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Reged: 04/01/13
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So scared....Am I at risk? I blacked out!
      #271461 - 04/01/13 10:38 PM

Hello all. I am so so scared. I am a 22 yr old female and i recently met with a man who ive only seen once & phoned several times. I got very drunk and i remember asking him 'do u have condoms' he said 'no' so i said 'please dont f*** me then' he was also drunk but i remember him saying, i wont! we kissed and he took off my panties but i slipped them back on, and repeated don't f** me ok? he answered ok again & just fingered me but not w/ penetration. im a virgin and he knows this. his pants never came off while i was awake, he only tried to kiss me and rubbed my bottom alot.

i soon threw up and he got very worried abt my well being and kept repeating i shouldnt have drank so much. i passed out after that and he was on the other side of the bed. woke up the next morning and my panties were off....this has been scaring me,, things are very vague. im not sure if i removed them or he did again. He turned to me and began kissing me the next morning and was being normal, i tried to take off his pants to see if there was any dried semen on him or me, but he was very shy & told me his penis was so small which made me think maybe he didn't have sex with me if he is this insecure.

after awhile he let me and i didn't see anything but he could have cleaned up.

i was more drunk than him as i couldnt stand but he was able to guide me to the bathroom.

i also remember him asking me 'do u remember what happened?' i told him...kinda, refresh my memory, just to see what he would say. He basically told me everything that I recalled. Should I get an HIV test just to be sure he didn't try to have sex with me? I didn't feel any soreness in my vagina or anus like he'd tried to have sex with me but what if he rubbed his genitals on me without penetration. He has called me since sayin he misses me and he'll bring condoms next time, but he doesn know i wont be seeing him anymore until i get over this. based on this situation does it seem necessary to get tested? i asked him did he have hiv when i was drunk and he said no but i cant count on that.

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Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1895
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: So scared....Am I at risk? I blacked out! new
      #271462 - 04/01/13 11:25 PM

Mimi Mimi Mimi , Before I answer your question I am going to gently frank with you. And this under other circumstances probably would not make sense but I think it will for you now. This experience you've had is why I tell people that one of the ways to put oneself at risk doesn't always begin with a sexual encounter. It begins with a drink which turns into 2 and before we know it we are no longer able to think and respond with safty in mind. And if nothing else happens from this experience I hope and pray that this is big eye opener. Please drink responsibility, it's not just for driving.
Now with that siad hon , the fact that you blacked out can put you at rish because of not knowing what happened. Was this guy enough of a gentleman as to not take totaladvantage of you while you were totaly out of it? But waking up without your panties shows he wasn't a total gentleman. Since you can't say for sure , even if he said he's neg, I am going to tell you to go get tested in 6 weeks. Don't beat yourself up hon, that doesn't do any good , bu do lean a big lesson from this. Your young with a full life without restrictions health wise but do excercise restrictions in other area. So THINK before you drink.

Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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Reged: 04/01/13
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Re: So scared....Am I at risk? I blacked out! new
      #271465 - 04/01/13 11:54 PM

thats the thing, I'm not sure if i took them off or he did, i also remember him telling me, dont be mad at me for kissing you and touching you like this tomorrow. Its ok right? I told him it was just no sex. Part of me just feels paranoid. It has been 2 months since this has happened. Another part of me is like, just go test, but another is like, my mind is just doing a lot. My vagina didn't have any bruises or my anus like someone had fondled with them or tried to enter. A woman would know if she had sex after never having it right? something has to feel different. I'm going to test after this month is over and def won't be drinking again. the more i think about it the more i recall. we were up pretty late, and i was telling him i was sick so he rolled on the other side and kinda went to sleep. in fact, i remember getting on top of him and being very aggressive and he said i hurt him when i did that and so he laid me down.

he made sure NOT to take his pants off because mine were off and I remember that. I never felt his penis on me at all. While I was awake. In fact, I told him clearly, im drunk but i'll remember all of this in the morning

i just dont know. I dont want to go through the mental agony anymore when not necessary which is why I was trying to see how much of a risk I really took. What I really want to know is there a way someone can tell if they've been raped?

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