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Extremelyunlucky
Unregistered

when your partner starts experiencing symptoms..
      #36048 - 06/20/02 03:00 AM

A number of posters have reported their partner experiencing similar symptoms to themselves and which are suggestive of ars. I am one of them. Stupidly I haven't mentioned my hiv fears in any great detail - initially because I didn't even consider it, then when I did think hiv I thought I should wait for the test so that I did not unneccessarily alarm my wife, and now after testing negative at 9 and 12 weeks but as symptomatic as ever with fatigue, burning/tingling peripheries, blocked ears and dizziness, I'm in so deep I don't know what to do. Things have pretty much been destroyed anyway by my odd preoccupied behaviour, hours on the net, disinterest in sex etc and I guess being open is always best, but I would be interested in hearing of others' experiencing including going through the process of testing with your partner.



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Magnus
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Re: when your partner starts experiencing symptoms.. new
      #36055 - 06/20/02 08:51 AM

If you have tested at or after 12 weeks with a antibody test and the result is negative, You are negative. Thrust the scientists. Why so worried so much about hiv when you have tested negative at 12 weeks? You are negative, please try to spend time with your wife and move on because even if you test at 6 months the test would not be 100% accurate. Their is no scientifical evidence that at 6 months test is better than a 3 months test and that why sweden uses 3 months for a conclusive test result and also because we haven´t had anyone taken longer than 3 months since 1985.



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KitG
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Reged: 01/15/01
Posts: 103
Re: when your partner starts experiencing symptoms.. new
      #36058 - 06/20/02 09:25 AM

A 12 week test after a "very low risk encounter" means you are HIV negative. So I think it's a good thing you haven't mentioned it and I also think you don't need to even consider the process of getting tested together. It sounds totally unnecessary.

To be honest, a far more likely reason for your wife's symptoms could be a reaction to how you've been, your "odd preoccupied behaviour, hours on the net, disinterest in sex". I'm sure she's noticed this and has been concerned, and over a few weeks, it would show up. Her symptoms you describe, nightmares, tiredness, forgetfulness, not being herself, sound like symptoms of stress, anxiety, worry, whatever you want to call it.

Plus I'm sure you'll be more heightened to looking out not only for your own symptoms, but any possible ones she may be experiencing.

I think the best thing you can do both for yourself and for your wife is to accept your results and realise that the symptoms you both have are directly or indirectly due to your own experiences of severe stress, worry, anxiety.

You can't undo what's happened but what do you think is best, reveal all, go for unnecessary tests and put more strain on your marriage, or accept the result, learn from it yourself, and move on and work towards getting both of you to enjoy life again?

Others may disagree but I would go for the second option.



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Jamie
Unregistered

Re: when your partner starts experiencing symptoms.. new
      #36060 - 06/20/02 09:39 AM

I am a female and my personal experience was a one time unprotected encounter. I decided to tell my husband so I could get things out in the open. We were having a very difficult time in our realationship. It has been 6 months and things between us are good. Better than when we were first married. It still hurts him which kills me but I think we are going to make it. It is up to you what to do, some people are forgiving and some are not. I have tested negative 6 months. I don't want to concentrate on symptoms so I will not list them. It took me a while not to be obsessed with symptoms, now I am much better. Hope I helped!!!



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TerryD
Unregistered

Re: when your partner starts experiencing symptoms.. new
      #36124 - 06/20/02 04:15 PM

now concentrate on your spelling.



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Extremelyunlucky
Unregistered

Re: when your partner starts experiencing symptoms.. new
      #36168 - 06/21/02 12:19 AM

Thanks for your advice. Magnus, here in Australia we have a 12 week window and people say if you get tested after 12 weeks then it is not for any good medical reason, but I think there are exceptions. Where do you get that data that says noone in Sweden has taken longer than 12 weeks to seroconvert?

My problem is that such a coincidence is uncanny. I know stress causes sleep disturbance, nightmares etc but the combination of "vivid nightmares", itching under the arms, vague/forgetfulness still seems to point to ARS. It is driving me insane. Just me, OK - I can live with that. But me, my wife and a 3 year old, that I can't handle.

Jamie, I know you don't want to talk about symptoms but I'd be interested to hear what you thought/imagined/noticed.



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