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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

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Reged: 08/26/11
Posts: 3
I knew I shouldn't have.
      #257150 - 08/26/11 09:29 PM

First of all I would like to thank you The Body for being such a resourceful place to obtain information about HIV/AIDS. I have learned a lot here. And thank you for whoever will contribute to this thread.

I am a girl. Mid 20s. Have a pretty health life. A while ago, I begin dating a guy for a few months before I had sexual intercourse with him. In the beginning we did use protection. However, it wasn't really working, since he always lose his erection and he claimed it was the condom. I have dated him for like 5 months then, I felt like I could trust him. So I let him have sex with me without a condom but he NEVER CAME inside of me, nor had he ever came anywhere when having sex with me. A month later we broke up. I met someone else and moved on. But then it starts to scare me when I caught a cold. Also I was suspecting all along that he might be gay - with a lot of evidences. There is a possibility that he is infected with HIV

Time line:
1st month and beginning of 2nd month - unprotected virginal intercourse (about 3 times), he never cum inside of me, never ejaculate, never had oral sex

2 month - cold and possibly a flu lasted for about 10 days (I traveled the world a lot that month and really lack of sleep with time change), possibly ringworm/candida on arm

3rd month - I broke out with a bad hives, it lasted for two weeks (it had happened to me before many years ago)

4th month - I started to worry and think something is terribly wrong with me, I started to get really anxious and looking for syndromes on my body and information about HIV any minute I have. I constantly feeling myself for lymph nodes and bumps on skins. I felt nothing but still very very scared.

5th month - started to have really tiny pimple like here and there all over my body. Tiny. No pus or anything. The possible patch of ringworm is healed but still itch occasionally. Both of my arms have some discoloration.

6th month - I started to feel a small lump in both of my armpit and bottom of my chin(it might be caused by a wisdom tooth), and the whole month I was suffering from intense pain from my breast. I also have occasional night sweats. I just hope it's because of the heat and summer. I also have a lot of twitching over my legs, thighs, butt and face.

I was on birth control and all of those above are also side effects from the pill. I am really scared.

I feel like I deserved it because I let someone in without protection, it was my fault.

I like my life now, I have a really great, sincere and serious boyfriend. I don't want to lose him, I don't want to lose everything I have now. And I don't want to get him infected. Since my suspicious feeling, I lose all my sex drive. And when I want to satisfy him, I do it with protection. I do not want to get him infected and I don't know how to tell him this whole story. I am so torn, I am scared everyday. I haven't been able to live like a normal person.

I will get tested I promise. I also scheduled a doctor's appointment to have everything checked out next week. I pray, I crossed my fingers. Regardless of the result, I will never have unprotected sex with anyone unless I know he's the person I will be building a family and having kids with.

Thank you for reading again. I really appreciate everything.
I pray and I ask god to help me. I handed my life to god.

Edited by donottrust (08/26/11 10:28 PM)

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Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: I knew I shouldn't have. new
      #257164 - 08/27/11 09:21 AM

I think you are putting the cart before the horse. Take a deep breath and relax. Take the test and get the results before jumping the gun. And even if it does come back positive your life will not end. Try to think of all the things you want to do with your life and how you are gonna do them. Make plans and write it all down. Then realize no matter what you can do those things.

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Reged: 08/26/11
Posts: 3
Re: I knew I shouldn't have. new
      #257199 - 08/29/11 09:36 PM

Thank you for your response Kicker.
I read a lot about pre-cum and the chances... I am so scared.
Can someone tell me more about pre-cum and its chances?

I am so scared and worry. I don't want the world to isolate me

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Reged: 08/26/11
Posts: 3
Re: I knew I shouldn't have. new
      #257453 - 09/12/11 08:50 PM

I went to get a CBC today. Wish me luck.

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Reged: 03/10/11
Posts: 1288
Re: I knew I shouldn't have. new
      #257454 - 09/12/11 08:56 PM

Why waste your money?

My CBC's are always just lovely, nothing out of the ordinary ever shows 16 years.

A CBC is not going to give you any information about your status.

Shame you wasted your time and money....well all of our money. Needless tests contribute to the rising cost of healthcare that affects us all.

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