - 06/05/00 07:24 PM

I am sure you are fine. Stress can cause the symptoms you are having. Relax and I am sure everything will turn out fine. You will be in my thoughts and prayers this week.

Tired



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Worried 2000
Unregistered

Re: Tests and Anxiety...rambling new
      #4945 - 06/05/00 09:25 PM

Hi everyone. I broke down today and went in for a test. I had hoped to stick it out one more week, thus giving me 17+, but I went today and so it was at 16 weeks 3 days.

Part of me thinks that if I were in Canada, I would certainly move on with everything. Another part of me thinks that if I hadn't been checking websites I wouldn't have worried past 3 months either.

I think the further I move along in these months between 3 and 6, I will increasingly feel better. I mean, all of you have been so kind. You have constantly reassured me even prior to 3 months, and now that I am at 3 you have continuously told me 3 mos is conclusive.

Thank you for that.

I guess I'm locked into testing through to 6 months. I should get these latest results back Thursday at the latest. That will help me feel much better, assuming they are negative!

I go through all the same feelings that many of you have expressed. I let somebody else have the keys to my life. I should have been smarter. I lost sight of things in life, small things, that are important to me. I feel such tremendous guilt.

Are there people out here who are gay or bi? Do you tend to worry about oral sex? Probably, as this was my first oral experience with a man, it has worried me more than rationally it should have. (I don't think I'll do it again).

This has just been such a difficult period for me.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Tests and Anxiety...rambling new
      #4951 - 06/05/00 10:21 PM

I tested negative after 3mo following a risky situation. I tested because I developed a severe illness, swollen nodes, rash, thrush, fever, aches.. you name it.. I am convinced that my body is seroconverting.. I have always been a heathy person and have never had such wierd symptoms. My nodes ache through out the day and have gotten quite large.. I also have an all over body rash that comes and goes.. I really don't know what else it could be, and the symptoms are not in my head.. I have even woke up to the strange rash.. it is really there.. any comments??



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Tests and Anxiety...rambling new
      #4957 - 06/05/00 10:43 PM

Have you talk to a doctor about this. It would be very unlikely to still have those symptoms at this stage when virtually all people would have seroconverted. At least most most most of the people, like 99%.



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Mark 2000
Unregistered

Re: Tests and Anxiety...rambling new
      #4965 - 06/06/00 12:07 AM

How long have your symptoms lasted? When did they start in relation to your exposure? I have experienced very similar symptoms except for the rash and fever. My nodes were quite swollen and they hurt, but have since subsided. Have you seen a doctor? ARS at 3 months sounds highly unlikely. I have said this before, but I believe it helps some people to hear it. The chances that you have a limited, nondescript virus are much greater than you testing positive for HIV. See you doctor and have him/her examine you. Also, stress can produce REAL symptoms and it can lower your immune system to the point where viruses can cause havoc. Remember, just because you catch a virus does not mean it is HIV or fatal. There are thousands of them out there! One other quick question: What was your possible exposure?



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