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crazy_person
New User

Reged: 09/29/02
Posts: 19
Moving on? How?
      #46933 - 12/06/02 07:42 AM

As you may or may not remember, my 6 month ELISA was negative. I need to move on with my life. I am still suffering alot with oral, GI, and neurological problems that came upon me after a low-risk encounter with a person of unknown status. These symptoms are a constant reminder that I have HIV - even though I don't. It doesn't help that when you look up symptomatic HIV on the internet, my symptoms fall exactly in line with what is given - esophageal candidiasis, peripheral neuropathy, diarrhea, weight loss, appetite loss, dysphagia, hairy tongue, burning mouth, molluscum, low lymphocytes, on and on. Oh how I want to move on and put this behind me, but I'm so sick without a diagnosis. I know that stress is a killer, and I expect to go early anyway from a heart attack because of the tremendous stress these 6 months have placed on me, but I can not believe that stress alone can cause such perfectly HIV aligned symptoms. All I want to do is hide away under the covers in my bed, or surf the internet for more distressing information on what to expect next - KS, Blindness, PCP, etc. I'm constantly noticing new moles and spots on my skin that were probably there all along, etc. I'm at the point of a total nervous breakdown and psychiatric therapy doesn't seem to be helping, nor do the depression medications. I'm not looking for pity, so please don't flame me for being a crybaby. I'm truly desperate for a difinitive answer - like the other poster asked "If not HIV, then what?" I ask the same question but include "with all of these HIV related symptoms?" Basically, there is no doubt in my mind that I'm infected, regardless of the science that proves I'm not. Whenever I have see a Dr. who inspects me and says "you'll be fine, you don't have HIV", I think "another idiot who wouldn't know HIV if it hit him in the face, why can't he see that I clearly must have HIV?". I'm not sure why I'm writing this, as I really don't have any question to ask, just looking for suggestions on how others have moved on with their lives, and plus, it helps me to write about my situation. If nothing else, this post will show other board members the mental pathology of someone convinced they are positive when all standardly applied science shows they are not. Thank you all for listening.

Crazy_person.




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Anxiety
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Re: Moving on? How? new
      #46935 - 12/06/02 09:09 AM

Believe me you are not alone. It has been 3 months now since I have had my negative test at 7 months. I still cant let it go due to symptoms. But I am too scared to go back and test again because it will only confirm my fears.

I think we need mental counseling, post traumatic stress is a very big problem...



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Anonymous
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Re: Moving on? How? new
      #46937 - 12/06/02 10:04 AM

I am with you guys, 14 weeks i came up negative but still have physical problems. I cant keep my food in my stomach. I was told that this test is 90% accurate but still have some testing to do.



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Derrick
Unregistered

90% new
      #46939 - 12/06/02 12:25 PM

Unless they were using a test from 1988 you are negative. whoever tested you and told you a 14 month test is 90% accurate knows nothing about testing or HIV for that fact. If you have tested outside of 3 months please know that you are more likely to get hit by a bus than show positive later. Hope this helps! Keep your head up and get tested only once at more at 6 months to help you move on- not to get an accurate test because you already have one!!! MOVING ON IS HARD TO DO- BUT THINK ABOUT IT_ YOU WANT TO FIND OUT YOUR NEG BECAUSE YOU WANT TO MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE_ - complete this journey by doing whatever it takes to move on- but don't keep searching the net and questioning new Docs because that obviosly doesnt help



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Anonymous
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Re: 90% new
      #46944 - 12/06/02 01:12 PM

Thats 14 weeks nots months. I hope your right and thanks.



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Anonymous
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Re: 90% new
      #46947 - 12/06/02 01:34 PM

sorry thats what I meant 14 weeks or just 90 days plus



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Anonymous
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Re: 90% new
      #46952 - 12/06/02 02:35 PM

to u all, wake up... i hav eben there know what u r talking abt but after 10 hiv tests and sleepness nights i said bullShit i am not letting fear rule my life.... but it kep coming bse i had this great career ahead of me and could not keep thinking i had blown it up but osmone said yes the breain is the most easlily corruptable thing, hypnotise it to make u think u r taking whisky and u will get dead tipsy.. so it's abt the brain reclaim that part of u the fear took a way, bse when u exposed yrself u lost a psrt of u so when u find yrself back.. stand on top of a mt anf say [censored] u fear i am free.... and above all God wanted to let u got thru this... do u realsie now how much important yr lif eit? how muhc do u value life now? a billion times bse u have been there and u know how it is to loose it just in an instant... u r free... get the hell up and say f*** u to that fear it's all in yr head those demons



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Anonymous
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Re: 90% new
      #46968 - 12/06/02 04:17 PM

What are the odds of becoming positive after 3 1/2 month negative. Why do they still say get retested at 6 months when the 3 month is conclusive. I dont understand.



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Anonymous
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Re: To Crazy and other sick wells new
      #46974 - 12/06/02 05:16 PM

You talk about all the negative hiv results and yet you are still sick with umptine symptoms. You ask how can you move on with your life? Just THINK about how you would move on with your life if you were hiv-positive. How sick would you feel then? How would you get over a positive diagnosis?
You would not! Maybe you should stop what you are doing and just live for today as if today was your last day!



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Anonymous
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Re: Moving on? How? new
      #46978 - 12/06/02 05:31 PM

u need to just shut up, grow up and move on. Life is muhc bigger than that.



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peter
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Re: Moving on? How? new
      #46985 - 12/06/02 05:41 PM

crazy - I've had all your symptoms and have wasted a whole year wondering the same thing. Let me save you time and money. my last test was about 4 months ago after one year of exposure. I tested negative 5 times. I visited 7 doctors, 2 of which are HIV/AIDS specialists. I finally am convinced that it's not HIV. your question is right on, WHAT IS IT THEN? I don't know, but after 6 months of symptoms, it all went away with a few minor exceptions that I can live with. What ever it is, it can't be HIV because my tests are conclusive. As long as it doesn't kill me, I can manage a little discomfort once a while until someone figures out what it is.

The way to move on for me was to get busy and productive doing other stuff. I still visit this board about once a month to find out if progress have been made, otherwise, I don't think about it much. I promise you, you'll feel better mentally and physically if you can do the same.

Good luck. ptr.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Moving on? How? new
      #47280 - 12/07/02 07:31 PM

Dude, I feel like I'm in the same boat with you. I myself have had negative HIV antibody tests 7 and 8 months after exposure. All the doctors I've seen have told me that I surely do not have HIV. I got kinda sick after taking a round of antibiotics. I had the loose stools, often containing fat. I of course figured I had the malabsorption syndrome associated with AIDS patients. I lost about 10 pounds in 2 weeks also. I've had weird pin-prickly pains all over my extremeties, funky abdominal discomfort, bloating, etc. And like you, I've noticed spots on my skin here and there and have freaked, even though they've probably always been there. So far, I am undiagnosed with any disease or whatever that could be causing all this. I'm on two types of anti-anxiety medication (prescribed by my regular doc who probably thinks I'm crazy), and my weird body pains have pretty much gone away. I'm also having an much easier time sleeping now. So here I sit, sure that I have HIV or some HIV-related cancer or SOMETHING, yet the docs say no. They're currently exploring my digestive issues, which is somewhat comforting. But what I'm saying to you is this. What is happening to you and I is apparently pretty common. We get the idea of HIV, and we freak. Our minds and bodies go nuts, and our symptoms are conveniently those of HIV/AIDS. Think about the doctors though. I know there are some pretty bad ones out there, but that doesn't matter. Our medical knowledge comes from what we've read on the freaking INTERNET. How does our knowledge compare to that of doctors who have years and years of schooling and experience? The docs have seen it all, and if any one of them thought you had HIV, he/she would say so. The doc would have you sent to a specialist in an instant. So try and have a little faith in what the doctors suggest. If you can get yourself to calm down, I'm willing to bet that most of your symptoms will disappear just as some of mine have. Don't get me wrong. I'm just as worried about myself as you are worried about you. But the doctors know better than we do, and all we can do is have a little faith in them. Give it a shot.



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confused
Unregistered

Re: Moving on? How? new
      #47312 - 12/07/02 08:33 PM

I know what your going through I was the same as you and had all those symptoms.I tested neg at 6 months and beleived it for a few weeks then those symptoms got the best of me again.So then came more testing,7 months ,8 months 10 months,after the 10 month i pretty much felt i was neg.Then i tested 1 year and now I know i don't have hiv.Its the ongoing symptoms that get ya,if we didn't have them im sure most of us would have believed are 3 month test.All of you will move on because if you tested past 3 months your neg,it might just take more testing until your convinced.It took me 10 Months of hell for me to move on and one final test at 1 year to totally convince myself.I wasted this whole year worring about hiv day in and day out.If you have to test more you will,but you are NEG.No one has tested poz after a 3 month neg in years and you won't be the first it doesn't happen anymore. Don't wast anymore of your life,learn from your mistakes.



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