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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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WorriedInMD
Newbie

Reged: 06/15/13
Posts: 2
Worst thing I heard recently...Surprise, I'm Undetectable!
      #272549 - 06/15/13 03:35 PM

So obviously when I was told by a guy that he was undetectable it was not cheerful like my topic. I am in a near panic right now because of this news. I would really like to hear from experts on how worried I should be about this scenario. I really appreciate everyone's input on this and thank you all, in advance.
So.....
Three and a half weeks ago, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to for several months. Over the course of our talks I asked him several times if he was clean and was told yes. Well, the evening went well and we had oral sex. We both ended up swallowing and that was that. We continued to talk and talked about taking things further when Thursday he said he had something to talk about. I got that "oh s***" feeling and he told me that he was "undetectable" and I had nothing to worry about, I would be perfectly fine.

So after being super pissed at him for telling me after our first encounter, and being mad at myself for being naive enough to take him at his word, I immediately got tested. I got both the standard antibody test and the PCR test since I believe that is the only one right now that can tell me if I contracted HIV from him this early on.

I have another close friend who is undetectable and he has been great at comforting me and telling me that I should be okay, and of course the guy who possibly infected me says I'll be fine, I really would like to hear the honest truth at how likely I am to have contracted it. He did finish and I swallowed it quickly, and he said his viral load is less than 15 which doesn't give me comfort since I have read that semen and blood viral load levels can differ. He has had it for several years and been on medication for that long as well. My concern is that I am a chronic lip chewer when I am nervous and so I'm always chewing the inside of my lips and I worry greatly about that being a point of entry. I have always been very selective about my partners and I'm so worried that this time has got my number. So now I wait in agony for 2-3 more days for the results of the PCR test. For those that know a lot more than I do about this, am I being overly dramatic and concerned about this? Obviously I take ZERO stock in what this guy says since he destroyed my trust by telling me about this after we were intimate so I have only my one friend to rely on for honest info and I guess I am the guy who likes to hear from multiple sources before I begin to relax. Thanks again to all who give me constructive feedback on this!



Edited by WorriedInMD (06/15/13 03:36 PM)

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kicker
Moderator

Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: Worst thing I heard recently...Surprise, I'm Undetectable! new
      #272550 - 06/15/13 05:07 PM

I'm going to ignore the ignorant statements you made in your post and pray your friend is either tough as nails or that you have the common sense not to say the same things you think are ok to say here to him.

If the guy has been on meds for years recent studies indicate that his semen viral load would most likely be undetectable as well. The instance of people who were infected by someone on successful treatment is on par with not knowing his actual status at all.

That said your chance of any infection is less than 1%. Try .01%. So you have 99.99% chance of not being infected by this encounter. Not say you aren't at all by any other encounter, obviously your "selective" behavior isn't fool proof like using protection 100% of the time. Since you choose to ask if someone is "clean" rather than be proactive in your health the most honest guess anyone can give you is you have a 50/50 chance at being negative in general. There is the honest answer.

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WorriedInMD
Newbie

Reged: 06/15/13
Posts: 2
Re: Worst thing I heard recently...Surprise, I'm Undetectable! new
      #272551 - 06/15/13 06:05 PM

Thanks you for pointing out my poor choice of words Kicker. I meant no offense by using the the word "clean" to anyone and I sincerely apologize if I offended anyone with it. I should have stated that we had discussed neither of us having stds prior to our encounter. Again, sorry everyone for the inadvertent use of words. And a special thanks to kicker for supplying me with a very well written, informative response!

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kicker
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Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: Worst thing I heard recently...Surprise, I'm Undetectable! new
      #272552 - 06/15/13 06:18 PM

You're welcome.

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KTMcGhee
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Reged: 09/09/13
Posts: 2
Re: Worst thing I heard recently...Surprise, I'm Undetectable! new
      #273836 - 09/09/13 12:23 PM

Hey,
My partner and I are kinda in the same boat. We blew a guy (he came in my mouth, kissed me took his cum and kissed my partner). We found out after the fact that he was poz and undetectable. Our fault for not asking and having great communication with him, but we feel like he should have/could have mentioned it to us too. His online profile did say poz but we both overlooked it.

Prayers and good thoughts for you as we are about to get our 30 day test next week and then our 90 day test in November.

K.T.

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