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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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BurningChrome
Newbie

Reged: 06/26/12
Posts: 1
Fear, regret, anxiety, and self loathing.
      #264126 - 06/26/12 05:20 AM

Hello, I cant think of a good way to start this post, so I will be blunt. I am very fearful that I have been infected with HIV. If this is the wrong forum let me know and I will repost this in the "stricken with terror" category, which I cannot seem to find.

I am a very hard worker and have been so my entire life. I have very rarely been felled by feminine wiles. That said I have only been with three people in my entire life, all of which were monogomis* committed relationships. So I thought... It was revealed to me six months ago that my belief in monogamy was my own.

I was told that my fiance at the time was seeing another. I confronted her and she denied this. Afterwards I refused to have intercourse until she was tested. She refused so we soon parted.

Since then I have had the following symptoms, I will list them in the order in which they ocurred* after last interaction.

3 weeks, first symptoms
1. Violent illness
a. fatigue
b. 3 inch rash on inner right thigh
c. clouded thought process
d. itchy armpits
e. Extreme anxiety
f. at the end of this initial experience I had severe spasms of diarrhea and vomiting

I am now six months away from last contact, and I havent felt myself since then. I have had 5 std tests since then, the most recent of which came back negative today. Two at clinics and the last three I purchased online. I have the results of a sixth test on its way.

Symptoms now

a. Burning tongue covered with a weird fuzzy coating
b. Severe loss of appetite, I have been consuming Ensure protein shakes, about twelve a week. Also force feeding myself when I can. I throw up about three times a week, and have almost constant nausea
c. Constant diarrhea, for about two months
d. My palms are peeling in an erratic manner, little bubbles with nothing in them.

Please tell me this isnt true, Please tell me I can attribute these symptoms to another ailment aside from HIV. If this is the case I will not be scared to hear the truth. Although I am very concerned about how this will affect many others in my life.

I am currently operating three businesses, all of which I have started myself and employ very many people. If this is true, I dont have the endurance to train people to take over my position. I will have to sell or just leave and hope for the best, which I cannot do.

Whether there is a reply to this post or not I will continue to update my status. Because it is very frustrating to see so many posts about "I think Im infected" with no follow up posts. It is very disheartening to read that and not know the conclusion.

Thoughts and responses no matter how benign or crazy are welcome.

Thanks to all who have finished reading this erratic diatribe.

-Chrome

PS If it helps create an image I am a 32 year old male from CO.

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kicker
Moderator

Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: Fear, regret, anxiety, and self loathing. new
      #264130 - 06/26/12 09:51 AM

Your symptoms are classic of anxiety and malnutrition not any std. You have tested negative multiple times. Time to move on and address the real issues. Those being lack of coping skills, trust issues, and depression. Good luck and congrats on being negative.

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notinterested
All Star

Reged: 09/07/11
Posts: 127
Re: Fear, regret, anxiety, and self loathing. new
      #264140 - 06/26/12 10:17 PM

I agree with Kicker, sounds like symptoms of anxiety but i would get tested to be sure. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to HIV. Your probably negative but the safest bet is to get tested and so you will know for sure how to proceed. Good luck to you. Take care and relax, Either way, you will be fine.

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