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nuthugger24
Regular

Reged: 02/24/10
Posts: 46
2 year anniversary Aug. 1st
      #256610 - 07/19/11 09:12 PM

I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then. I wish I could start this whole life over again. I'm not saying that's you will ever be true. I just don't wanna know how it ends. Yea. It's me again. I still havnt tested since my possible exposure and I'm only just still having generalized lymphadenapathy which is discomforting at times. August 1st will be my 2 year anniversary since possible exposure : ( bye

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kicker
Moderator

Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256612 - 07/19/11 11:22 PM

Maybe you should stop hugging nuts and let yours drop so you can get tested. Really two years of anxiety and dread over something that you have no proof of having? Must be how Bjork feels about her career.

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nuthugger24
Regular

Reged: 02/24/10
Posts: 46
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256619 - 07/20/11 04:10 PM

Thanks for the advice. Also, I'm a woman. I know my username is messed up, but saw it on a glass and decided to use it. Anyway, I really wanna test but don't seeing it happening anytime soon. I'm sick of the anxiety but if it's positive I will be out on the streets and everyone I luv will never wanna see me again. It sucks, but my life is good right now besides the worrying over swollen lymphnodes. I know this sounds selfish, but it's how I'm going to have to live until I decide to test or I become severely sick.

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crabmanModerator
Moderator

Reged: 03/10/11
Posts: 1157
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256620 - 07/20/11 04:36 PM

Went back to see what brought you here in the first place.

Selfish doesn't even begin to describe what you are.

I guess you'll just be very very sorry if you indeed do have HIV and give it to your husband.

Since you have decided this is how you plan on living, then don't bother crying about all the anxiety the situation is producing for you. That's what happens when people try to hide from the consequences of their actions.


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kicker
Moderator

Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256621 - 07/20/11 05:50 PM

I don't care if your a man, woman, or whatever. Simple fact is if your old enough to go out and get drunk, rub someones penis, and show your boobs, then you should be old enough to grow a pair and accept the responsibility you have to get tested if your fearful you may have been exposed to something. I also find it mildly funny that you have spent two years worrying about an encounter that was laughable for exposure to begin with. That you haven't done anything to educate yourself or help yourself speaks volumes.


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nuthugger24
Regular

Reged: 02/24/10
Posts: 46
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256622 - 07/20/11 10:32 PM

Ok. First of all. Yes Im responsible for getting drunk, but I trusted this guy. I told the guy several times I was married and didnt want to have sex with him. I definitely am not responsible for while I was asleep and possibly getting raped by the man. Thats why I think I may have Hiv. I think I may have been raped in my sleep. Anyway, I know at least half the people on here if not more think my possible exposure is a joke to say the least. From the exposure I know I did have for sure I know my risk was minimal, but if I was raped unprotected then my risk would be very high. No one is responsible for being raped. No means no. When I woke up in the morning I was still clothed. So I said to the guy before I left. I go... At least we didnt have sex. He didnt say anything and then gave me a hug. Then he said call me when u get to ur car. I had his number at one point. When I got to my car I never called the guy. I never wanted to talk to him again so i deleted his number. After a couple of days went by after my possible exposure I wish I didnt delete his number because then I could of called him and asked him questions about that night. However, I do know I should get tested just to make sure I dont have HIV since I think I do since I think I was raped. FEAR OF BEING POSITIVE IS A bitch.

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kicker
Moderator

Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256627 - 07/21/11 12:51 AM

You said you went to sleep with your clothes intact and woke up with them intact. You were both drinking. I find it highly unlikely that he was able to disrobe you, have sex, then redress you without you having the slightest clue. For that matter rapist in this scenario wouldn't bother trying to redress you and then give you their number afterwards or bring you back to their place. Also at any point did you think "Hey, maybe I should call a cab and go home."

You claiming he raped you with no evidence either than your guilt over the situation is liable at best. IF you were raped (which is highly unlikely) I really doubt he would have gone through the trouble of redressing you and waking up pleasantly. I've worked with sex offenders in a mental health setting, believe me when I say it doesn't fit the profile. This guy would be on the evening news in handcuffs if he was that meticulous to redress you and be pleasant. Then you're dealing with a social-path that would be a serial rapist with a set pattern and there would be lots of women claiming the same thing. He would be at the same bar nightly repeating the pattern. He would also fixate on you and would find some way of stalking you as a trophy. I've worked with rape victims as well and have heard their stories of being drugged and raped or drinking to much and raped. Yours doesn't fit. I've never heard of a single case where the clothes were put back on so well as to not being able to tell. Something usually rips or is put on wrong, or not at all. As well the guys usually want to brag about it even to the woman that they did it to.

But it's easy to blame someone else so here you are crying rape instead of facing the role you played in the whole thing and taking responsibility for it.

"I told him I did not have sex with the guy which is true unless I was raped which like you said is preposterous given the circumstances." (Your words).

Tell you what though, why not go through hell another year, then come back here and post your third year "anniversary" bull instead of going and getting tested then going and seeing a shrink. And I am sure either myself or someone like me will tell you the same thing as Jackie_blue did to "GROW UP" and "TAKE RESPONSIBILITY" and get tested, and how your story is "preposterous".

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pupiz
Newbie

Reged: 07/08/11
Posts: 7
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256635 - 07/21/11 11:42 AM

Put your fears and anxiety to rest and take an HIV test. Your risk of exposure was 2 years ago and will be definitive.



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justagirl72
Fanatic

Reged: 04/28/11
Posts: 57
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256641 - 07/21/11 05:45 PM

I'm not usually harsh on people.. But you are rediculous, Grow up. You weren't raped..and if sex did take place it was consensual and you are making a story up because of guilt/shame or because you want an excuse for needing to be tested. I'm guessing the guy never called you back and then you panicked because you didn't know him or his status and now your little brain is thinking he must have unprotected sex with other people too! I might have caught something...I bet this whole 2yrs your still having unprotected sex with your husband..pretty selfish since you have so much worry about HIV. just go get a swab and some blood drawn. thats the big girl thing to do.. I'm tired of people not taking responsiblity for thier actions and then crying I didn't know or worse rape. Real Victims suffer because people cry wolf.

--------------------
Could you show me dear?
Something I've not seen.
Something infinitely interesting


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nuthugger24
Regular

Reged: 02/24/10
Posts: 46
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256642 - 07/21/11 10:58 PM

Sex did not take place to my knowledge. So if it did it wasn't consensual. I'm telling the truth. And ever since I thought I may of caught HIV. Which was a month or so after this incident . After symptom searching . My husband and I have been using protection. Also, I never gave this guy my number. He gave me his while we were still at the bar which I deleted the next morning.

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nuthugger24
Regular

Reged: 02/24/10
Posts: 46
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256643 - 07/21/11 11:10 PM

It wasn't actually the guys house. It was a hotel where the guy was living because he was doing work in my state. He is from a different state and all I know is his first name. I really hope ur right when u say rapist never put the clothes back on. Also, I don't think this guy was all that drunk. He was drinking but not drunk from what I can remember. I was really drunk and tired. Anyway, because I don't really know. From what i do know that happened. If I wasn't raped. What other if any stds could I have caught? I wanna test but don't think I could make it to the clinic on my own . Let alone get back home afterwards given if the results are positive.

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kicker
Moderator

Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 1131
Loc: GA, USA
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256646 - 07/22/11 12:22 AM

I am really sorry but your story is like swiss cheese full of holes. You say you havent had unprotected sex with your husband but a year ago you said you did. You say you told your husband but he hasnt insisted you be tested and now he wont go with you to be tested. I infered that from you saying you dont know if you can get home from hearing a positive result. You cant remember if you were raped but remember every other detail of the night in question and you woke up 4 hours later and went home in your car where you deleted his phone number that he gave you before you were so drunk that you passed out and from someone you met at a bar. Who was only in town for a short bit.

You know the people on here that answer questions and provide support do so out of kindness, empathy, and respect. We dont appreciate our time being wasted or to be treated as if we are idiots and we especially dont like being lied to. We wouldve had alot more compassion for the truth. But alas you want to play games and make this some sort of joke. So my advice even if it gets me band from the boards is piss off.

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pupiz
Newbie

Reged: 07/08/11
Posts: 7
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256647 - 07/22/11 01:37 AM

I am a woman. I have my own sometimes irrational fears about HIV, but have never been afraid of testing because I love my husband and my family and do not in anyway want to put them at risk. I hope that you find the courage to get tested. You do not have to go to a doctor to be tested. You can do the FDA approved Home Access HIV Test. It takes like a week to get results once you send your sample off. You can receive the results at home, right over the phone. I did this one on last year. It would be conclusive from your 2 year exposure. If that does not work for you, I have used an online referral lab service, in which you get a referral from them immediately online, print it out, and and you give the referral to a Labcorp location near you, get your blood drawn at a labcorp draw center nearest you and labcorp does the actual testing for HIV and you receive the results via email within like three days. They send you your lab report. You can read them when you are ready. You can download the lab report and read it when you are ready to read it. I also tried this service earlier this year and it worked perfectly. I was just was too afraid to hear my results from someone (mainly my physician). I wanted to receive them privately at the time.

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nuthugger24
Regular

Reged: 02/24/10
Posts: 46
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256648 - 07/22/11 04:25 AM

Thanks for all the information pupiz. I really hope I test soon. I really I'm sick of all this.

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nuthugger24
Regular

Reged: 02/24/10
Posts: 46
Re: 2 year anniversary Aug. 1st new
      #256651 - 07/22/11 04:44 AM

I'm sorry u feel this way kicker, but u keep twisting and turning my story around. I'm telling the truth and that's it. U didn't understand my last post obviously. After this exposure my husband and I did have unprotected sex. It wasn't until I feared HIV that we started using protection. Obviously I woke
up with my clothes on that morning so I didn't think I had anything to worry about with HIV. Then I started thinking the worst. Like maybe I was raped. I started thinking all this stuff where possibly he took advantage of me when I was passed out. Anyway, I'm done explaining myself. The advice I'm going to try and take off here is to get tested so I can lay this to rest. Thank u.

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