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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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WorriedInfected
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Worried over Symptoms
      #27166 - 01/17/02 02:37 PM

Hi, all,

I have been following the postings on this board over the past year and now finally am writing in, and am also being tested, finally, tomorrow. It has taken awhile for me to get up the courage to test. In the meantime, I am very worried that I have infected my wife, and I could use some perspective. I am trying to keep sane about this, but you can imagine (and many of you know firsthand) how horrible this is.

One year ago in the span of three weeks when I was traveling I had oral sex performed on me by a guy, and another time by a female prostitute. In both cases a condom was put on after some initial licking of the shaft. The guy also rimmed me, and I also performed cunnilingus on the prostitute for a brief time.

Beginning about two months later I had a couple of drenching night sweats, pain in my testicle, pains in my armpit area, extreme fatigue, and a "spaced out" feeling, all of which lasted for about 6-8 weeks. Since that time I felt better, but still slightly fatigued. I had a few odd symptoms-- unexplained nausea for one week, 3 folliclulitis lesions, and still fatigue.

During all of this time I did not connect my symptoms with possible hiv. I did have 3-4 times of having unprotected sex with my wife (all other times were protected), where I pulled out before ejaculation. In September, she came down with an odd sore throat that seemed related to allergies at the time. No fever or swollen glands, but a sore throat that knocked her out for some days. Just before this happened, she had a slightly raised rash on her back that came and went quickly over 2-3 days. She pointed it out to me at the time and thought it was a few bug bites, but I could see that it looked like a rash.

It was at that point that I started to worry about hiv. However, I was feeling better, had more strength, and I did not think that there was really a risk.

That has changed over the past 3-4 weeks. I have been ill over this time with twitches in my arms, underarm pain, sinus infection, and extreme fatigue, and insomnia. I went to my dr. and he ran tests: lyme (I was treated for it 4 years ago), sed. rate, CBC, etc... Everything was normal except for the fact that I have borderline-low testosterone. I understand that this is very common in hiv-positive males, and now I am convinced that I am, indeed, hiv-positive, and that I infected my wife.

Right now, this board is my outlet for this horror. I cannot bear the thought of being repsonsible for bringing this on to my wife and two kids! I could use any help you can muster...









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Anonymous
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Re: Worried over Symptoms new
      #27170 - 01/17/02 05:13 PM

Your risk is very low. When someone performs oral on you, as in your case only a few licks before a condom was put on, the risk is too small to even worry about. When you performed cunnilingus on the prostitue, your risk was slightly higher, but still very low.

All of your symptoms can be explained away without HIV. Someone who gets infected with HIV might get a flu-like illness within weeks of infection, but other symptoms do not usually show up for many years. But, naturally you're going to worry over every symptom you perceive, real or not, until you get a reassuring test result. Everyone on this board seems to do this, some more obsessively than others. Most reach the stage, like you, where they are "convinced" that they have HIV, only to test negative later. This seems to be a natural defense mechanism that helps you cope with the possibility, however remote, and it is also a result of your guilt. You subconciously feel that you deserve HIV because of your sexual indescretions.

You have been reading this forum for a year? You did not mention whether you are going to take an HIV test or not. It's good that you went to the doctor for your symptoms, but you did not request an HIV test? Even though your risk was low, you need to test, otherwise you will continue down the obsessive path that you are heading toward. If you don't want to test through your own doctor, there are clinics, and other FDA approved testing methods, including anonymous testing. Make sure you get an FDA approved test so you can trust the results.

Obviously you are afraid of passing HIV to your wife, but why would you think that your two kids might get it? This is the start of an irrational obsession. Just get tested, and read all you can about HIV. You can keep thinking you have it for now, because that is only natural. You may even have it, despite the very low risk. But either way, you need to test and learn as much as you can about HIV. Best of luck to you.



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Anonymous
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Re: Worried over Symptoms new
      #27174 - 01/17/02 08:09 PM

I dont know if you have read up on how HIV is contracted but you risk is just about zero. In fact there has not been one case every reported in the history of aids where someone became infected by having oral sex performed on them. Ask any of the experts or read some of there answers. Testing is definitly no necesary for you. I have some of the same symptoms that you are describing(fatigue,pain in testicles, night sweats) and tested negative at 6 months. Testing is not needed but if u are still worrying take it and recieve ur negative test.



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Anonymous
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Re: Worried over Symptoms new
      #27175 - 01/17/02 08:58 PM

i also tested neg at 6 months and this all started with pain in testicle.



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Anonymous
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Re: Worried over Symptoms new
      #27178 - 01/17/02 10:13 PM

He also performed oral on a female prostitute, that's what "cunnilingus" means. There is small risk involved because he might have had her fluid go down the mucous membrane in his throat.



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