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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Getting tested
      #38452 - 08/19/02 03:23 PM

Hi,
Well, I'm going to get tested and I'm really scared. To the point where I'm having panic attacks. Let me give you the history. A little over a year ago I was date raped. At the hospital they told my parents that they had tested me for STD's, while in fact they only treated me for two (not sure which ones) Now I'm really scared. I just turned 18 and I'm not ready to face this sort of thing yet. My parents keep telling me I'll be okay, but what if I'm not? I really need someone to help me get through the waiting process. I cry all day and night. By the way, I have anxiety that was just recently diagnosed, so I'm not on medication yet(at least it hasn't started working yet) This makes it even harder because I constantly assume the worst in all situations. And assuming the worst about this subject has me on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Does anyone have any advice to help me through this? Thanks



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notanonymous
Grand Master

Reged: 04/19/02
Posts: 176
Re: Getting tested new
      #38458 - 08/19/02 04:06 PM

i can understand. first of all, once the anxiety medicine starts kicking in, it will help you deal much better, or at least it should but you will probably have your results by that time. just know that so many people have been through the same thing and are doing so right now. whether it was due to rape, drunkeness, and/or carelessness, you are not the only one on this board and many others. so know that you are not the only one going through this if that helps any. we are always here to talk and listen. remember, not everyone has HIV and other STD's are much easier to get and more prevelant. also remember, what has already happened is in the past and there is nothing you can do to change it. IF you have HIV, which you probably don't, worrying and fretting will not change that fact. whenever it comes to mind, try your best to think of something else. try to keep yourself busy and around people you care about and care about you. good luck and let us know how it turns out. by the way, when are you testing and when do you get your results?



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: testing inceases PANIC! new
      #38460 - 08/19/02 05:07 PM

I though the same way now I have even more panic and worry. I wish never EVER tested.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Anixiety Drugs are dangerous!! new
      #38461 - 08/19/02 05:10 PM

Stay of them. Once your on them your on for life. Getting off them can create mental breakdown episodes or more panic. Drugs are not the answer. Try hypnotherapy for panic attacks. It worked or me and no side-effects.



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profegghead
Unregistered

Re: testing inceases PANIC! new
      #38464 - 08/19/02 05:21 PM

knowledge is power,fear can destroy you,faster than AIDS.
Knowledge will keep you alive.
and with knowledge,in the future we shall be able to"knock out"hiv/aids...or at least disable it,"for good".




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Xander
All Star

Reged: 10/01/01
Posts: 75
Re: Getting tested new
      #38465 - 08/19/02 05:26 PM

I really feel for you. I am sure that being raped is an incredibly awful and stress-provoking crisis, and you have the anxieties of waiting for your test results now added onto that.

I do not know what resources you might have available. Do you live in a city that has free counselling services that you could take advantage of? Is there a women's center or rape hotline that you could contact? An organization like that may be able to help. You mention anxiety medication -- is it possible for you to talk at further length with the doctor who prescribed it (if I understood that correctly)?

I hope you can find someone soon to help you with your situation.



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Prof egghead
Unregistered

Re: Getting tested new
      #38467 - 08/19/02 05:40 PM

I was sorry to hear of your situation.It is a good idea to have an hiv test.im quite sure that after a "one of"exposure,you should be ok.we see many "discordent couples,one pos,the other neg.so transmission is never automatic ok.im surprised that the hospital never offered you a hiv test,especilly if it was rape,and the police were involved,as of course this is a criminal offence.
you should question the hospital.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Getting tested new
      #38468 - 08/19/02 05:46 PM

I just got back from being tested actually. I get the results back in 48 hours. I went to the doctors office and cried for an hour before they gave me the test. My doctor listened to all the details and said she thinks there's a good possibility I don't have it. I wish I could belive her, but I've pretty much already convinced myself that I have it. I've been a bit hypochondriacish my whole life, but this is a million times more serious so I am really just flipping out. I realized that the main reason I keep crying is because I have been judgmental in the past of people with this disease. I have spoken badley of them and maybe even inwardly blamed them. I feel so ashamed now because no one deserves to have to go through even thinking about this. Regardless of my test results I am going to work towards helping the awareness of HIV. I just want to tell all the people here who cope with this daily that you are incredibly brave and that I hope I can have you strength if the need be.



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Xander
All Star

Reged: 10/01/01
Posts: 75
Re: Getting tested new
      #38471 - 08/19/02 05:57 PM

The chances of hiv infection from a single potential exposure are small; thankfully, though, you will know your results for certain very quickly.

I am sure that it takes a great strength to recover from the situation you have been in. You do seem to be very insightful from your posting on here, so hopefully you will be able to draw on that insight and strength during the next two days while you wait for this. And I do hope you will be able to find a counsellor or hotline to talk with if you find that necessary.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Anixiety Drugs are dangerous!! new
      #38473 - 08/19/02 06:21 PM

i was raped too...and anxiety pills are all that keep me from flashing back or not sleeping.Just be careful and take a test a 12 weeks it will be negative and then you can start healing from this
Take CARE!!!!



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uhohblita
Guru

Reged: 05/02/02
Posts: 273
Re: Getting tested new
      #38477 - 08/19/02 07:40 PM

good luck with your tests. its probably the most difficult time of your life right now. you should feel better when you get your results back but i know it seems to take forever. i think you will be fine you sound like a very smart girl. dont be suprised if the anxiety meds give your side effects of their own. sometimes they can confused things even more, but they will probably help if you are really freaking on the point of mental breakdown. we're here for ya.

-uhoh



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notanonymous
Grand Master

Reged: 04/19/02
Posts: 176
Re: Getting tested new
      #38485 - 08/19/02 11:24 PM

i agree with xander on your insightfulness. it is brave of you to get tested and to come out and admit to the prejudice feelings you had before all of this. even if you were infected, (which you most likely are not) you could handle it and still live a good life. i am very happy that you don't have to wait a week or more for results like some of us have had to. it is only 2 days and it will be over then you can jump for joy. i believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason whether it is good or bad at the time. we will be awaiting your results. good luck!

~after winter must come spring~



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Getting tested new
      #38490 - 08/20/02 12:24 AM

Thank you all so much for being so nice. You have made me feel at least a little better. I'm still scared but I can't change the past or the future so I guess we shall see. I will definitley let you all know how it turns out. Thank you again.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Decided not to test after all.. new
      #38548 - 08/20/02 07:35 PM

got some good advice and thanks.



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