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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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isam2016
Newbie

Reged: 05/29/13
Posts: 4
Should I Be worry?
      #272245 - 05/29/13 11:17 PM

Hi,

I am sorry for making this soooo long but please hear me out.

I'm a 21 year old gay male and I was tested yesterday. However, I have yet to receive my test results until next week. :/

reason I got tested was because the usual....i'm a bit of a hypochondriac and like many, I have went online and tried to diagnosed myself just by reading the symptoms of HIV.

my last sexual encounter was april 22, 2013 - with a dude but we didn't do much. It was pretty much just oral and play but it was unprotected...just like the two before them. it was my third relations encounter since my last HIV test (Nov '12).

Edit: I never "swallow" and I am not a big fan of anal sex, whether giving or getting. Just oral here and there, kissing too.


however, just recently, I've noticed several symptoms here and there that could have some logical explanation either way. for example, i don't know since when but I been waking up with a sore throat.

I also noticed a few episodes of night sweats at nights.
I've also been noticing some headaches and also, just a little while ago, I noticed some pain in my mouth. Specifically, my teeth and jaw but I'll get to that later. I also noticed that sometimes the front sides of my neck ache a little bit and I am not sure if my lymph nodes are swollen or not. I feel nothing swollen or anything but I am not sure.

Just the other night, I've noticed some aches and pains in my upper back and also in my legs. Another thing, I've noticing I been sneezing a lot and feeling stuff.

But like I said, I am such a nervous wreck that I making myself believe all those things. basically it's me overreacting since I'm already under this HIV scare.
but yet I tell myself that there's explanations to these things.

maybe the headaches, toothaches and jaw pain could be that my wisdom teeth are bothering me and need to be extracted. My dentist did told me this last time I saw him in March and he asked if I was going to get those extracted which I replied maybe later. same with the pains and aches in my neck. it's probably such a problem that it's aching my neck as well.

the sore throat and sneezing - hey! it's allergy season and as a child, I grew up with asthma. I live in Texas. spring came way late. Plus I been drinking a lot of cold water and sleeping with the window A/C on which could be making me sick. speaking of sleeping, it is getting hot here in Texas so could be that the reason why I woke up in night sweats. but one of these night, I woke up in a night sweat but the window A/C was on and the room was freaking cold, yet I was still sweating. And I wasn't even covered with blankets.

As for the upper back aches and leg pains, sometimes I lay in bed in uncomfortable positions which hurts my back. And I like to run and exercise a lot which puts a burden on my legs.

My stomach also been aching. Sometimes cramps. Also I've noticed my stools have been loose and soft. Diarrhea? Nothing too extreme though. Maybe I have ate something bad. I was consuming whey protein too so maybe it's that. the thing is that I have had digestive problems for a very long, long time now so I don't know if I should consider this or not. Also recently, sometimes I feel nauseated but I never vomit. but after a burp or too, the nausea feeling goes away.

I last had an HIV test in November 2012 - came back negative. I was going to abstain from sex but stuff happens. I had three sexual encounters since then but were all unprotected oral sexual encounters. like i said, my last one was April 22, 2013. I was not drunk or anything - it just happened.

one thing that keeps popping up in my mind is the flu I had in January of this year. I got so sick that I missed college for half a week. I had crazy body aches, a bad sore throat, a fever that pitched like 100.4 F, headaches, nausea and I vomited just once but it was a medicine I took. I guess my body didn't like it because it did taste nasty. I didn't panic at the time because I had no reason to suspect it was HIV or something since I was tested negative just two months before so why panic? By the way, the doctor took a swab sample from my nose and diagnosed me with the flu - Flu strain "B". He claimed I had the worst case of the flu. There was an outbreak of the flu at the time in Jan'13 all over my town so I think I have no reason to worry...I think. my mom had the flu which she passed it on to me, which I passed the flu on to my nephew which he passed it on to my other nephew and I think my sister got it too.

Yet I still think about it from time to time and wonder if it was something else....

I'm just soooo nervous! I am so worried that test is going to return as HIV+. But I keep telling myself I don't have it because I haven't had those symptoms like others have mentioned such as the body rash, white patches on skin, ulcers, the fever and the "sick as a dog feeling". I been so preoccupied with this whole thing that it got me stressed out! I woke up early today, like at 4:30am because i was worry sick. same for yesterday. I even had a dream about it. in this dream, I am taking a shower and once I am done and finished, I step out of the shower and stand in front of the mirror. And I see all these white patches on my skin and sores all over my body. I probably had this dream because just the night before, I was googling these HIV symptoms and I guess it got to me. Like I said, I am so stressed out that before I started panicking about this, my skin has cleared up (I have acne problems) but now I am noticing a few breakouts on my forehead and chin.

I keep thinking about my "symptoms" but I always assure myself that there's an alternative explanation to all of this - wisdom teeth, stress, seasonal changes, allergies, and such. the flu I had in January also bothers me. keep thinking and wondering if I have seroconverted but yet again, the doctor swab my nose, ran some test and came back saying that I had a strain of the flu in me and it was the worst kind. He prescribed me Tamiflu but the pharmacy was all out and I have to get it at another pharmacy. however, it was so expensive at that other pharmacy, even wal-mart, that they wouldn't take my insurance so I fought my flu without my medicine. But the doctor has given me Tylenol on my visit and it took away the body aches and also some of the flu symptoms away. I felt better when I got home and I felt like myself. I felt like Tylenol was a good alternative. So after my ordeal with not getting my Tamiflu prescription, I just stuck to Tylenol and my flu went away within the next week or so.

I am just a huge nervous wreck! I have prayed and prayed. I tried and got my mind off of it and I can't. this really bites. I regret some things and i even told the testing administrator yesterday but he told me that we all been there where we regret stuff but that we're only human and should not beat ourselves up because of it. he assured me that we should just learn from my mistakes and make the best of it afterwards.

I get the results Monday, if not Friday. I have to call in first to ask them if the results have came in already. I found out they can give out the results over the phone now at my local clinic but here's the thing if the patient is positive, they don't do give the results out over the phone for HIV+ patients. The clinic would ask them to come in just to assure the patients are going to be okay. So I hope they don't tell me to come into the clinic so that phone call could go either ways.

I hope I am negative, I am sorry for making this so long but what do you guys think? Could I be positive? I am just in such a mess! I broke down in tears today while I was running on the treadmill, thinking I might be positive but I am just hoping that I am not.

Edited by isam2016 (05/29/13 11:20 PM)

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isam2016
Newbie

Reged: 05/29/13
Posts: 4
Re: Should I Be worry? new
      #272246 - 05/29/13 11:35 PM

I want to make sure that I have read and learn about HIV. I know about how it is transmitted and such so I know those things. The thing is that even though oral sex is a low risk, it's still a risk and that's why I am such a nervous wreck! I know blood, semen, vaginal fluids, and breast milk are what transmit the virus.

My concern is, could the virus spread through per-ejaculation fluids? I had no ulcers in my mouth that I know of during my encounters.

Also I read this somewhere but it was suggested not to brush your teeth after sex because it could tear up microtears in your gums which will be prone to infection.

Well after my last two encounters, I had no choice but to brush my teeth. I had to....risk?

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kicker
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Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1130
Loc: GA, USA
Re: Should I Be worry? new
      #272248 - 05/30/13 12:30 AM

That was an interesting way to ask your question to me at least. If you know what you have done then maybe you know it's just fear.

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isam2016
Newbie

Reged: 05/29/13
Posts: 4
Re: Should I Be worry? new
      #272283 - 05/31/13 07:42 PM

maybe it's fear

but i am freaking out now. i've been noticing my body aches has been really hurting me more now. and also i am getting this tingling/burning sensation around my body. I feel like my immune system has been compromised.

please help! i need at least some words of encouragement or some thoughts. the silence is not helping.

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kicker
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Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1130
Loc: GA, USA
Re: Should I Be worry? new
      #272284 - 05/31/13 08:05 PM

[Quote]reason I got tested was because the usual....i'm a bit of a hypochondriac and like many, I have went online and tried to diagnosed myself just by reading the symptoms of HIV. [/Quote]

We aren't here to hand hold with anyone. We can give you the facts, it's up to you to decide what to do with them. If you can't handle it then maybe you should talk to the doctor who tested you or to a therapist. Nothing we say will calm you, you've worked YOURSELF up to this point. If you had actually approached this logically and rationally you would know symptoms mean nothing in diagnosing HIV. BUMPKISS, DIDDLY SQUAT, NADDA, ZILTCH. So how you diagnosed yourself or anyone with HIV is beyond my understanding from symptoms alone.

Your entire post was nothing but rambling on about your thoughts. All it sounded like was that you have worked yourself up over no other reason than you googled HIV and decided with no proof you are positive. May sound harsh, but if you are old enough to mess around you should be old enough to handle getting tested for stds. And if you know you are a hypochondriac then maybe you should wear protection so you don't have to fear getting an std. All of this you have done to yourself, no one can undo it except for YOU. You can choose to continue or stop and find something more productive to do with your time. Like go outside away from the computer, I assure you it will be right where you left it when you get back barring a break in. Go play a video game, go out, read a book, make a puzzle, write, draw, shoot small animals with a spitball, do something. That is how you fix it, since you are afraid of what you read on the internet.

Again its on you, you can change your response no one has the power to change it for you.

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anotherday
Moderator

Reged: 05/15/13
Posts: 367
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Re: Should I Be worry? new
      #272291 - 05/31/13 11:25 PM

Most often stress and anxiety will create more severe symptoms then HIV, if you have yourself stirred up and twisted up so badly over this that's probably the majority of your problems.
Get your test, if you have been and constantly are "playing wild" then expect to get yourself a prize, like some of us on this site, when you play with fire sometime you just might get burned.
I hope you do test positive, you know it is a great stress reliever, yes I too had times of panic and worry but once the testing showed what I had, it all became clear and relaxing. Now I live with it, it's mine, I look after it with medication and regular doctor visits. It's not a big deal, like I mentioned in another post earlier ... I'd worry more about that huge-ass asteroid hurtling towards earth!!!

--------------------
anotherday ... in paradise!
daily ponder ... be the reason someone smiles today!

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isam2016
Newbie

Reged: 05/29/13
Posts: 4
Re: Should I Be worry? new
      #272472 - 06/11/13 12:04 AM

You're right, thanks for knocking some sense into me....:/ I know I've worked myself up to this point but it just bites sometimes.

By the way, my test results came back negative. I want to go ahead and retest at 12 weeks since this test was at 5 weeks. Supposedly, my "symptoms" went away after I got my results last Monday....my aches & needle tingling pains, nausea and also my night sweats: all went away. I slept like normal again and no longer woke up in a sweat in the middle of the night. I had really bad panic attacks while waiting for the results that weekend. Plus I asked my last partner and he assured me he is clean, no STDs.


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