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Just a bit worried that I might've caught HIV
#262839 - 05/02/12 08:23 AM
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So I had unprotected sex 3 weeks ago. I'm from Australia, Sydney. Before having sex, I asked the person if he was drug and disease free, and he replied yes. He asked me if I was and I also replied Yes. I was a bottom and he was a top. We did use a condom at first but then during our lustrous activity, he asked me if he could take it off and because of the spur of the moment, I said yes without thinking that he could be lying to me. So he took it off and then came inside me. After a few seconds i just pushed all of the juices out and then had a shower also cleaning the inside with warm water. Just a note, during sex, it was a bit painful because I haven't really had many anal sex but than the pain just stop but I believe that is normal because I was able to control my muscles and made it pleasurable. However, should I consider this "pain" to be like his thrusting was damaging my inside? or its just normal because the pain did subsided during sex. What I know about this person is that, he said he is diseased free and he is only interested in having sex with asian. He was also asian. so that might reduce how much he had sex with other people. I also had symptoms such as cold like running nose and coughing phlegm 2 weeks after exposure, but I believe that it is probably cold because we just enter the winter season and it is cold and my family did have cold symptoms and they may have probably gave it to me. So in general, I researched about HIV in Australia. around 14000 people are living with HIV, 7,303,700 population in NSW. Roughly around 1000 people are newly diagnoses with hiv each year.The law states in NSW that you need to disclose your status before having intercourse. If this person had a visa such as student visa, I believe he went to university cause he said so, so there is a chance he may have a visa, and normally when accquiring a visa to australia, they need to have a medical check and if you hiv, normally you would be rejected. I also checked on "manhunt" that in NSW only 14 asian disclosed that they are hiv positive which is great however, some asian put their status as "asked me" and that gave me 500+ search results. Yes I know I took a great risk in having unsafe sex and that I should use a condom. I have been researching HIV substantially but I just need some people's opinion to give me a sense of ease so that I don't have to continue worrying about this til my blood test. I always get myself tested every 3 months even if I dont have sex in that 3 months. My next appointment will be in june so thats like 8 weeks after exposure which probably give me a 90% accurate result. I know that having unsafe sex will give me 1-2 in 1000 chances of contracting hiv. All I'm saying the fact that I've given you, is the chances of me catching hiv is slim to none and that I shouldn't worry much about it and continue with my life until i get tested?
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riverprincess
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Is it that difficult for you to refrain till you know without a doubt that your not putting anyone at risk? How about you leave that option to the person you may be putting at risk. No thats not a good idea either that person may be just as indifferent as you seem to be about the risk , I don't care how slim the risk is. Thats like saying you think you put the cigarette out completely befor you threw it into a puddle of gasoline. Come on , is having sex sooo important that you can't wait?
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bartleby
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what? did i miss something? i didn't read anything in his post indicating that he's going to put anyone at risk, or that he can't wait to have sex in the next couple months before getting tested in June.
but andysimoeon, you seem to be handling it pretty well. yes, the unprotected receptive anal is definitely a risk. the U.S. CDC estimates the per-act risk at about 50 out of 10,000 exposures, for unprotected anal receptive intercourse. so there's some cause for concern there.
however, even though it only takes one exposure, the chances are still in your favor. i'm glad you seem to be approaching this very calmly. just keep that attitude. nothing you can do now, except wait to get tested. in the meantime, i wouldn't read too much into your cold sympoms. probably just a cold. remember to use protection from now on and good luck!
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Thankyou for the advice. It was nice for you to comment. I was unsure what riverprincess was talking about. It sound like I did a wrong thing. I wasn't really sure if I made it clear but I'm also male, so she might've think I was female. But yeah. I know the chances are in my favour. Sometimes I do get paranoid and anxiety and I think that it does affect me mentally. Like after I sleep with a guy, condom or not, my assumption is that he is HIV+ and I might've been infected. So i should talk to someone to get over this "idea" that everyone is HIV and that i should stop sleeping around. I think that i need to build a sense of trust with that person before I sleep with. Cause if someone say they are drug/disease free, then you should believe them cause why would they want to infect someone who is going through what your going through and its a law to disclose your status before having intercourse. Only way is that they dont think they have hiv too but they do. But if they asked me if I was dd free also, then there is a sense that they are also concern about their health and that if they dont use a condom, then they know the risk also. Since they didn't use a condom, they also risk themselves but they did, so in a sense there trusting me also. Of course I take precaution and ask them if they are dd free. and it was this one time that just "happen". But in reality I should think the chances of my catching HIV in my location is slim to none due to the great health system in Australia. and MANY gay people in Australia do take precaution and take test often. it's unfortunate that around 1000 people get infected a year and total of 15000 people living with HIV but compare to the population of NSW which is like 7,303,700. I chances of me encountering them is 0.002%. I believe my issue is to get over the idea of assuming everyone has hiv and that im being infected.
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bartleby
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well you should never assume anything when it comes to status. you might not think people have a reason to lie, but they do anyway. for whatever reason. maybe fear or rejection, denial, etc.
it's wishful thinking to assume if someone were positive, they would disclose and not put others at risk by having unprotected sex, but sadly, that's not always the case.
and frankly, i don't agree with mandatory disclosures anyway. it takes two people to have sex, so you should be protecting yourself.
not to mention, there are people who may have never even gotten tested, or who haven't tested in a long time. some who might not even take seriously the risk of HIV. or assume they're negative because they don't show any "symptoms."
either way, your sexual health is your own responsibility, so use protection please.
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tcocoa
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i defintely agree with bartleby......protect yourself at all cost. too many hiv+ ppl are going to jail for failing to disclose , alot of times out of fear and all the responsibility is placed on their shoulders to protect themselves and their partner. the truth is that there are lots of ppl who refuse to ever get a test because they have been promiscuis and dont want to know and they are still sleeping around having unprotected sex and infecting others but the law is on their side because they dont know. thats the only difference between someone who knows and somene who doesnt. So i cant stress enough to the hiv negative population to always protect yourself and you dont have to come on this site worrying and wondering and those who see the need for revenge for failing to protect themselves wont have to resort to criminal courts for retaliation. Condoms are free. i wish you well on all your tests.
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bartleby
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yeah great point tcocoa! that's another point i forgot to mention, that a lot of people overlook. these HIV criminalization laws really don't encourage testing at all.
for those who are positive and know it, they can be found guilty under some of these laws for having sex, even if they disclose and use a condom!
but for those who are positive and don't know their status, they are not guilty because they did not "knowingly" expose HIV.
and not to mention, all these laws are about exposure and not actual transmission! so worst case scenario, a person living with HIV can go to jail for having consensual, informed and protected sex with someone who obviously remains negative.
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