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HIV Transmission and Education >> Am I Infected?

Pages: 1
psol
Newbie

Reged: 05/18/11
Posts: 1
Slept with many prostitutes
      #255728 - 05/18/11 01:02 AM

I'l start by saying that I'm one who never posts anything anywhere, but my recent experience made me post,. I'm sharing my story so it can be of some light to someone,. I cheated on my Beautiful Bride to be, 5 years ago, i went to a sex worker and paid 200 to be w/her,. I was scared so i just asked for oral. and now i'm glad she used a condom,. - it wasn't great, lost $200, and worst of all, made me want to try again after I finally married,.
the next 4 years, I was the stupidest idiot, ever,. I seeked more sex workers the years to come, and felt comfortable doing it,. I think over the next 4 years i encountered more than 12 prostitutes, most of the time it was oral, but with time i wanted more and felt comfortable having intercourse,, and i made sure to use condom, but there was a couple of times when i remember a condom was not used,.
Currently my counselor requested me to take a HIV test which it never occurred to me to take,. - I was struggling to take one because of fear,
I finally took the courage to go and take one,.
I didn't know that i had to wait a week to get my test results back.
and this week was the most intense ever,. I got really anxious about my test results , I played the ... google game of trying to find answers and info on HIV, and what my risks of having HIV were, and I only got more and more fear that I would have it, since I would find that there could be no symptomps at all and i could still have,. it,.
God wanted me to go through this, because now i felt a guilt i'd never felt before, How could have i endangered the life of my Beautiful wife, and Family How selfish was i that i put myself and my wife and my family at risk,.
How was I going to tell my wife I was HIV, and my Family, ??
It was a very intense week , having all these thoughts in my head,.
and finally I came to peace w/ God, and confessed my sins, I was ready to be diagnosed with HIV,
Today I went for my test result, I was scared, nervous, anxious, but forced myself to walk in that door, and take my number,.
I was called, after 30 + minutes of waiting, and finally , i was called , the nurse asked how i was felling,. I confessed , terrified,. - she sat me down,.
said it was normal to feel this way,. and openend my test results and said NEGATIVE... - I felt like crying,. I did feel a sense of relief- but I feel God is telling me to use this experience to help others.
I'd wish i would have gone to a clinic where i gotten results right away,. but
really God spoke to me during this week,. I know it sounds stupid, but I grieved my past with this, and its a new start with the love of my life - my Wife.



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