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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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      #33299 - 04/29/02 06:37 PM

My wife has been [posting on this board for over 2 yrs and i have come to the realization i cant handle this anymoer she has had many hiv 1 test and a antigentest nat test hiv 2 test all which were from exposures back in 91,92,93,94 her last test was 2 weeks ago hiv 1 and 2 because she is now pregnant and because she is so convinced she is hiv pos she has called for abortion information this is destroying my life and hers she has never been sick in her life she has some symptoms i dont know if they are related to hiv or not bands arouind the gumline a few teeth and flacky dandruff on her face and eyebrows this started about 2 years ago i need someones advice is there any tests i could check on to make her see this is not hiv she is very serious about terminating this pregnancy and i feel so strong about it, i know she cant be hiv pos if she tested from 97 to 2002 after her exposures in 91-94 please tell me where to go from here im about ready to walk away because this has been ongoing for to long and im running out of support this is the last straw she is on this web site 24 hours a day someone please tell me how to show her she is not hiv pos

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Reged: 04/19/02
Posts: 176
Re: abortion new
      #33303 - 04/29/02 06:56 PM

make an appointment with a psychologist/counselor if she has not seen one before about this. that is what she needs IMO. sounds to be obsessive-compulsive or something, who knows. tell her you will go with her.

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Re: abortion new
      #33305 - 04/29/02 07:00 PM

There is no way she is positive with multiple tests outside the window period. I would suggest that she talks to an ID specialist that will put her mind at ease. If this doesn't work professional mental health counseling can be indicated. This is a fear that is very difficult to overcome, therapy can be an option (the best one so far, because in a few cases if one is pregnant tricyclic antidepressants and SSRI may be counterindicated, you should always discuss farmacologic options with a competent doctor).

Another thing to do is to assure her all your support.
Hope this helps.


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Re: abortion new
      #33316 - 04/29/02 09:57 PM

This is a side so many people here don't see. How their fear of HIV affects the ones that love them. Your wife needs help. If all she has ever had are antibody (ELISA) tests, I suppose she could get a PCR/RNA, it looks at the amount of virus in the blood or a PCR DNA, it looks for the presence of the HIV DNA.

If she has not been able to shake this fear of HIV with all her negative ELISA's there is a very good possiblity that she would not believe the results of these tests.

What she needs is not more testing. It will only increase her anxiety. She needs to see a mental health professional right away. You need to use whatever means you can to get her into one. Counseling would be a benefit to both of you.

You also admit that you are at the end of your rope and feel like giving up. Realize that the situation she has created for herself is certainly affecting you also. Even if you can't get her into counseling, get yourself there. You've got a lot of pent up frustration that needs to be dealt with. You have decisions you may have to make. It's easier to make them, when your mind is clear.

I wish you strength and peace.

And off the subject just a bit. Needhelp02, does this help you any to see what you are putting your wife through?


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Re: abortion new
      #33355 - 04/30/02 05:20 AM

I your wife has been hanging around this board chances are she is conused and scared by all the people who make a connection with hiv for almost every illness out there. Many of these people are just scaring themselves and each other. AIDS is serious "syndrome" as is very difficult to aquire. If she had AIDS she would be very sick by now. I'm sure you have a healthy child i it not on the so-called "aids treatments".

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Reged: 02/25/02
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Re: abortion new
      #33377 - 04/30/02 02:53 PM

I'm certainly not in any position to offer advice considering my current position; however try to understand that the fear of hiv is utterly overwhelming and totally engulfing!. If she hasn't been succesful at believing her results (I presume that at your urging she tried with all of her might) maybe you can sit her down and discuss with her and find out (in her opinion) what exactly would it take to convince her of her neg status.

I do offer my sympathy.

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