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Reged: 04/07/13
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Lying about HIV status consequences?
      #271546 - 04/07/13 07:42 AM

11 months ago I was cruising online and found this semi-attractive guy who claimed he was a bottom. I ended up meeting with this guy and asked him if he had any condoms with him, but he said no and I asked him if he was DDF and HIV- and he said yes so I took a chance and engaged in unprotected oral and anal sex with him. I did ended up ejaculating inside him, but I did not see any blood as I pulled out. As soon as we were done, He dropped me off and left and I immediately regretted what I had done. I was mad at myself for believing he had condoms and for agreeing in the moment to have unprotected sex. I texted him and asked him that I had never done that before with anyone and needed reassurance that he was HIV- and DDF. This guy told me that it was not his problem and completely left me hanging in worry and anxiety.

However, I was very fortunate to have a good friend whom I shared with him this horrible experience and he calm me down and convinced me to go get tested. It was after about 4 weeks that I went ahead and got tested and got free testing via Planned Parenthood (So thankful for the services!!!)I took the quick 20 min test and came back negative. I also gave blood for the ELISA test and two weeks later came back negative. During this whole time I did not hookup or met any guys since if I did come up positive, I would know from who. I went to the same clinic after 2 months and got tested and came back Negative for both the quick test and ELISA test. Again during this whole time no hookups. I waited for after 6 months to get tested and again negative for both.

Anyway, so at this point I felt confident that I was HIV Negative and was ready to get back on the hooking up scene, but definitely being safe. I placed an ad on craiglist to hookup and this stupid horrible guy (the guy I met that I had unprotected sex with) replied to my ad requesting to hookup. By now I had become HIV savvy and started asking him questions that could indicate he was positive. I replied asking him "nice body are you undetectable?" He didn't even remember me!!! And he told me "Yes, undetectable" I felt very angry and concerned not for him at all but for all the guys he could possibly infect and was not honest. I ended the conversation with him saying "Yeah, I can't host later" and I just think this guy needs to go to jail or something!!!

Bottom line, I could not have gone through this emotional stressing and awful situation without the support of my good friend. I am 22 yrs old, not out due to religious family, and never had been this scared in my life. I thought about my family and unprotected sex is not worth it. I'm a good looking guy, smart, and way better than that guy.

Anyway I feel that I am going off topic here. Overall, I was just tested again 7 months post-unprotected sex and got a phone call saying my results were nonreactive and negative (at first they called me and this freaked me out since I usually got my results via email, but I guessed things changed in California IDK)

Anyway, my question for you is if there is still a slight risk I am infected with HIV even though I came back negative, because after all I did have unprotected sex with this guy who is positive? Also, I am thinking of confronting this guy via email or person because what he did to me was awful and don't want anyone to go through what I went. Can I make him go to jail? That is how angry I feel.

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Reged: 03/10/11
Posts: 1345
Re: Lying about HIV status consequences? new
      #271551 - 04/07/13 12:29 PM

First off, any test after 3 months is conclusive. Even if the person you were with you THINK was HIV positive. You have tested out to 7 months. You are HIV negative.

Second off, you have no proof as to his status. His answer to your question might very well have been along the lines of someone agreeing with someone without even knowing what they were agreeing to. OR maybe he figured out you what you were asking and he's HIV negative. You know, he might be "HIV savvy" just like you say you have become.

You have no proof of his status. You certainly didn't get HIV from him. I can hear that conversation with a cop. "Yeah, I hooked up with this guy from a website. He said he's STD and HIV free. He started acting funny and I think he's lying. I don't have any proof and I don't have HIV, but I want you to go throw him in jail."

Just to remind you of the rules you should have read when you signed up:

3) We are not here to debate HIV criminalization. Nobody should be jailed for not disclosing their status before consensual sexual intercourse. Barring sexual assault or rape, your responsibility to protect your own sexual health takes priority over someone else's responsibility to protect it for you. In other words, if you don't look out for yourself first, don't expect others to and don't blame them for not doing so. When engaging in sexual activity, remember, not everybody knows their status and everybody lies. "

Now let's talk about your part in all this, which is a HUGE part. YOU CHOSE NOT TO USE CONDOMS. Didn't even bring any with you even though you knew there was going to be a possibility of sex.

Your health is your responsibility. PERIOD.

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