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likelihood of infection?
      #38448 - 08/19/02 06:50 PM

Hello all...

I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. We have had protected sex (always with a condom), Unprotected oral sex both ways (he has cum in my mouth), and he has rubbed his penis around the opening of my vagina (possibly with precum on it).

My boyfriend was tested a month before we got together (it was negative)...however, he had unprotected sex with 2 women (twice each) during the month before he took the test, making that within the window period. the sex was unprotected for about 5-7 seconds each time, and then he put a condom on.

I don't know why I'm freaking out about this now, and I have an appointment to get tested, but based on the type of sexual activity that my boyfriend and I currently have, what is the likelihood of infection? I'm hoping for some comforting words :)

Thanks very much!

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Reged: 04/19/02
Posts: 176
Re: likelihood of infection? new
      #38456 - 08/19/02 07:54 PM

wow, well first of all i have to say i am jealous because my wife won't let me cum in her mouth.
and this guy had 2 sex partners within months of starting out with you, i miss those days. ok, sorry, now to address your situation. you are a bit freaked out with some reason because a higher number of sexual partners does open the door for HIV and other STD's. BUT, you have a LOT of factors in your favor.

first, he had a negative hiv test, so that pretty much narrows it down to only 4 brief exposures with only 2 different people. second, the AVERAGE person will develop detectable antibodies to HIV within roughly 6 weeks if not sooner and rarely later. so even though the "official" window is 3 months to catch anyone taking longer, if he had the test let's say 7 weeks after his last encounter then that would be very reassuring. or at least it might knock one of the chics out of the picture. third, his exposure with the other ladies was very brief and not a lot of prolonged friction involved combined with the fact that it is much harder for males to get it from a female. i think i recall it takes like 1 in 400 episodes (correct me if i'm wrong) for a male to get it from straight sex based on some studies, although it could happen from one exposure. so, it is not so easy to catch it. fourth, it is a widespread disease and thousands of people get it a year and it is good to act like eveyone has it when fooling around with a new partner, but the reality is that odds are in your favor that he nor the women he was with would have it unless they are in high risk groups, IV drugs, homo/bisexual, etc. but, we are just talking odds here, it could and does happen which is why heterosexual numbers are on the rise. ok, last but not least, is the concern about you IF he has HIV. using condoms almost totally eliminates the possibility of transmission from intercourse, good for you, very good habit. oral is on the low risk of the scale. there is a lot of debate about infection this way. some older studies say that it happens (higher risk with ejaculation) although not near as risky as intercourse. some recent studies show that the risk is "practically nonexistent":

and as far as the rubbing and precum on your vagina, that is almost no risk as well, but not completely free of risk. like i referenced earlier, it takes friction and direct contact for transmission to occur. if it was that contagious people would become infected a lot more often than what is actually the case. i have read many forums, boards, from "experts" and people like us and it just doesn't happen this way, although it is remotley possible. hope i covered all the bases and i have to get back to work. also hope this helps and good luck with the testing and best of luck on a long and healthy relationship if that is what you want.

disclaimers: i'm not a doctor, i should have listened to my own advice a long time ago (since i was convinced i was infected), and ignore some of the jerks on this board and the ones that don't believe HIV exists.......their pretty easy to spot. take care and rest easy, most likely you are just fine.

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Re: likelihood of protection? new
      #38476 - 08/19/02 11:13 PM

Anitbodies allways indicate "protection" from disease thats the whole point of vaccination to make you antibody positive and the reason they are developing an AIDS baccine to make you anitbody positive.

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see what i mean........... new
      #38483 - 08/20/02 03:10 AM

"ignore some of the jerks on this board and the ones that don't believe HIV exists.......their pretty easy to spot."

-notanonymous (too lazy to sign in)

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Re: likelihood of infection? new
      #38484 - 08/20/02 03:16 AM

Thank you for your kind definitely eased my mind! there should be more people out there like you who would take the time to comfort a complete stranger. best of luck to you!

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