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Phorus
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Persistent HIV fear
#265948 - 08/28/12 01:44 PM
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Hello,
I have been exposed to HIV (so I thought) two years ago, when I had protected sex with a prostitute. I received a fellatio without condom, which does not constitue a risk for HIV. Nonetheless, I thought that, even if the risk was low or theoretical, I could have HIV. I developed a severe fear of that virus, which eventually resolved when I got a test more than six weeks after the event. It was negative (also for major STDs).
I add that I live in France, and that official authorities assert that HIV test is entirely conclusive after six weeks.
However, especially when I was reading American data on the Internet, my fear reappeared. I had all sort of symptoms that could be linked with HIV, such as bumps on the torso (diagnosis: acnea) or recurrent oral ulcers.
As I had doubts about the accuracy of the first test, made after almost seven weeks after the intercourse, I eventually got a second HIV screening around one year after... And it was negative! I didn't take a risk in the meantime.
But now, even after two years, my fear sometimes reappears: I went to a gym almost every week, and I fear to catch HIV from equipments and hypothetic blood traces on them, because a HIV-positive guy is often there.
In addition, there are symptoms that can match with "stage II" of the CDC's classification: seborrheic dermatitis, recurrent oral ulcers (that I always had, in fact) and blepharitis (notably).
I think I will not try to get another test, but do you think the situation that I described at the gym could have put me at risk for HIV?
Do you think that, even with my two negative tests, I could have HIV with my symptoms?
Thank you!
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kicker
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Answer to both your questions: absolutely not and no.
What I suggest other than testing is going to see a therapist or dr about your anxiety disorder. It's obvious you have one and it's latched onto HIV. In the mean time tell yourself the truth that in your hypothetical situation was even remotely factual wouldn't half the people in the world be positive by now if not all of the world?
You have obvious anxiety over it being your making up crazy tall tales about how you might have contracted it and even bringing it into your daily life. Seriously talk to a professional soon.
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Phorus
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Thank you for your quick answer! I think so, too, because I have also concerns about my eyes and emetophobia...
I shall consult a therapist, indeed.
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Phorus
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Sorry to disturb you once again, but I remember something I did not mention in my previous message.
Recently, when I went to the gym to practice, I used some "sculling machine". I did not protect my hands (I do it now). Afterwards, I noticed little blisters on my hands due to repeated rubbing with the machine.
Is it an "open wound" that could allow HIV to pass through my bloodstream, especially if it touched blood on the machines?
I have read something that bothered me, indeed: http://www.usg.edu/facilities/training/pathogens/12.phtml
It is said that acne or blisters can be ways for HIV (for instance) to enter.
Please answer and explain me! Thank you.
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Momma
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I completely understand your concern. I have a fear too and it completely rules my life. I too am going to get help. I guess I just want you to know that you are not alone. take care.
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Phorus
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Thank you for your kind message! It is indeed a terrible fear, but I'm currently trying to forget it and to simply live. I hope you will be better! If not, you can contact me by private message.
Take care!
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