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JOHN IN LONDON
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I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!PLEASE HELP ME KIND PEOPLE.
#35670 - 06/13/02 01:48 PM
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I just cant take this pressure anymore,im really,really tired of my problems with hiv,and the worry etc.
ive been to the best hospital,and doctors i could find,
and im still in the same position.i just want my life back,oh god help me,im so very,very sad,ive spent all my savings on BDNA AND DNA TESTS,NOTHING FOUND,antibody still neg,exposure was 23 june or 14 july max 01.ive been unwell since 19 july 01,raised liver enzymes,pn in feet.rahes,upset stomach,i find that im just fighting the doctors to find out whats wrong with me.i saw a proffesser ,in london,the chairman of the bhiva,himself,
he just said i was pathetic,i cried,my heart is so full of fear and darkness,i have adaughter,somtimes i look at her photo and cry,im so desperate.im so lonely.if anyone wants to e-mail then your wellcome.my e-mail is machinemusic@lycos.co.uk love to everyone reading this. john
ps my last test was on the 11/06/02.
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John,
Calm down first of all. Second of all, there are MANY things that can cause your symptoms, namely STRESS. Anytime you worry about something like that, you can literally make yourself sick. You are telling yourself you have HIV, so your body is basically going along with it. You don't have HIV. Your tests have proven that countless times. You are going to worry yourself to death here. I have a philosopy, live each day to the fullest. Take one day at a time and do your best. This darkness that you have created for yourself is making you sick, not HIV. When you believe in something, it is created for you. In otherwords, it proves it for you by mimicing the symptoms you are having now for example. Don't let this control your life. Be thankful that your test results came out negative. Don't stress over something that isn't a problem. You are FINE. I used to do that too. Where I thought I had HIV only to find out that I really didn't. I stressed over nothing. I wasted my time when I could have been productive, or out having fun. Don't fall into this deception that has been created. Please listen to me and understand that I have been there. Don't let this control you. Take control of your own life.
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thankyou,god bless you. john
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Hi John,
YOU ARE IN SERIOUSLY NEED FOR COUNCELLING!! Your greatest problem right now properlly is not hiv, u'r most properlly hiv negative, what you need is psychological help!! If testing at 12 months make you more comfortable, then do it, but in the mean time, go find yourself a good councellor, seek psychological help!! God Bless
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John,
You say that your last test was in June which is about 11 months or so since your exposure. Please remind me of your exposure? You have repeatly tested negative by ELISA and PCR DNA. In the rarest of rare event of someone not producing antibodies that would be detectable by this point the DNA test would pick something up. You have deviated from the clear fact that you are indeed HIV negative. It's an interesting frame of mind as I too suffer from this, it's due to a huge uncertainty that we feel hangs over us that in fact is'nt really there. Basically what happened is that you got wind of a rumour that HIV serconversion can take longer than 6 months, it's happened twice and both times it related to quite unusual circumstances. You say that you have Hep C, the doctors would have taken this into account while evaluating your case and acted accordingly, they know what they're doing. The aggressive testing you have taken would have yielded something if you were infected with HIV. You've tested the crap out of yourself with the best tests ever produced in medicine and come up negative, think about it, take a deep breath and relax. Talk to a mental health professional as I have done about what you are going through, they'll give you some perspective as they have seen this exact problem a thousand times. John, I've gone through this and it's torture. I posted earlier asking someone to support their claim that their have been 55 delayed serconversions over the last 12 years and they could not support it, they made it up. If it has happened it's to do with the inferior testing that was out way back, it's not the biology but the test that went wrong, even then it has only happened twice. The new tests do not let anyone throught the net without being caught.
Believe what the CDC have stated, they have nothing to gain from lying to us.
Regards,
Kevin
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Its noy hiv re-lated why are you obsessing???
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