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sleeplessincali
Newbie

Reged: 03/06/12
Posts: 5
Anxiety, the self-fullfilling prophecy
      #261652 - 03/06/12 12:23 PM

I have had three vey real events that warrant testing for HIV since late November of last year; all with the same person. The level of risk is debatable, never the less there was some and it is real. Well maybe only two where really concerning. The most recent being about 4 weeks ago which involved very shallow and very brief anal penetration along with extended rubbing. To the best of my knowledge the only fluid exposure that could have occurred would be with precum if at all, so I know, the risk is low. The other is similar except there was a deeper yet still very brief penetration and accrued around 9 weeks ago I think it was. In neither was there ejaculation. The event in the middle of the two was protected and full penetration which I’m not really concerned about. I’m getting tested today and will have the results by Thursday I think at the earliest. From what I’ve read here this would be a good test for the early “potential” exposure but far short for the most recent.

Like many worried people I have shown all of the classic symptoms. Swollen and tender lymph nodes in my armpit, groin, neck, and behind my knee, mild fever, coated tongue, loose stool, small rash on neck, loss of appetite, weight loss (a lot) and so on. These all started after my girlfriend started showing some of the same symptoms just a couple of weeks after the last time we had sex. She had visibly swollen glands in her neck, loose stool, and a short lived mild fever.
This may all be anxiety which I consider to be the mother of all self-fulfilling prophecies. Stress can cause a great deal of health issues as we all know. My girlfriend is experiencing a tremendous amount of stress at work right now to the point she is in tears at times and it is allergy season here in the valley as well. Could these be the cause of everything? Yup, sure as the sun comes up, but the thought that they are not is like an inescapable disease in itself.

We’ll see where this goes over the next few weeks I guess. This test today should it read negative, will provide only a temporary reprieve from the anxiety. Then it will fire up again in a day or two until the next test which I’m still debating on when I will do. Three months will take us into April and my last test. I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up then.

I know some of you are saying if this test is negative then move on, the risk was low, but the self full-filling prophecy of anxiety says your wrong, and I do have HIV. It won’t loosen its grip until the last test is done, HOPEFULLY.


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AIDS2HIV
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Post deleted by Becky new
      #261658 - 03/06/12 03:09 PM



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sleeplessincali
Newbie

Reged: 03/06/12
Posts: 5
Re: Anxiety, the self-fullfilling prophecy new
      #261686 - 03/07/12 11:40 PM

We'll see I guess. I did get a test that was negative today, but it has only been around 23 or 24 days. I talked to the guy and he says he was tested 3 months ago negative. I asked him if he would retest soon and offered to pay for one if need be. I'm not taking his word for it just because he says it's negative. I'm sure if he was to show me a negative test I would move on and just do one last test in 9 weeks and be done with it.

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AIDS2HIV
Unregistered

Post deleted by Becky new
      #261691 - 03/08/12 08:14 AM



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sleeplessincali
Newbie

Reged: 03/06/12
Posts: 5
Re: Anxiety, the self-fullfilling prophecy new
      #261697 - 03/08/12 10:03 AM

I don't think my fear is irrational given the symptoms of an illnes I've been experiencing combine with the sexual contact I had. The symptoms could be something other than ARS, but they could be it too. I won't know for sure until the last test right? I'm going to see my Dr this week because they have not cleared up yet. As far as the other stuff goes, it's doubtful I'll keep doing it. I didn't do too often anyway and I don't need the added stress of uncertainty in my life.

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